Ungrateful so called family in Philippines!!

[Tish]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks :cwm23:

[jencha8569]

if the issue is about money or something like that
fam or other people can be harsh at
times especially if they
having thoughts that it is easy
living or working abroad but
true facts is that everywhere not
easy to live or work especially away from
fam and friends. dad always telling
us that working abroad is hard,
sweat and blood are his investment.
so we have to think that what he
sending us is hard earned so we have
to set priorities in spending it.

u let it out ate tish maybe divorce
will do:D

[Tish]

I'm getting very close to doing so...

Thanks Jencha

[Tish]

It's partly my fault really for letting them walk all over me :doh

I feel so sorry for them that I let them get away with a lot of things in the past you see :NoNo:

[jencha8569]

stories always have two sides.
maybe u been a spoiler or making
things as an obligation even if it
means sacrificing ur own side.
let things cool down a bit
enjoy urself and ur hubby:)

[Tish]

I don't feel like helping them anymore though :NoNo:

I feel like I've done enough now, and it's about time they learn to fend for themselves :angry:

[Tish]

Thanks for taking the time in replying to my thread anyway. Much appreciated :)

[Mrs Daddy]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks :cwm23:

I know how you feel tish.They just seem to think that our lifestyle here is rich.Try not to contact them for a month:Dand see how it goes:Erm:

[aromulus]

I don't feel like helping them anymore though :NoNo:

I feel like I've done enough now, and it's about time they learn to fend for themselves :angry:

It may seem heartless, but you must make the family understand that money doesn't grow on trees, and life is hard here in the UK too.
You don't mind helping out, from time to time, but total reliance on your financial help is a no-no.

[Tish]

I know how you feel tish.They just seem to think that our lifestyle here is rich.Try not to contact them for a month:Dand see how it goes:Erm:


Very frustrating indeed Mrs Daddy :bigcry:

I don't want anything to do with my arrogant and selfish Brother anymore:cwm23:

[jencha8569]

Thanks for taking the time in replying to my thread anyway. Much appreciated :)

ur welcome ate tish
from the beginning on my side
fam and friends know the real
score so i hoping in the future
things like this will be avoided
if poss.

as what mod dom says total
reliance is a no-no so give
bit of space for urself for sure
they will be calling for you..

[Mrs Daddy]

ur welcome ate tish
from the beginning on my side
fam and friends know the real
score so i hoping in the future
things like this will be avoided
if poss.

as what mod dom says total
reliance is a no-no so give
bit of space for urself for sure
they will be calling for you..

I know what you mean jencha but the guilt inside you is killing you.I couldnt say no to my family and thats upsetting to me and as well I dont want them to sulk for me:Brick:

[jencha8569]

I know what you mean jencha but the guilt inside you is killing you.I couldnt say no to my family and thats upsetting to me and as well I dont want them to sulk for me:Brick:

yes true when it comes to fam
we weak and soft coz we born
and raised with it.
if ate tish can handle bit space
for fam for realizations then it
might be good but we not sure
how both sides will handle there
situation.

i say respect and understanding
plays important role to all:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Tish]

My family are so good at making me feel guilty too, but now I really have enough of them!!

[Tish]

yes true when it comes to fam
we weak and soft coz we born
and raised with it.
if ate tish can handle bit space
for fam for realizations then it
might be good but we not sure
how both sides will handle there
situation.

i say respect and understanding
plays important role to all:xxgrinning--00xx3:

My brother have no respect for me whatsoever! It got to a point that he's now stealing from me :cwm23:

[Mrs Daddy]

My brother have no respect for me whatsoever! It got to a point that he's now stealing from me :cwm23:

thats not good t tish Blimey get him be punish:NoNo:

[Tish]

It may seem heartless, but you must make the family understand that money doesn't grow on trees, and life is hard here in the UK too.
You don't mind helping out, from time to time, but total reliance on your financial help is a no-no.

I think that's where I've gone wrong big time by making my Brother rely on me for the last 8 years!! :doh

[Tish]

thats not good t tish Blimey get him be punish:NoNo:

Well, if he does break into the house again, then I will diffinitely involved the police this time :cwm23:

[Mrs Daddy]

I think that's where I've gone wrong big time by making my Brother rely on me for the last 8 years!! :doh

let him learn a lesson t tish.bad bad boy!:cwm23:

[Mrs Daddy]

Well, if he does break into the house again, then I will diffinitely involved the police this time :cwm23:

its the right thing to do:cwm34:

[Tish]

its the right thing to do:cwm34:

I've had it with him!! I don't care how hard life is for him, he's no right to take things from me without my permission! :cwm23:

[jencha8569]

cheating or stealing is a diffrent
story. if not punished he will go
further, i think its the best way
you can do have the police
seek for a documentation that
states his bad actions and let
ur brother sign if theres agreement
made like he not doing it again
etc.
lessons are learned in the hardest
part of ones life.

[ginapeterb]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

[Tish]

Bravo and well said Pete!!:xxgrinning--00xx3:

And it is a never ending cycle of remittance to the family back in the Philippines for the majority of us (filipino) abroad.

I do feel like I've got a Mug written on my forehead when it comes to my family in Cebu, and all because I always share my "fortune" (or my hard earned cash here) to them. Because deep down, I always feel fortunate that I've escaped that land of poverty!:doh

I may think like a westerner for most of the time, but in my heart I'll always be that abiding citizen of the Philippines where doctrinised into thinking that we must help them in the Philippines even if they cannot be seen helping themselves :Brick:

And they will come a time that enough is enough for me, I just wish it'll come sooner for my own sanity :bigcry:

[Tish]

I'm glad I belong to this forum, as I feel like I've got another family where I can turn to as and when needed.

[IainBusby]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks :cwm23:


Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

The don't appreciate it, they seem to think it's never enough. If it were me, I'd let them go without for a while, 2 or 3 months should do it, then they might start to really appreciate it once you start to send again.

With regard to the brother, It's seems you've supported him for so long, he just takes it completely for granted now and if you don't give what he wants, like a spoilt brat, he just takes it, no worse than that, he actually steals from you. Help is one thing, but total support is a big NO NO in my opinion.
Iain.

[vbkelly]

Well, if he does break into the house again, then I will diffinitely involved the police this time :cwm23:

hmmmmmm a bit serious this problem hopefully solved it soon as possible whatever they done still your family ika nga blood is thicker than water

[jencha8569]

I'm glad I belong to this forum, as I feel like I've got another family where I can turn to as and when needed.

i feel the same, i am glad too that i belong
to this forum:Hellooo:
an open family:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[kimmi]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.


very well said Kuya Peter..:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[keithAngel]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to p:censored:ss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted:omg:

[aromulus]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to p:censored:ss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted:omg:

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

I do admit your sense of humour is really good....

That is a sure recipe for family strife and grudges....:NoNo:

My two peso worth....

[keithAngel]

:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

I do admit your sense of humour is really good....

That is a sure recipe for family strife and grudges....:NoNo:

My two peso worth....

Having read all about it on here I am just looking forward to getting it over with my humour is only matched by my obstinancy:xxgrinning--00xx3: As my grandad once said "you can only spend it once"

[john sergison]

tell your family to go to the cinema and watch the film out now called caregiver.

it si about two philippinos who go abroad to work end up starting relationship and discover how hard it is to be abroad.

it might give them an insight into the fact that money does not fall from the sky.

most of my philippine friends here who have seen it say it is very good for showing it is not easy abroad.

[andypaul]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to p:censored:ss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted:omg:

Best of British

[keithAngel]

tell your family to go to the cinema and watch the film out now called caregiver.

it si about two philippinos who go abroad to work end up starting relationship and discover how hard it is to be abroad.

it might give them an insight into the fact that money does not fall from the sky.

most of my philippine friends here who have seen it say it is very good for showing it is not easy abroad.

just saw the trailer looks very good

[joebloggs]

you can find a cam copy of it on some torrent sites :NoNo:

[andypaul]

you can find a cam copy of it on some torrent sites :NoNo:

It says on the trailer abs cbn so im sure it will be on the Satalite channel so im sure a view have recoreded it for playback.

The Wife was asked by a mate if she wanted to go see it friday by a Phill mate the way she said it was as if it was a screening.

[joebloggs]

well i wonder how many pictures will show it, seeing most of it is in tag :Erm:

it will stero type brits even more, rich whiteys, have you seen the house the old guy owns:icon_lol: and the posh southern accent his kids have, sound as posh as the queen and charlie boy :icon_lol:

[andypaul]

well i wonder how many pictures will show it, seeing most of it is in tag :Erm:

it will stero type brits even more, rich whiteys, have you seen the house the old guy owns:icon_lol: and the posh southern accent his kids have, sound as posh as the queen and charlie boy :icon_lol:

Looks normal to me but im from looonnn doonn:D

[gWaPito]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

I think you must be the true Saint Peter

[pennybarry]

We have opposite problem tish:omg:. I have never been asked about money by my family, BUT I have guilt feeling towards my brother who helped me in my college years. He's in Saudi for 25 years and he's got heart desease. I offered help to him many times but never accepted my offer. He said he can still work. That made my heart broken, that makes me feel cry:bigcry: He has already 7 door apartment, 2 houses, 1 vacant lot, eldest is Registered nurse already but his wife asking for more:cwm23:. I really feel worry for him, I do call him oftentimes begging to go home but to no avail:bigcry:. I told him to buy a jeepney and willing to send him some of my savings for his additional needs.
I do send money to my Mom and if I have no job, it is my husband who send to my Mom, that is his promise to my Mom before.

Anyway we must not give fish but must help them to catch fish if needed as we have our own priorities in life.

God Bless!

[Terrielicious]

Its a fact in UK there isnt 1 Filipino in the country who is not supporting at least 1 other in the Philippines, whether it be Nanay, Tatay, Kuya, Kapitid na babae, cousins (as many as pebbles on a beach) school fees, Doctor Bills, Businesses, Sick Carabao, typhoon damaged roof, tyres for Kuya motor cycle, special paint for jeepney, new mobile phone for Kapitid na babae, spam, corned beef, cadburys chocolate, swiss chocolates, Gillette razors, swiss watches, triumph bra and panties, Armani Jeans, Gucci shoes, Prada eyewear, Dolce and Gabanna fagrance, Louis Vuitton bag, Gap baby clothes, boot fair clap trap, baseball caps, England football shirts, make up sets, grooming tools, razors, more cadbury's chocolate, bars lots of them, more colognes from Boots the Chemist, and to top all of that, all of it, packed in a huge cardboard box called a Balik bayan box, sent twice yearly at a sending fee thats higher than the value of the contents, and then the kapamilya still complain !

Its hard to be working and living in a foreign land, when the wages just do not meet the costs of living there.

But just remember this, a fortune made is a fortune shared ! the good fortune of the overseas foreign worker or the overseas foreign spouse, with the rich white kano husband who works in foreigner land where he has riches beyond compare, must be shared equitably among those less fortunate in the family, after all he is the rich foreign son in law.

Now there is no point in saying "Hindi ako kabayad" or "Walang ako Qwarta" the fact that Diesel is now £1.30+ per litre is not their problem, that council tax bills have gone up 40 per cent in the last 5 years, or that mortgage interest rates have soared, and the costs of food risen by at least 10 per cent in the last 6 months, the fact of the matter is, no matter how expensive your cost of living is, it bares no relationship to theirs !

Are you Gago ? you are over here, and they are over there, of course its easy to complain when the honourable senior sister is languishing in a life of utter luxury in the UK, while the loving kuya's are hanging about the street corners with nothing better to do than smoke hope and drink Tanduay, but of course there is always the evenings to look forward to, when they can play Mhajong and chase the young babae around the Purok.

If only life was more fair, but to send the badly needed remittances which are the lifeblood of the Bangko Central ng Pilipinas, must be the never ending cycles that many who live here have to face, in truth it sucks !

Wouldn't it be nice, if you could get a break you ladies of the Philippines, wouldn't it be nice if you could just spend your hard earned cash on yourself for a change instead of dispatching your pounds to the far side of the world, how many times have you been at the mall and seen that perfect outfit you wanted to buy, only to make a deep sigh of resignation and acceptance that its simply that time of the month.

Yes I know what you're thinking, "I have to send money" ? and so the never ending cycle of life saving remittances starts again, when will it ever end, the answer is sadly, Never, its a never ending cycle, and no matter how hard you work or how hard you seek to please your kapamilya, it will in this world economic slowdown, never be enough.

But until the day arrives, (not in our lifetimes) when money is not the form of payment for goods and services, and until we reach a utopian society, maybe sometime during the 23rd or 24th century, remittances will continue to be sent, such is this thankless task that ones have to endure.

Be proud Filipino your fruits and labours are always appreciated, after all, Jesus said, "There is more pleasure in giving, than their is in receiving", I would like to think you all feel that way too.

very well said:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[islander]

very well said Kuya Peter..:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

I TOTALLY AGREE! :xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

this is also a good thing to ponder on!

[22pilgrim]

Fascinating speaking as one about to enter the "fray" it is not my intention to support any thing which does not foster a move towards self sufficiency and sustainability and i intend to move towards this by peer pressure by encouraging
the family to decide who gets access to the investment capital.

My hope is that pressure not to p:censored:ss it away will come from prospective benifittees and if the family having decided to blow it want more they can earn it themselves I will keep you posted:omg:

I must admit that this is one of our (wife & self) concerns about retiring in the Philippines. Its bad enough on a holiday when distant relatives come out of the woodwork wanting a handout PLUS the expectations of closer family. Talking to many expats, its a common concern / problem. Best advice would seem to be:
* give / lend only what you can afford to lose and do not expect any of it back ever!
* as Keith says fund self sufficiency;
* give to only close family members;
* give once and once only with the sole exception of genuine medical emergencies.

I might also add:
* do not startup a business in the Philippines either by yourself or in partnership;
* do not get involved in any land / property arrangements / deals with family;
* do not let family look after / use your Philippine house when you are back in the UK / abroad.
I've probably heard enough horror stories to write a book!

Hope this helps,

Nigel

[Mrs Daddy]

I've had it with him!! I don't care how hard life is for him, he's no right to take things from me without my permission! :cwm23:

Absolutely correct.your just doing what`s right for him t tish:xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

Just give all relatives one of those multi-devices. You know the one, can colect water, be used as a shower, storage, even used as a toilet......and many more things.....they'll be made up......






....we call them buckets here......

[flomike]

I know its hard to be a filipino sometimes:NoNo: our family thinks that we are the saviour from heaven:doh

I agree with 22pilgrim said: * do not get involved in any land / property arrangements / deals with family. I had an experienced like that my husband agreed that we continue the mortage of my family. We pay the 1 year arrears and continue the monthly ammortization (payable in 10 years). We send money for the house to finish and i am paying the ammortization for about a year. Then they decided not to live there bec they realized its too far ( I mean its not accesible to the town ). Which is really annoying:furious3:

Then when my mother get very ill, I wasn't able to continue paying it bec all the money goes to her medication and hospitalization ( unfortunately, she died last march 2008:bigcry: :bigcry: ).

So my family decided to sell the property bec I can't afford to pay it anymore and me and my husband decided not to get a share on it all as they need it morethan us here. But the thing is the money we used for the house is a loan so....right now I am paying for the loan for another 3 years more:Brick:

[KeithD]

I'd never take out a loan to give someone else money. If I ain't got it, they ain't gettin it! :Cuckoo:

[kentish]

* do not let family look after / use your Philippine house when you are back in the UK / abroad.
I've probably heard enough horror stories to write a book!

Hope this helps,

Nigel

The best thing to do is build a nipa hut if in the province or the very basic house like a match box then ask them if they want to live there free of charge.They just have to feed themselves. Just tell them to maintain the premises:):):).

[alicat]

I'd never take out a loan to give someone else money. If I ain't got it, they ain't gettin it! :Cuckoo:

i agree:xxgrinning--00xx3::xxgrinning--00xx3:

[Eljohno]

I think being too giving at the start when you move abroad is not a wise thing as this then is expected to be the normal thing.

Your husband & children in the UK need to be first and then of course help the family in the Philippines. I mean Mother, father, brothers & sisters and only if you can afford it then the extended family.

I agree with what Keith said only send what you can and do not borrow like it showed recently with a filipino in the UK who went bankrupt because of always trying to help her family in the Philippines.

Pete has been around long enough to know how it works(not saying you are old mate :NoNo:) and the truth is that its getting much harder in the UK and less money to spend or send is available.:ARsurrender:

[angel1231]

i know its very hard to be with filipino family but i think its ur wife has to deal with it...my husband always tell me if i want to send some money and i always say no..coz i already provide them something to make them occupied and business and i tell them to look after it ....the onlything that my family keep asking me is to call them everynow and then just to hear and talk my daugther not me bytheway.....and not to much to ask i think...gudluck to all married one whose still dealing with the family matters in the P.I.

[cheesewiz]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off:NoNo:. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing:NoNo:.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them:yikes: and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie:omg:

[KeithD]

...... I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off.....
If you were my wife, I'd make sure you also had a second job as well, no use lazing around when you can be making me more money to count while I watch the TV all day :D

:xxparty-smiley-004:

[IainBusby]

You must be crazy, £300 a month plus the mortgage, it's no wonder they have a maid. I bet they find it hard to find enough things to spend all their (your) money on. If you carry on helping them this much, they're never going to try to help themselves.
Iain.

[kimmi]

If you were my wife, I'd make sure you also had a second job as well, no use lazing around when you can be making me more money to count while I watch the TV all day :D

:xxparty-smiley-004:

:doh:doh:doh:icon_lol::icon_lol::icon_lol:

[pennybarry]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off:NoNo:. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing:NoNo:.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them:yikes: and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie:omg:

Wish you have more and more strenght to support them but sometimes you need to admit that you are not helping them but tolerating them to become lazy. If that will happen to me I may feel they are abusing me.
Sorry to hear that:cwm34:

[Eljohno]

Surely there is something wrong with sending them so much money they can afford a maid - making them think you are rich, i see more trouble ahead!!

[Tish]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off:NoNo:. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing:NoNo:.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them:yikes: and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie:omg:


Pardon me for prying, but how do you afford all that o:Erm:n a minimum wage?

[aromulus]

Being a single and working here in UK (caregiver) I worked so hard in 12hrs/day sometimes 6 days/week with just one day-off instead of usuall 3 days off:NoNo:. Its really tiring but Im here to work, earn money and enjoy life. I admit that I give so much to my family back home I gave them £300/month for their expenses aside from Im paying the mortgage the house there and hopefully its all paid off in 5 years more if my status in UK as a work permit visa won't have any problem as the immigraiton law keep on changing:NoNo:.

My family back home have a MAID who do house works for them:yikes: and me here Im doing everything on my own and don't even have a time for my self most of the time. For sure you think I spoiled my family in the Phils (in a way you are right) but of course I save money for my self as well which I don't tell or discuss with them. Its hard to digest the guilt you have if you don't help them so here I am a loving daughter, sister and auntie:omg:

This is not help at all in my books.....:NoNo:

You are allowing yourself to be totally exploited.:omg:
And thus denying yourself to your right to happiness.:NoNo:

I understand the moral obbligations towards the family in the moment of need, but it is very clear that you have taken the burden over your shoulders to keep them ad infinitum... :doh
It is no wonder that they will not look for any work to help out, as everything is supplied to them on a silver platter.:omg:
Wake up and start thinking about your own life and future....:NoNo:
You are not a slave.

[Tish]

This is not help at all in my books.....:NoNo:

You are allowing yourself to be totally exploited.:omg:
And thus denying yourself to your right to happiness.:NoNo:

I understand the moral obbligations towards the family in the moment of need, but it is very clear that you have taken the burden over your shoulders to keep them ad infinitum... :doh
It is no wonder that they will not look for any work to help out, as everything is supplied to them on a silver platter.:omg:
Wake up and start thinking about your own life and future....:NoNo:
You are not a slave.

Well said Dom!! :xxgrinning--00xx3:

My family here in the UK are my first priority and family in Philippines will just have to come second and they know it!!

I still can't help sending them some money though :doh But only enough to stop them from hunger :xxgrinning--00xx3:

[KeithD]

You are not a slave.

Hope my missus doesn't read that bit :Bolt: :D

[aromulus]

Hope my missus doesn't read that bit :Bolt: :D

Too late.....:omg:..... You have been rumbled.........:icon_lol:

[David House]

I wholly agree with the sentiment of not helping too much early on. It definately builds up expectations. The problem is that many Filipinos have little sense of tomorrow, nor much business sense. Anyone newly into a relationship and contemplating how to "help" will do well to heed all this advice. I have made many mistakes and was far to generous to begin with, motivated by good intentions that ultimately did them no favours. I bought "the family" two houses, two jeeps, a workshop and a sari sari store. Well actually I loaned my wife the money to do it, the deal being that she would pay it back from her earnings over the years, but that I would finance it now rather than make them wait as her parents are getting old. The idea was to set them up, and then make them self sufficient by giving them all enough work. Then we could relax, live our lives and visit without pressure. Fat chance! Every time there is a problem, big or small, it arrives at our door. The businesses have all failed. the jeeps are on standby and only used as "service" for the family because they did not save to renew the licences, the workshop has closed because one of the brothers sold all the equipment and so has the store because they ate all the stock. No planning at all, no saving for tomorrow. Whenever anything is needed we get a text. It seems we have supported not only the direct family but the whole extended family, whose numbers must run into hundreds. Add to them the local church who sponge of them whenever they can and the parents mentality of sharing "blessings" and it becomes easier to see why it has happened. My wife is now married to a rich white guy and it is her duty just to give whenever they ask. We have held many family meetings when I have explained what I have done, why and what I expect from them. They all say OK and when we have gone nothing changes. We have tried not sending money, but they just build up debts with us as their only way to clear them. We are making some slow progress now and in the future, when we live partly in Cebu ( we chose Cebu over Bohol where the family live deliberately to be close enough to visit but not right on top) my wife will take over the management of each business and control what is done. It is a constant fight because they lack a manager and are always having petty disputes. With hindsight I may have been better providing several nippa huts, rather than the two houses we bought (one brand new and costing several million) and putting the balance on deposit in the Philippines, probably in one of the high yielding rural bank deposit schemes. Then they could be given the interest each month to live on. I have heard similar stories to mine often enough to know this is not an uncommon problem so pleased be warned.

[Tish]

I wholly agree with the sentiment of not helping too much early on. It definately builds up expectations. The problem is that many Filipinos have little sense of tomorrow, nor much business sense. Anyone newly into a relationship and contemplating how to "help" will do well to heed all this advice. I have made many mistakes and was far to generous to begin with, motivated by good intentions that ultimately did them no favours. I bought "the family" two houses, two jeeps, a workshop and a sari sari store. Well actually I loaned my wife the money to do it, the deal being that she would pay it back from her earnings over the years, but that I would finance it now rather than make them wait as her parents are getting old. The idea was to set them up, and then make them self sufficient by giving them all enough work. Then we could relax, live our lives and visit without pressure. Fat chance! Every time there is a problem, big or small, it arrives at our door. The businesses have all failed. the jeeps are on standby and only used as "service" for the family because they did not save to renew the licences, the workshop has closed because one of the brothers sold all the equipment and so has the store because they ate all the stock. No planning at all, no saving for tomorrow. Whenever anything is needed we get a text. It seems we have supported not only the direct family but the whole extended family, whose numbers must run into hundreds. Add to them the local church who sponge of them whenever they can and the parents mentality of sharing "blessings" and it becomes easier to see why it has happened. My wife is now married to a rich white guy and it is her duty just to give whenever they ask. We have held many family meetings when I have explained what I have done, why and what I expect from them. They all say OK and when we have gone nothing changes. We have tried not sending money, but they just build up debts with us as their only way to clear them. We are making some slow progress now and in the future, when we live partly in Cebu ( we chose Cebu over Bohol where the family live deliberately to be close enough to visit but not right on top) my wife will take over the management of each business and control what is done. It is a constant fight because they lack a manager and are always having petty disputes. With hindsight I may have been better providing several nippa huts, rather than the two houses we bought (one brand new and costing several million) and putting the balance on deposit in the Philippines, probably in one of the high yielding rural bank deposit schemes. Then they could be given the interest each month to live on. I have heard similar stories to mine often enough to know this is not an uncommon problem so pleased be warned.

This story is very similar to mine David, but I haven't gone as far as your spending :Rasp: And I think I've got a good business mind; It's a shame that my family doesn't :angry: or they would have been a lot better off now!

[aromulus]

Jet family must be going against the grain somewhere.....:Erm:

After the wedding, I bought the father a new 15HP engine for the fishing pumboat, as the old one had been re-bored several times and was dangerous to use.
He didn't ask for it, I just did it because i felt I wanted to help in some way.

A few months ago, they changed the fishing regulations around Cebu, so there was no chance for them to travel and fish outside their immediate area, which is Talisay....:NoNo:
Apart from the very poor fishing, he had one of his 2 boats, confiscated for straying over one of the invisible borders....:NoNo:
So before something nasty happened to the other one, he asked for my permission to sell the engine.
I told him that it was not my engine, as his name was on the bill of sale, and that it belonged to him....

Yesterday Jet informed me, that with the 20k, he received for the engine, he has had a well dug in the back garden,and got loads of fresh water, thus making everybody around there and his Mrs quie jealous, so they don't need to buy those big bottles anymore. :xxgrinning--00xx3:
Also they finally have running water in the toilet/shower house that Jet has had built before she arrived here....:xxgrinning--00xx3:
And as a bonus he will build a couple of washing tanks, and charge the neighbours for washing their clothes there....
Very neat trick, I thought....:xxgrinning--00xx3:

Canna grumble.....:rolleyes:

[maria_and_matt]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks :cwm23:

technically i have divorced my family back home, they were all about money, they cant text or send us bday cards but they texts if the money we sent ran out! we send them £450 a month but they couldnt survive on that and need more :o! after 16 years of sending money back home i thought it is about time i put my family here first, life has certainly improved for us with £450 a month extra to spend the joy of shopping has been rediscovered!

[KeithD]

Always best to just send random payments, that way no one gets in a habit.

[David House]

Just an update on my story. Since writing my last piece there has been another "crisis" which involved a niece requiring hospital treatment. After resisiting for as long as possible my wife gave way to the moral blackmail and sent the money. Later we found that her sister had used a private room in a private hospital, rather than go to the much cheaper public one. Why? Because we would pay! When they "needed" the money we got texts from everyone, several every day. Since it was sent not one. No thank you of any sort. I do my best to try to understand but sometimes it is hard.

[Geraldine]

If my family were like that...the more Im not going to help them. :cwm23:

[rob36london]

Everyone seems to be bitching on about their poorer families, as if it is a peculiar problem to the phillipines and it's emigrants who have left. It isn't. I saw exactly the same sort of thing happen when my parents left Italy, in the 60s and did well in the UK.

I think it is in the nature of humanity that when a member of any extended family leaves a country amidst poverty to do better to a far away place that those left behind will expecting support in some ways. Regardless of the fact that the richer country they go to, might leave them economically not that much better off in reality. Peoples perceptions are easily skewed. Also factually, the average filipino is a lot poorer than the average westerner.

How you deal with it, is your own prerogative, though I find it a bit unsettling that the general tone of the posts is that filipino's are feckless, disorganised, lazy, useless etc. I m sure you can say the same about individuals in any country but I think it is a bit much to label the whole country as such.

I m with the random acts of kindess poster though, tough as it might be, certain regular payments will always be taken as a given and worked into peoples budgets whoever they are.

If I knew for example I was getting £10000 a month in perpetuity, I know the way I worked would change to compensate for the fact, (i.e. less). It's just natural human behaviour, it doesnt matter who is giving and who is receiving really.

[David House]

I am NOt suggesting it is only in the Philippines. It is however the only place I have any direct experience with so the only place I can comment upon. Nor do I suggest that everyone is the same, in fact I know many who are far from feckless and lazy. I admire those who struggle against their adversity and ask for nothing. Nor do I feel it is their fault. It is a cultural thing and an unhealthy one at that. I have tried to change the attitude within my wife's family because I truly believe that giving them the chance to be self sufficient is a better option. I have failed totally. Of course we want to help, we both understand their situation very well, but we would like them to want to help themselves too, but so often all they want is to deal with today's problem and leave tomorrow to fate. Or, more usually, to us. If someone gave me £10,000 a month in perpetuity I hope I would not change anything I do. I hope I would try to use the money wisely to ensure a better future for those I love.

[keithAngel]

I am NOt suggesting it is only in the Philippines. It is however the only place I have any direct experience with so the only place I can comment upon. Nor do I suggest that everyone is the same, in fact I know many who are far from feckless and lazy. I admire those who struggle against their adversity and ask for nothing. Nor do I feel it is their fault. It is a cultural thing and an unhealthy one at that. I have tried to change the attitude within my wife's family because I truly believe that giving them the chance to be self sufficient is a better option. I have failed totally. Of course we want to help, we both understand their situation very well, but we would like them to want to help themselves too, but so often all they want is to deal with today's problem and leave tomorrow to fate. Or, more usually, to us. If someone gave me £10,000 a month in perpetuity I hope I would not change anything I do. I hope I would try to use the money wisely to ensure a better future for those I love.

Hear Hear David you wouldn't find me retiring to some beach-side property Golf in the mornings , liquid lunches , tiffen and evening poolside BBQs how boring would that be. :NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:

[KeithD]

Hear Hear David you wouldn't find me retiring to some beach-side property Golf in the mornings , liquid lunches , tiffen and evening poolside BBQs how boring would that be. :NoNo::NoNo::NoNo:
:Erm: Very actually if you do it every day!!

[David House]

Do I detect the heavy smell of sarcasm? As I am planning to retire quite soon to a beach side property, play a little golf and enjoy some barbecues I find this comment pretty amusing! However, in my defence I would say I have earned the right to do this. No-one has given me a damed thing.

Hear Hear David you wouldn't find me retiring to some beach-side property Golf in the mornings , liquid lunches , tiffen and evening poolside BBQs how boring would that be.

[joebloggs]

Do I detect the heavy smell of sarcasm? As I am planning to retire quite soon to a beach side property, play a little golf and enjoy some barbecues I find this comment pretty amusing! However, in my defence I would say I have earned the right to do this. No-one has given me a damed thing.

Hear Hear David you wouldn't find me retiring to some beach-side property Golf in the mornings , liquid lunches , tiffen and evening poolside BBQs how boring would that be.

:xxgrinning--00xx3: i think there are a few planning to do the same :xxgrinning--00xx3:, soon as i've got enough money, i'll leave this :censored: country :D

[Piamed]

Unfortunately, I owe, I owe, so it's off to work I go! for another 20 years! :yikes:

[half.k]

I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough! Now I feel like divorcing them all (wishful thinking!!)

Just letting off steam folks :cwm23:


over the years, i've seen my busting her ass off to provide everything to her huge family back home, it makes me mad that most of them got lazy, didnt work anymore, my mum paid degrees to my cousins and they just seat around all day, after graduating waiting for their pocket money...
in the other hand, all that money could've made my life a lot easier to me, who is her only daughter and live in the same country as her, while in Uni...

TRUTH IS: THEY WILL NEVER APPRECIATE IT WASNT THEM WHO EARNED THE MONEY AND WERE NEVER HERE TO SEE HOW IT FEELS LIKE!!

dont get me wrong, i love them very much, and i do agree with my mum helping them to a certain extend... but they just get lazy and take it for granted!

[half.k]

opss => "I've seen my MUM bursting ...."

[nomorericepleas]

My family are so good at making me feel guilty too, but now I really have enough of them!!

I had all the same from my fiancees family, well from my ex fiancee also as i've said elsewhere.

we bought a house from my fiancees uncle cos they had so much debt they were due to be arrested the following week and thrown in jail. I had never even seen the house but decided to buy it to help them out. It had been on sale for a long time but they were asking 300k, way too much for the area and condition of the house. we ended up agreeing on 250k. from then on, they forgot we saved them from jail buying their rubbish tip of a house. they continually asked for more afterwards.

My fiancee is at war permanently with that family cos she refused to give them any more of my money. they did get 9k out of us by hiding the fact they had a right of way on the lot, so we had to buy them out. They still want more. They are not happy they avoided jail and now have money to begin a new store of their own again.

her other uncle complained when i bought them 2 fishing nets cos he needed a new one. I didnt know at the time, my fiancee was too embarrassed to tell me what he said. She also bought his family rice and washing soap behind my back, and when she delivered it, he said " is that all we get" daw. He also claimed i must be "pobre". She told him that i didnt even know she was giving them that, and they should be grateful.

She is now at war with that family also. She has fallen out with so many people over money. It really is a crab mentality there. They all think because i am white, they can all get a piece. Well SHE is my fiancee, not them or their daughters, so they don't deserve anything from me. It might be philippine way, but it's not mine. They should earn money and earn my respect also. They won't be getting EITHER in future.

best to lose an ungrateful family, than lose a love. Your family are just showing that they are family in name only. They don't feel close to you, they only have interest in you helping them, and sorry to say, thats often because they are too idle to try to help themselves. Stand by your man and forget them.

[gazlou]

[QUOTE=Tish;71694]I can't believe how ungrateful my family are in Cebu!! You do what you can for them, and still not enough!

I have the same problem as well and whatever I say, they don't really care.:doh:smileybigangry: