I can not imagine my wife leaving her son behind. I can't imagine not having him here. When we were there, the four of us (My wife and her son, and myself and my daughter) were like a family that had always been together. We are all looking forward to being together again.
I had to leave my two eldest kids in SA (they are totally independent) and that was hard, but for a mother to leave two young ones behind must be torture for her.
I hope that a way is found for them to join you, no matter what she knew would happen before the marriage took place, no matter what choices she had to make and why, I think those kids are as part of your family as is your own child, and the whole family would benefit from being together.
Finances can always be worked out, it is surprising how much we spend in the UK on things we don't need, but just think we want, it doesn't take that many cut backs to feed and look after a couple of extra kids, the pleasures of having a united family must surely outweigh a few missed non-essentilals.
