serious question...

[Mrs Daddy]

yep,I am all agreeing to all of you.There`s no way that we can scape helping our family back home.One time when I was chatting to my sister in ym she was asking me of when to get a baby of my own and I have told her I have to halt that I dea as I was still in the process of supporting them. I thought of stopping to support them one day but as of now,I havent got any choices but one day it will happen...

[Mrs Daddy]

hi mrs daddy how r u na?
just read ur post now been busy preparing for my baby's christening

u have ur life now, its ok to help but u have to consider and prioritize ur family now. sometimes we just have to make tough decisions and sacrifices that will benefits all. Be happy always

Hi ann am doing fine thank youthanks for dropping by by the waygoodluck for your cute little angels christining

[Ann07]

Thanks for that mrsdaddy

Ur a good girl such a sacrifice u made for them.

[Mrs Daddy]

not that good really

[Ann07]

[benb]

Folks, my home is my house now and my family are my kids and wife in the future. The parents home (and country) is no longer my home. This applies to the wife too as soon as she is married.

This has to be made clear from the begining. I'm lucky that my wife feels the same way too.

Wife's family (i.e. parents and siblings) are still important, but its secondary now that she is married.

So all money sent to parents and siblings (not considered home anymore) will have to be out of good will rather than an obligation.

Cheers

[fhara]

hi to all...my bf helps a lot in my fam now but i agree on what he says that, charity begins at home..,coz we'r starting our new family now and money dont grows in trees..and we have to think of the future.. and its important to have limitations of everything coz if not,..they will not satisfy of what you gave.. godbless you all..

[Jay&Zobel]

Personally, I believe that the only way round it is to set an affordable amount that you will send per month and stick to it and then when emergency requests come along, they should be considered firstly by affordability and then on merit . We send support now on a monthly basis. I suspect that the reason the money ran out well before we were due to send more is because the extended family always come to them first for every family emergency because they know that their daughter is married to a Brit and is living in the UK. - IAIANBUSBY

I also believe, it helps when you give them the same amount each month. Send them in monthly basis so they know how to manage it properly. They will also know when you will send it and what you can afford . Thru these, they won’t be asking from you every now and then, making stories, alibies just for you to send the money. In your part, you will know how much you will need to set aside for them, for your groceries, other household expenses, extra luxuries and savings. You will also help them not to become “One day millionaire and forever a pauper.” Plus will give you&your hubby a peace of mind.

giving money for the wrong reasons can destroy peoples lifes like others say by making them dependant on the money.- ANDYPAUL

Very well said indeed!

you also deserve to save a bit of what you earn for yourself, but we should also realize when to stop, we filipinas married to brits should not put our family here in a position where we don't have money for our own needs.– MARIA&MATT

You have worked very hard and you must be the first person to enjoy the fruits of your labour. You have earned it so give something back to yourself. Huwag lang sila palagi. Respect yourself. Love yourself. By doing these things, you’ll feel great and you won’t feel tired of helping them. (But of course know your limits)

My brother once said, the reason why Filipinos are not progressing because we were raised to give something back to our parents (Sustento). And in other rich countries like UK, kids will have inheritance from their parent which is completely opposite to our culture. Which is PAY IT FORWARD THAN GIVE SOMETHING BACK.

Yes, we owe them our life but sometimes WE have to learn how to say NO and when to stop before things are out of hands.

According to Jose Rizal our national hero:
Ang hindi lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makararating sa parorounan.
(Knowing your past will provide you direction to the future.)

But my dad’s version:
You’ll never be able to go to your destination if you keep looking your back. Baka matisod ka. (you might tripped off) Hehe

Forgive me, for I don’t know how to multi-quote huhuhu, ive been a forum member for almost 2 yrs now but a noob! Doh!

[fhara]

[Mrs Daddy]

tnx every one and to you jayandzobel,,,well,I havent sending money every month really and I never wish to that as well but I am sending like big amount of money for me to be able to convert my parents house to a lodging house upstairs so that they could have an income and not be relying on me.as I do believe that if you want to help a hungry person you`ll not be helping her if you just keep on giving her a bread instead give her a seeds that could grow to a plant and get the product from there where they make the bread in that they could make a profit out of it and at the same time you just help them once.I hope it does make sense guys

[GaryFifer]

As my old dad says if u want something in life get of your ass and go work for it

[joebloggs]

As my old dad says if u want something in life get of your ass and go work for it

i think the word is GOYA

[GaryFifer]

Ang taong mapanaghili sa kayamana at ari, ay hindi luluwalhati sa hirap at sakit lalagi (he who is envious of other possession will always be in poverty and suffering)

Mamatay ng gutom na nakala'y mabuting higit sa aliping mataba
(it better to starve and be free than to be a fat slave)

[LEAHnew]

.....Forgive me, for I don’t know how to multi-quote huhuhu, ive been a forum member for almost 2 yrs now but a noob! Doh![/I][/B]

It's ok sis, in my case i discovered it accidentally
From the lower right of the post you will see the quote sign " and + sign if u will click the plus it will turn -, then do the same to the other post until u reach the last post u like to comment,then lastly click the word quote did i said it clear
i prefer telling it to u in tagalog

[Jay&Zobel]

It's ok sis, in my case i discovered it accidentally
From the lower right of the post you will see the quote sign " and + sign if u will click the plus it will turn -, then do the same to the other post until u reach the last post u like to comment,then lastly click the word quote did i said it clear
i prefer telling it to u in tagalog

Oh! hehe! Thank you so much!

[Jay&Zobel]

tnx every one and to you jayandzobel,,,well,I havent sending money every month really and I never wish to that as well but I am sending like big amount of money for me to be able to convert my parents house to a lodging house upstairs so that they could have an income and not be relying on me.as I do believe that if you want to help a hungry person you`ll not be helping her if you just keep on giving her a bread instead give her a seeds that could grow to a plant and get the product from there where they make the bread in that they could make a profit out of it and at the same time you just help them once.I hope it does make sense guys

You have missed telling us that information. But yeah, it is so nice of you to help them, to help themselves. So there is nothing to worry about. It was you who offered, so be it. All you have to do is let your hubby understand this situation. And don't ever think that helping them is such an obligation. Just enjoy that you are able to provide for your family.
I hope you take care!

[lizaphil]

same as my family,
they think we easy to got a money peaking in the trees,my hubby he dont want me to help my family,but he cant stop me because i have my own work
im making money im not asking him,so its better if you got your own work
and you can do spend what ever you want