Thanks for your remarks, cornwoman, and yes... I am indeed Cornish, as your husband is.
Some situations are simple, others not as simple, and some are not so simple. My lady's situation is of the latter type.
I've put a lot of effort into this relationship, and I believe that she has too. Whatever money I've put in was my own choice and is gone from me. End of story. I accept that and have no regrets about the money. If ever I feel that my efforts have been wasted, I shall post and say so for the benefit of those who come after me on these boards. What they choose to do about money is also their choice, but I say this much... if I had the foresight to join this board when our relationship started, my actions might well have been different. Still... water under the bridge, we can't go back, and time moves on.
Ken