We support the Wifes Bro and Sis and they think im a slave driver as i insist on good school and uni reports (i.e working to the best of their abilties) It was how i was brought up and although the children of my Wife family are brought up with love and good morals they do lack drive if someone just hands all they need on a silver platter.
I have to say at first I was going to let my wife just spoil her bro and sis but having been so lucky to be brought up by my wise parents who realised spoiling kids can affect them later on I suggested another way.
Every thing they need for good health and education is provided but treats and social things have to be earned though showing they were working hard. Even then the luxury goods would have to be value for money. Also some of the money i should have got for pocket money or birthdays etc was put away for me. (This resulted in me with my own savings buying my first flat outright) I hope to let this happen for my Wifes Bro and Sis and in the future my kids.
The wife at first was soft on them (i dont blame her at all), but now both the Wife and her little siblings see its done to help them have the future they deserve. Both have become far better pupils with out it affecting their wellbeing.
Giving money for the wrong reasons can destroy peoples lifes like others say by making them dependant on the money.
If someone paid me a several grand a week or more it would make me damm lazy as well
I have to stop the Wife sending over silly amounts, firstly we have our own core family needs, then the wife should see the benefits of her own labour and hardwork. Also i think its better to have savings for the normal reasons but in the case of a Phil-uk family as a emgency fund for those events which we all know well
Its a big issue which for us brits particularly people i guess like myself young, no kids with all the members of my family owning propety and doing ok for themselves i basically only had to look after myself.
So needs a lot of thought, discussion with agreement and understanding between all early on.
Originally Posted by andypaul
