I'm British and in the Phils living with my wife. Our daughter was born 4 weeks ago and is the apple of my eye. I really do love my wife so much.

The problem is money. The savings we had were burned through faster than we had anticipated (moving expenses, the childbirth etc) and it's getting short now. I had planned on starting a business (not based here; producing software worldwide but the investment hasn't come through) and I cannot get a local job either for various reasons (enough qualifications, but I'm just not a Pinoy). I've managed to get some work over the net, but it's poorly paid and very short term.

This means that to earn money, I will have to leave my wife and child to go back to the UK and work. I don't need to say that this will bring her a lot of heartache and it feels too early to be leaving my child. She won't be coping on her own as we are living at her parents' house - they obviously love the child and the whole family help out with the baby, so I won't be leaving her in the lurch so to speak.

The main problem is that my wife wants me to stay and forget about running out of cash. The other problem is that I have to decide soon. If I go, I will have to pay for the travel to the UK and leave her and her family enough money to get by for a while until I am working again (which will be quickly - I'm good at finding work in the UK even if it's grunt work). If I stay much longer, there won't be enough money to cover these things and I will have to find a way to get money in the Phils which is not easy for a white guy.

I'm torn. On one hand, I need to be a good husband and father and stay with my family. On the other hand, I won't be much of a husband and father if we run out of money.

What would everyone advise? What ever I choose, there is a terrible consequence. Being apart will be tremendously hard, and not just for my wife. But I also have to provide for them - they are entirely my responsibility and making sure they are fed and clothed and the bills are paid is my life's duty. On the other hand, it will be easier to get investment while I'm in the UK.