The above article that began with the quote above was a fine understanding of how some Filipinas may feel.Originally Posted by ginapeterb
Commendable comments indeed
First class my man
The above article that began with the quote above was a fine understanding of how some Filipinas may feel.
Commendable comments indeed
First class my man
Your turn will come.......The above article that began with the quote above was a fine understanding of how some Filipinas may feel.
Commendable comments indeed
First class my man
trueYour turn will come.......
that was an interesting informed post from ginapeterb.
i now feel a little selfish for wanting my fiance to come here.
having said that theres a lot of good advice on offer here.
and i will bear it in mind when my fiance gets here ( i live in hope)
i think that pandering to the wifes tampo and swallowing pride,
job of some sort and familiarity seems to be the key.
If it wasn't for the fact that your instincts have been proved right quite a few times on this forum already Dom, I would laugh it off.Your turn will come.......
With this in mind, your comment makes me worried...
I just hope I will be able to act the goat if she gets upset.
I always feel that making oneself a complete and utter fool in times of crisis can often crack a smile and defuse a potential catastrophe
Yeah we are ok i think.
But she still sleeps a lot, i come home from work we have dinner and then she goes to bed.
I guess it's too early.......lets see how it goes.
Thanks for you advice Pete
Deck
Thank you for those who read my post, Filipina's often go through phases of tampo, surprise surprise, the tampo is often a cover up for mild displeasure, and there is always a smart way to handle it.
No matter what they do, or what they say, my advice is to move away from her, go into another room, just leave them, no matter how tempted you are to interfere, by cajoling them, don't !,
They need space, just leave them and go off and do something else, very often the tampo, will subside over time, time is the key, whatever happens, you tell them you love them, you tell them, Bow Bow baby, you do everything you can to remain calm, eventually an amazing transformation takes place.
They actually feel guilty, and then they realize, they have been bitchy, and selfish, and they start to internalize you in their own feelings.
Remember, Filipino culture is one of internalization of ones feelings, they will not always be comfortable with confrontation, so internalizing you within their own feelings often makes them feel guilty.
In time, you are making up, and everyone is back in love, and both of you are a winner, as I said, don't be over critical, and don't try to immediately jump in and ask them.
So What is the problem ?
So lets fix the problem, its option 1 option 2 or Option 3
Not just the Filipina, but all women both western and eastern don't paticularly want ready made solutions to their tampo, often its a call for help, a request to be listened to, and the root cause is nothing more, than a feeling of mild neglect, or a failure to understand their emotional state.
How many times have guys heard this....Love is the answer and you know that for sure.
Pete_Forum Moderator
Philippines marriage, Courtships, UK Entry Clearance
My missus never gets angry, she just goes off and polishes her machete
Keith - Administrator
She's settling in but is extemely bored during the day now while i'm at work.
Dont really know what to do
Oh
Deck
my opinion is why not enroll her for a short courseShe's settling in but is extemely bored during the day now while i'm at work.
Dont really know what to do
Oh
Deckthat maybe will help her a lil bit
to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...
Buy a dog. My missus used to give me no end of grief (especially at "that" time of month) not helped by the fact I work away as well. Got her a dog, we moved house so she's nearer shops (a bit extreme I know) and got her on this agnus catus natural tablets to balance out the hormones. 2 years later and things are better.
Also the wife has never made any friends here. We live in a small market town and she doesn't drive (hence moving house closer to shops). I know its hard for her but she does her best, she's a bit of a home body anyway.
I think you need to find something to occupy her time.
i agree, when my husband bought me a dog, i really dont care where he is anymore
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
Where are you located?, there may be one of the gang on here near by
Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy
if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!
We are in Ashby de la Zouch, Leicestershire. The centre of the known universe with the worst public transport network!!
Try to get out more! Teach her how to use public transport so that she is free to get out on her own when she wants to. Go for a walk or a drive. Find the nearest filipino shop and hang around for a while.
Hanging around at home in a strange country bringing up a child can be like a prison sentence.
Wow, Ashby is a bit off the beaten track, there is a good community in Coventry which have regular get togethers, not sure about Leiceter or Nottingham and there is a big gang here in Birmingham. Sorry I cannot help more. if you want to pop down to Birmingham one weekend just let me know in advance and we will meet up and let the wives natter
Scott
I hope things get better for you and your family
Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy
if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!
Thanks Guys.
We are based in Croydon.
What course did you enroll in.
Can't have a dog as we live in a flat above a pub, cant; ahve a cat as i hate them
Deck
Buy a snake....if she gets bored of it she can cook it
Can't have a dog as we live in a flat above a pub, cant; ahve a cat as i hate them
Deck
Keith - Administrator
VERY WELL SAID PETE!
You don’t have to worry too much. As what others have said, she is just missing everything in the Philippines. It is but natural. Just be patient and continue what you are doing: as a loving and very understanding husband.
Why not try short weekend breaks, bring her to nice countrysides/beaches/zoos if she is a nature lover, or visit London (and the likes) if she likes architecture, museums, and other historical places, watch Lion King too.
Feed her eyes - show Britain!
Eat traditional English breakfasts, a trip to your fave fish n chips - eat Britain!
Do these gradually, she will learn to love UK in time.
Do some of these things while the sun is still here, because during winter season, it can be very depressing, dull and very coldfor a new comer.
Cheers!
yes you right joesend her out to work, like i did with the misses
my misses is tooo tired to have a Tampo, kids wear her down when she's home, she has to goto bed early, and i can do what i want
i am knock down after my work home and bed 1hours bed then i dont have time
to have tampo,because i have rest,hehehe
yes you try to put in reading here on Filipino forum she ganna be enjoy
like we did
wife has no time for this forum, too busy
i would beif she knew about it
Poor woman I say!
She's only been here less than a week and you're expecting her to behave like her whole world hasn't changed dramatically!
In my womans opinion you need to give her a big break! She's likely feeling lonely (yes, even though she has you and her daughter!) and like a fish out of water.
I can tell you that in the 3 weeks I was in Phils visiting Bert I had to be treated pretty much like a child, and if I went there to live I'm sure I would need that kind of treatment for a lot longer than that.
I totally agree with what Pete has said above.
Give it time, love and patience and I'm sure it'll all work out
K xx
sometimes we filipinos should realize that we don't need to find filipinos in another country just to ease our boredom there's so many things to look forward, to enjoy life and to try different things. I am not saying not make friends with filipinos but my point is we don't go to abroad just find filipinos we're here to work or to be with your loveones then the rest will follow
True
Yarmouth? Oh dear .. you have my sympathies!
Scott
THanks for the offer. It has been a bit of a pain regarding where we live but I have an a aversion to city living - I is a country boy, likes my fields and trees. Still you pays your money and takes your chance.
Thanks guys for all your suggestions.
Unfortunately angry wife has got worse.
Her period is now over a week late
Last night while playing with my daughter, she fell and banged her head, she was ok but my wife came in and blasted me threw her wedding ring at me and has not spoken to me since.
Apart from telling me that she will be leaving.
I had asked her to join the forum but she is not interested.
On and on we go.................i'm not gonna give up on her........i love her too much for that.
TBC
Deck
Ok.
Two can play that game....
Just mention that You are sick and tired of the attitude, remind her of the wedding wows and if she suffers from selective memory you can call her bluff, tell her that, although you love her and will miss her terribly, you don't mind for her to go back to the Philippines, where she will feel happier, but your daughter stays with you in the UK.
I think I might have made some enemies with this post....
I have just sent something like that to her via text.
Lets wait for the fireworks
Deck
been reading this thread and wondering how things are after the text
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.
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