serious question...

[IainBusby]

Most definately and I think it's all a matter of perception. That is to say they widely held perception in Phils that we are all so rich in this country and whatever we send, we could send much more.

I think what also causes this is that there is also a certain amount of guilt by the Filipina's who are married to Brits and live here about this. I think that many think they should scrimp and do without so they can send more and they feel guilty about our (compared to Phils) indulgent and extravagant lifestyle here in the UK. This can lead to friction with a westernised husband who is used to being indulgent when it can be afforded.

Personally, I beleive that the only way round it is to set an affordable amount that you will send per month and stick to it and then when emergency requests come along, they should be considered firstly by affordability and then on merit.

I have read many threads on this forum where people have said they send what I consider huge amounts of money and I think that giving so much just leads to dependancy. Wherever possible you should offer help not support.

Iain.

[menchkin]

Most definately and I think it's all a matter of perception. That is to say they widely held perception in Phils that we are all so rich in this country and whatever we send, we could send much more.

I think what also causes this is that there is also a certain amount of guilt by the Filipina's who are married to Brits and live here about this. I think that many think they should scrimp and do without so they can send more and they feel guilty about our (compared to Phils) indulgent and extravagant lifestyle here in the UK. This can lead to friction with a westernised husband who is used to being indulgent when it can be afforded.

Personally, I beleive that the only way round it is to set an affordable amount that you will send per month and stick to it and then when emergency requests come along, they should be considered firstly by affordability and then on merit.

I have read many threads on this forum where people have said they send what I consider huge amounts of money and I think that giving so much just leads to dependancy. Wherever possible you should offer help not support.

Iain.

[PeterB]

Most definately and I think it's all a matter of perception. That is to say they widely held perception in Phils that we are all so rich in this country and whatever we send, we could send much more.

Indeed ... we westerners may be prepared to send what money is left over after we have paid for our own luxuries and put a little bit away for a rainy day. The filipina OFW makes tremendous sacrifices to provide the means for the rest of their family to have a life and an education.

The OFW will put up with hardship and abuse that we have difficulty believing, disregarding their own right to a life.

[IainBusby]

Indeed ... we westerners may be prepared to send what money is left over after we have paid for our own luxuries and put a little bit away for a rainy day. The filipina OFW makes tremendous sacrifices to provide the means for the rest of their family to have a life and an education.

The OFW will put up with hardship and abuse that we have difficulty believing, disregarding their own right to a life.

Hear Hear. If they come to a country like the UK and they're here for long haul, then they ought to build a life for themselves which includes luxuries. Not just scrimp and do without themselves so they can send most off their hard earned back home.

Iain.

[IainBusby]

Indeed ... we westerners may be prepared to send what money is left over after we have paid for our own luxuries and put a little bit away for a rainy day. The filipina OFW makes tremendous sacrifices to provide the means for the rest of their family to have a life and an education.

The OFW will put up with hardship and abuse that we have difficulty believing, disregarding their own right to a life.

is helping your family in PI caused a strain in your relationship.

I think the girls who get married and come to the UK need to make their families back home understand that they are not OFW's, they are wives and they are here primarily to build a new life/family with their husbands. Not that they will forget their families back home, but that must come first.
Iain.

[Piamed]

Most definately and I think it's all a matter of perception. That is to say they widely held perception in Phils that we are all so rich in this country and whatever we send, we could send much more.

I think what also causes this is that there is also a certain amount of guilt by the Filipina's who are married to Brits and live here about this. I think that many think they should scrimp and do without so they can send more and they feel guilty about our (compared to Phils) indulgent and extravagant lifestyle here in the UK. This can lead to friction with a westernised husband who is used to being indulgent when it can be afforded.

Personally, I beleive that the only way round it is to set an affordable amount that you will send per month and stick to it and then when emergency requests come along, they should be considered firstly by affordability and then on merit.

I have read many threads on this forum where people have said they send what I consider huge amounts of money and I think that giving so much just leads to dependancy. Wherever possible you should offer help not support.

Iain.

A sound approach as far as I can see!!