Frozen Out of Filipino Conversations !

[22pilgrim]

Excuse me if someone has raised this topic before, but I'm in need of a good rant !

I've noticed that if there are two or more Filipinos together, even if they are both perfectly fluent in English AND aware that your Tagalog etc is limited, they will speak in their own language totally ignoring you. Its even more frustrating when you can hear the odd English phase, maybe your name, and understand a few words so that you get a rough idea of the topic.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy, smiling liking a moron and pretending that the cockroach, spider, lizard on the wall is interesting whilst being TOTALLY ignored.

I met up with a couple of fellow Brits in Manila a couple of weeks ago and we were all moaning about this.

How common is this?

Is this 'freezing out' done on purpose?

Do they realise how rude this is??

Nigel:furious3:

[sweet_cookie08]

Excuse me if someone has raised this topic before, but I'm in need of a good rant !

I've noticed that if there are two or more Filipinos together, even if they are both perfectly fluent in English AND aware that your Tagalog etc is limited, they will speak in their own language totally ignoring you. Its even more frustrating when you can hear the odd English phase, maybe your name, and understand a few words so that you get a rough idea of the topic.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy, smiling liking a moron and pretending that the cockroach, spider, lizard on the wall is interesting whilst being TOTALLY ignored.

I met up with a couple of fellow Brits in Manila a couple of weeks ago and we were all moaning about this.

How common is this?
Is this 'freezing out' done on purpose?

Nigel:furious3:

Hi Nigel,

My hubby used to complain about that as well. :bigcry:Yes indeed, it is really rude. But my husband did some extra effort, he bought a Tagalog tutorial CD that costs him 200 pounds :omg: because he doesnt want that feeling everytime he's here in the Philippines. And as his partner, I even made an effort of translating tagalog to him everytime. And I told my family and friends about it so even if its really hard for some of my friends and family to speak english, they would speak in english whenever my hubby is around or I would always translate. You should start learning tagalog little by little and it wont be a problem for you later :D

[keithAngel]

Excuse me if someone has raised this topic before, but I'm in need of a good rant !

I've noticed that if there are two or more Filipinos together, even if they are both perfectly fluent in English AND aware that your Tagalog etc is limited, they will speak in their own language totally ignoring you. Its even more frustrating when you can hear the odd English phase, maybe your name, and understand a few words so that you get a rough idea of the topic.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy, smiling liking a moron and pretending that the cockroach, spider, lizard on the wall is interesting whilst being TOTALLY ignored.

I met up with a couple of fellow Brits in Manila a couple of weeks ago and we were all moaning about this.

How common is this?

Is this 'freezing out' done on purpose?

Do they realise how rude this is??

Nigel:furious3:

Good Rant I understand how you feel having lived in various countries were English is not the first or even second language what i would say is that in general we are not great in learning new languages ourselves and even when one has after a few hours of concentration...especially when abstractions are being used you notice how demanding that is.

I guess it may be the same for other folk where English ,no matter how fluently spoken is still more demanding than the tongue they learned from mum .

It took me 10 years to be fluent in Portuguese although i was very fast my grammar still leaves something to be desired my daughter of course mastered it flawlessly in 5 years as she did not feel under any pressure

I see language as akin to learning a new song ...first immerse yourself in the melody and look at lizards and one fine day you will find yourself not only understanding but realising the utter banality of 99% of what is being said

[KeithD]

They all do it. I gave up going to Filipina parties, as you'd be sitting on your own like a lemon unless another 'white boy' was there.

[ervenescence]

LOL :D

It's just comfortable talking to our colleagues with the same language eventhough we know da englis beri wel. :Rasp:

Sori if we completely ignored you guyz, welcum to the world of da filipinaz..jejeje.
We know its rude but we promiz u, we did not backstab u at all, just talking about the sizes of ur feet. jejeje..:icon_lol:

[KeithD]

LOL :D

It's just comfortable talking to our colleagues with the same language eventhough we know da englis beri wel. :Rasp:

Sori if we completely ignored you guyz, welcum to the world of da filipinaz..jejeje.
We know its rude but we promiz u, we did not backstab u at all, just talking about the sizes of ur feet. jejeje..:icon_lol:
I'm surprised the asylum let you anywhere near a computer! :rolleyes:

[ervenescence]

I'm surprised the asylum let you anywhere near a computer! :rolleyes:

Hahaha! How u doing Keef? :Rasp:

[KeithD]

Hahaha! How u doing Keef? :Rasp:

Just halfway through self-circumcision but the bricks gone blunt on me......:Cuckoo:

[ervenescence]

Hahaha...LOL

Oh you'll be fine just be careful, make sure you used a proper knife, not the rusty one and oh don't forget... take a deep breath :xxgrinning--00xx3::icon_lol:

[andypaul]

Excuse me if someone has raised this topic before, but I'm in need of a good rant !

I've noticed that if there are two or more Filipinos together, even if they are both perfectly fluent in English AND aware that your Tagalog etc is limited, they will speak in their own language totally ignoring you. Its even more frustrating when you can hear the odd English phase, maybe your name, and understand a few words so that you get a rough idea of the topic.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy, smiling liking a moron and pretending that the cockroach, spider, lizard on the wall is interesting whilst being TOTALLY ignored.

I met up with a couple of fellow Brits in Manila a couple of weeks ago and we were all moaning about this.

How common is this?

Is this 'freezing out' done on purpose?

Do they realise how rude this is??

Nigel:furious3:


Lucky you the mintue i take some time to chill and read a book when in phill while the missus talks about the local market or whatever.

I get a line up of kids, youngsters at uni and older highly educated people (doctors and the like in the family). Plus anyone in the area going to or has a cousin in a county populated with white people wanting to chat to me:rolleyes:

Im very happy to talk to them all some of the younger kids seem to prefer speaking english to tagalog it seems. Due to the telly and all the films i guess:Erm:

Its all the gossips of the family who happy to chat tagalog and as much as I love there company im sure I dont wanna talk about the prices in the wet market as much as they dont wanna talk about the latest games in the premiership:D

I also find that many phills are embrassed and a convo between my Wife and I in full london slang. Leaves even her brighest mates who have either lived in a Englsih speaking country for a while or work in a call centre looking bewildered.

One of my Wifes cousins who works for a us firm as a lawyer in manila is always capable enough to speak full english with me and the Wife but stopped the mintue her mum and my Wifes aunt came back from the shops. Only out of respect as it left them more bewildered than me and as they are older than me I wouldn't want to disrespect them.

In phill if people wanna speak the everyday lanuage fair doos where it winds me up is when particularly a phill bloke speak tagalog to my wife as if to say we are the same he is different not knowing that i understand him enough to kiss my teeth at the right moment:D

Even in the local Phill shop the lovely people who both work in it and customers always speak english when im there, which I ask them not to saying im trying to pick up the lanugage.
Its there sanctuary and haven to be phill outside of there homes.

But for two peeps if they really do have good english language skills it is rude imo.Although some who I thought were really good dry up pretty quick like I do in french if in a full conversation for any time its simply to hard for me or them i guess.

[walesrob]

I've noticed that if there are two or more Filipinos together, even if they are both perfectly fluent in English AND aware that your Tagalog etc is limited, they will speak in their own language totally ignoring you.

If its any comfort, I've experienced this in other countries where the native language and English are the main languages. It even happens here in Wales!

[KeithD]

..... It even happens here in Wales!

No....It just happens to YOU in Wales :icon_lol:

[jencha8569]

my bf feels the same, when he was here
he saying "how i wish i understand them"
especially when my cousins from manila
came to the house for a vacation at the time
he was here so we
speak our dialect (waray), tag, or mixed.
so he kinda get lost at times if we having
a conversation but i always interpret all
as in all good or bad so he will not feel
ignored or out of place.
plus he always on hotseat asking him questions
which he answers truthfully.
he trying to have tag lesson for me which
is not easy i know but at least he trying
and will help him understand tag.

[aromulus]

During the few times that I visited Phil, I was never made to feel unconfortable.

Everyone, even the ones that did not speak english always tried to help.

Jet always translated for me, her father always took time to chat with me in English, and they all made me part of their daily chit chat.
I could see that I was the focus of conversation in most cases while I was there, but I was always included.
Sometime I was asked for my opinion in family matters, and it was readily accepted.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Even now, at home, if Jet chats with her family on YM, she always translates for me.:xxgrinning--00xx3:

But if a certain lady from North Wales phones, they seem to gab for ages and I don't get a look in.....:omg:
It is ok with me, as I can concentrate on watching the "footie" without having to try to explain the offside rules......:D

[walesrob]

No....It just happens to YOU in Wales :icon_lol:

twll dy din...Keith bach :omg:

[aromulus]

:23_116_6[1]:



twll dy din...Keith bach :omg:

[Mrs Daddy]

Excuse me if someone has raised this topic before, but I'm in need of a good rant !

I've noticed that if there are two or more Filipinos together, even if they are both perfectly fluent in English AND aware that your Tagalog etc is limited, they will speak in their own language totally ignoring you. Its even more frustrating when you can hear the odd English phase, maybe your name, and understand a few words so that you get a rough idea of the topic.

Frankly, I'm sick and tired of being the nice guy, smiling liking a moron and pretending that the cockroach, spider, lizard on the wall is interesting whilst being TOTALLY ignored.

I met up with a couple of fellow Brits in Manila a couple of weeks ago and we were all moaning about this.

How common is this?

Is this 'freezing out' done on purpose?

Do they realise how rude this is??

Nigel:furious3:

Huh i didnt know about that.I`ll ask my hubby`s opinion because if i meet some filipino we talk our dialect and I didnt know how mu hubby feels about it.I must be insensitve:NoNo:

[Mrs Daddy]

During the few times that I visited Phil, I was never made to feel unconfortable.

But if a certain lady from North Wales phones, they seem to gab for ages and I don't get a look in.....:omg:
It is ok with me, as I can concentrate on watching the "footie" without having to try to explain the offside rules......:D

hahaha is it Ate ping oh I just love her dearly.Miss you ate ping:Hellooo::BouncyHappy:

[Tish]

My hubby never really bothers about us (filipino) talking in our own language, but he has stopped going to filipino party now though due to feeling like a lemon with no one to talk to! :doh

[IainBusby]

My hubby never really bothers about us (filipino) talking in our own language, but he has stopped going to filipino party now though due to feeling like a lemon with no one to talk to! :doh

I do feel that when Filipinas get together for parties etc and they bring the Brit hubbies along, that they should make more of an effort to speak English, if only so that we husbands can feel free to join in with the conversation.

Iain.

[Tish]

I do feel that when Filipinas get together for parties etc and they bring the Brit hubbies along, that they should make more of an effort to speak English, if only so that we husbands can feel free to join in with the conversation.

Iain.

I really should make an effort to speak English especially during filipino parties, but at the same time, I feel like my hubby should learn to make an effort to make conversations to other people at the party, and not expect me to entertain him :NoNo: After all, I do initiate to talk with Brits people when at a Britsh party, so why can't he? :rolleyes:

[David House]

I don't think you can generalise here. At a party I think it seems to me to be totally acceptable for our partners to speak in Tagalog, Visayan or whatever. After all the main point of the party is to re-create a little of their own culture, eat Filipino food, sing Filipino songs and chat about all things Filipino. However in a cultural setting which is British and populated by a mixture of English and other language speakers then they should expect to use English. I used to own a care home and I employed several Filipino carers. My rule was that they must speak English at all times when at work to ensure that the clients, their relatives and the other staff understood them. When off duty and in their rooms they could use whatever language they wanted.
And I too have had bad experiences in Wales where I once went into a pub to hear the English switch to Welsh as soon as I opened my mouth at the bar and for myself and my wife to be totally blanked.

[aromulus]

And I too have had bad experiences in Wales where I once went into a pub to hear the English switch to Welsh as soon as I opened my mouth at the bar and for myself and my wife to be totally blanked.

Really...???.......................:omg:

Deydondothatdondey....???:Erm:

For how long I may take to think about it, can't really imagine why they would resort to such lowdown and extremely offensive xenophobic behaviour....:Erm:

There must be something to do with B.O. or something, because the Irish and the Scots don't seem to like the English much either....:NoNo:

There must be something in the water they drink probably.....:NoNo:

Never mind, there always is Tenerife....:xxgrinning--00xx3:

I did run a nice little pub, in a coastal village,in Anglesey for quite a while and such encounters always amused me.
The locals always spoke English in my boozer and never had to remind anyone about it.
But I also respected them in their choice to reverse to Welsh in case some lost English soul came through the doors. :omg:
It is their country after all.....

[walesrob]

For how long I may take to think about it, can't really imagine why they would resort to such lowdown and extremely offensive xenophobic behaviour....:Erm:



Its called "Chip-on-the-shoulder" syndrome :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[aromulus]

Its called "Chip-on-the-shoulder" syndrome :xxgrinning--00xx3:

Yes, I agree with you, Rob.

After all the Welsh didn't get "turned over" for centuries and forbidden to speak their own language....:NoNo: It is all in their imagination...:rolleyes:

Oh, well.... Peace...:D

[keithAngel]

Yes, I agree with you, Rob.

After all the Welsh didn't get "turned over" for centuries and forbidden to speak their own language....:NoNo: It is all in their imagination...:rolleyes:

Oh, well.... Peace...:D

In the words of Asterix

[nomorericepleas]

agree with the poster. i had this same problem with my first pinay gf, where i was left to sit on my own and didnt know how to join in.
had the same issue with my current fiancee, and it turned into a major deal when everyday at dinner we'd sit at table with her friends and no-one tried to speak to me. i felt terrible in my own home as it were. I just listen to them not stop talking, no-one tried to explain what was being said.

It went on for weeks i felt more and more left out. I also didnt enjoy going out to some places. I found i was drawn to meeting friends at KTV bars cos i could at least sing while they were talking to each other, so in some way i was joining in, if indirectly.

I know from experience how interesting lizards can be on walls when no-one is taking any notice in you. been there done that. My fiancee even accused me of liking bakla cos i was sitting watching a guy talking, trying to look interested. I didnt know he was bakla at the time, i just thought it was normal to look at the person doing all the talking. he walked past to do something so i was watching what he was doing rather than look for lizards to watch. My fiancee told me to stop looking at him so much. But what was i to do? there were no lizards and few insects on the beach at the time so i had to stare at the sea or people around me.

thats why it's important to try to talk to us foreigners more. I told my fiancee that would never happen in the Uk. If we have guests they are made to feel welcome, and will never be left out of conversations. Well, i'm right aren't i?

[KeithD]

.... Well, i'm right aren't i?

Sorry......you talking to me? :rolleyes:

[gazlou]

Your not on your own mate my wife used to do it to, untill i told her it was rude to do that , i said if I was Welsh, and started to speak Welsh , you would dislike it too, she is quite, understanding , she dont do it now, but when her friends come round, they talk in their tong, but my wife tells them its rude but 98% of them say we dont care , and carry on. I think they are just inconsiderate, and also its obvious they are talking about us or hiding something, they must think what others feel.

Gary

[nomorericepleas]

Your not on your own mate my wife used to do it to, untill i told her it was rude to do that , i said if I was Welsh, and started to speak Welsh , you would dislike it too, she is quite, understanding , she dont do it now, but when her friends come round, they talk in their tong, but my wife tells them its rude but 98% of them say we dont care , and carry on. I think they are just inconsiderate, and also its obvious they are talking about us or hiding something, they must think what others feel.

Gary


yeah, strange behaviour from a nation that claims to be so welcoming and friendly. well, i guess they welcome us, then leave us in the corner to pick our fingernails :NoNo:

[aposhark]

How common is this?

Is this 'freezing out' done on purpose?

Do they realise how rude this is??

Nigel:furious3:

Hi,
I spent many years working in 42 countries, and from what I noticed, every group of people do this.
I don't think it is intentional, my feeling is that it is just easier to communicate in your own language.
Brits do it just as much in other countries too :rolleyes:

[KeithD]

When I'm with my mates talking scouse the missus sits in the corner playing with her finger nails :icon_lol:

[Ana_may365]

my hubby doesnt bother about it,coz after i talk to my friends i tell or explained to him what we talk about.

[mach]

Hi,
I spent many years working in 42 countries, and from what I noticed, every group of people do this.
I don't think it is intentional, my feeling is that it is just easier to communicate in your own language.
Brits do it just as much in other countries too :rolleyes:

bull's eye :xxgrinning--00xx3: