Advice!! I'm a scouser we are all alcoholics

I'd get the citizenship sorted first, that resolves some of the other issues automatically.

Try.....putting diuretics in his drink It won't stop him, but it'll give the missus a laugh!! ...and don't forget to add pee

Everything is split 50/50 in this country, 50% to the wife, 50% to the missus

As for threatening behaviour, can I send some friends round to introduce him to Mr Punch?