CFO and SMEF-COW RANT

[IainBusby]

Hi All,
My wife of 4 weeks is currently stranded in Cebu after travelling there from Cagayan De Oro to attend this pre-departure seminar thingy, which I believe the Philippine government has turned over to a load of nuns. My wife has an 8 years old daughter and does a full time job so she can support her. Anyway, because she is a contract worker, she tried to work out the best way to do this and take the minimum amount of time off work to get this seminar thingy out of the way.

She decided to wait until she was on night shift and then take 2 nights off, Tuesday and Wednesday. This tied in very well with the ferry sailings from CDO because it meant that she could sail overnight and arrive in Cebu @ 06:00am, attend the course on the Wednesday and then sail from Cebu to CDO overnight again, leaving at 7:00pm and arriving back in CDO @ 06:00am on Thursday, have a kip and go back to work on Thursday night. "SORTED"

All sounds very logical you might think and it all went according to plan until it came to attending the seminar. After going right there first thing and being almost first in the queue to register for the seminar, it turns out that the schedule for those intending to apply to come to the UK is @ 3:00pm at which time she came back and attended the seminar, more or less to be told that I would probably begin to beat both day and night from the moment she arrived here, until I got fed up and didn't enjoy beating her anymore, at which point I would probably sell to a brothel owner and into a life life of eternal prostitution.

Anyway, after they had told her all this stuff, she left to go to the CFO to collect her certificate to prove that she had gone through this ordeal, ahh, but you've guessed it, by that time the CFO offices were shut. Well, as so much time effort and money had already been put into this project, which would all be for nothing without that certificate, we decided that it would be best for her to find a cheap hotel, stay overnight in Cebu and collect the certificate the following day.

The next problem was that there was no sailing from Cebu to CDO the next day and there was only one flight which was with Asian Spirit @ 08:00am, far to early for her to get to the CFO, collect her certificate and get to the airport. So she is now stranded in Cebu for another night and has had to buy some clothes etc. Besides all this, to add insult to injury, because she is a contract worker, she has to collect her work ticket for the following week, personally on each friday, otherwise, you've guessed it again, she doesn't get to work that week. So what she was going to be a loss of 2 nights wages has turned into a loss of almost 2 weeks pay.

I dont know whats happening now until she manages to come online again, because now, her cellphone battery is dead because she didn't bring the charger with her.

All I can say is, you wait till the next time I pass a do-gooder nun in the street

[walesrob]

Iain,

Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear of your wife's tale with the CFO - Elsa had a similair problem (she travelled from Manila just to collect a certificate, but was fobbed off at every turn on arrival in Cebu, but only her persistance got everything sorted), and I'm sure Pete will tell you his personal experience of the CFO as well hehe.

I always see the CFO as ANOTHER way for the Philippine government to fleece their citizens out of money, and trust me it doesn't stop there, even at the airport they want money, money, money.

[scotsfiancee]

Iain,
I always see the CFO as ANOTHER way for the Philippine government to fleece their citizens out of money, and trust me it doesn't stop there, even at the airport they want money, money, money.

Your right ROB money runs everything here!

[IainBusby]

Hi Rob & Elsa, Don't get me started on money, its not just the Philippine government, it seems to be everyone who has even a thimbleful of authority.

Do you know, because of some legal stuff that had to be tied up, my wife and I only just managed to get married just before my return. Well, we managed to find a judge (and I use the term very loosely, you understand) who said it would cost us P5,000 and we would have to pay this up front. Well because it was all a bit last minute and he had us over a barrel so to speak, I aggreed to pay this. but as we were in the cab going to the wedding venue, with all the invited family and guests also on their way, we got a call from the judge's secretary saying that the judge wanted another P5,000 to come and marry us, otherwise he wouldn't be there. This of course had to be paid before the ceremony took place. You know its hard getting married when you have an almost irresistable urge to punch the man who is marrying you in the face.

[gingxrick]

Hi Iainand elsa,
Sorry to hear the trouble you went through at Cebu,my wife ging had the same trouble about being late to get the certificate but she spoke to the guard at the gate and explained she had to catch the ferry the guard spoke to someonecame back took ging in and she got her certificate and was able to catch the ferry with 5 mins to spare.

[fred]

I did read somewhere that these certs are for sale..If you can`t be bothered to go through this malarky then it costs around P10,000..
Whether this is to a corrupt nun or just an under table bribe to an office somewhere,I am not certain?
P10,000?
Sounds like a bargain to me.

[KeithD]

Corruption.....in the Philippines.....whatever next??

[walesrob]

Hi Iainand elsa,
Sorry to hear the trouble you went through at Cebu,

Eh? Whats going on here then?

I think you meant Iain and his wife!!! hands off my Elsa hehe

[KeithD]

Isn't 'IAIAND ELSA' runnning in the 4:30 at Ascot?

[IainBusby]

Honest Rob, I never met the lady, Elsa who

[IainBusby]

By the way Rob, the love of my life, (and it's been a very long and boring life until now) is called Louella.

[IainBusby]

Hi Fred, I wish I could have found out where the certificate could be bought, cos I'm sure your right.

[baboyako]

have we discussed all this before?

just buy a return ticket to hong kong (20,000pesos) then a one way ticket to the UK.

At least when you start beating her, it will be a :xxviolent suprise !

[IainBusby]

You may have discussed this b4, but i'm in the dark, but then again, thats nothing unusual.

[baboyako]

I think it goes along the lines of... if you have a passport & UK visa,then the only problem you have is GETTIN OUT of philippines.

So all you do is buy a return ticket to sing or hk, and tell the immigration dudes at manila or cebu that you're just going for the weekend, then of course you just carry on to the UK.. and don't go back until she has a UK passport...

[ginapeterb]

Iain,

Welcome to the forum, sorry to hear of your wife's tale with the CFO - Elsa had a similair problem (she travelled from Manila just to collect a certificate, but was fobbed off at every turn on arrival in Cebu, but only her persistance got everything sorted), and I'm sure Pete will tell you his personal experience of the CFO as well hehe.

I always see the CFO as ANOTHER way for the Philippine government to fleece their citizens out of money, and trust me it doesn't stop there, even at the airport they want money, money, money.

Ian,

As Rob has pointed out, yours tale of woe is common, sadly, the SMEF-COW is a complete and utter nonsense to us in the West, but it is a requirement before obtaining an emigrant number, of course the whole thing is a complete joke from one end to the other, my experiences are more or less the same, We had 1 failed attempt in Manila, after i had sweated my way up LTR3 from Ayala Centre to QC North on a sweaty smelly train ride, sweating my way up to this shack, which resembles something out of a Mexican shanty village, and then to sit outside on wooden benches which resemble a makeshift church in the African bush.

So..I have to say, we have all been there and had the t shirt made, Ian, its par for the course I am afraid, Cebu tends to be better, Just a bad set of circumstances in your case, one thing after another.

I hope your wife now has her Certificate of completion of the guidance and counselling.

With that she can go to the DFA and obtain an emigrant number, make sure she does this before returning to CDO.

Best of Luck

Pete

[IainBusby]

Hi baboyako, If I though that was at all feasible, I'd give it a go. I'll try most things once and if I was drunk the first time, I'll even try it again just to be sure.

[baboyako]

well thats my plan anyway. a pair of return DVO-SIN flights is just 600quid, then its - adios! or tara na!

[Pauldo]

Hi Rob & Elsa, Don't get me started on money, its not just the Philippine government, it seems to be everyone who has even a thimbleful of authority.

Do you know, because of some legal stuff that had to be tied up, my wife and I only just managed to get married just before my return. Well, we managed to find a judge (and I use the term very loosely, you understand) who said it would cost us P5,000 and we would have to pay this up front. Well because it was all a bit last minute and he had us over a barrel so to speak, I aggreed to pay this. but as we were in the cab going to the wedding venue, with all the invited family and guests also on their way, we got a call from the judge's secretary saying that the judge wanted another P5,000 to come and marry us, otherwise he wouldn't be there. This of course had to be paid before the ceremony took place. You know its hard getting married when you have an almost irresistable urge to punch the man who is marrying you in the face.

I don't know quite what my little part of the Philippines does so well, but my wife has had two passports over there, with no hassle, no bribes, she has had two different UK visas, we then got married, by a nice judge, thus three CFO visits, we got our daughter christened, got her birth certificates, (UK and Philippines) got her passport, got her immigration clearance sorted (because she was born there), all with no real hassle.

We also got my mum in laws passport, her visa, her CFO visit, her clearance and there was never a hint of a cock up with any of it.

Either we got real good luck, or the god of immigration was in a good mood those days.

I've heard real nightmares about girls just trying to get passports, but my wife applied, and they gave it to her, both times, no bother at all, no questions, no bribes or BS

Maybe she has a nice smile?

[fred]

Hi Fred, I wish I could have found out where the certificate could be bought, cos I'm sure your right.

Ok..Now I really have to find out who you should have given some SMB cash too to save you from that nightmare...

I`ll post it here just to add insult to injury..he he..
Fred.

[fred]

I don't know quite what my little part of the Philippines does so well, but my wife has had two passports over there, with no hassle, no bribes, she has had two different UK visas, we then got married, by a nice judge, thus three CFO visits, we got our daughter christened, got her birth certificates, (UK and Philippines) got her passport, got her immigration clearance sorted (because she was born there), all with no real hassle.

I suppose it depends on how long you have been married??
I was chained to a bamboo post 20 years back (just joking Anna !!!) but things back then where a breeze.
All I had to do was just nail the banns to an embassy interior wall for 28 days, give the city hall guy P500.00 for the ceremony and we were away..Next stop London.
Obviously different now.