Angry Wife :(

[Geraldine]

Oh dear..I wonder whats wrong with her for treating you like that? Was she like that before? ...now you are living together you will discover lots of things, good and bad unfortunately.

Give her time to adjust 1-2 months maybe, she might be just homesick, bored and of course no friends to talk or take her out somewhere. She might be doing that 'tampo' but it doesnt really work with some men, like my husband i used to make 'tampo' and it will last for days that i dont talk to him. Then i realized that he hasn't got a clue that im in a 'tampo mode' the lesson...communication! If something bothers both of you, talk about it before it gets really serious.

With house chores, I suggest you both do your share. Talk to her that you can not do everything, specially if you are working. Its hard at first and I hope you both will sort it out.

[Piamed]

Hi there,

I think we have all experienced Tampo of some sort of other.

My wife currently has a serious mood on her.

She and my daughter arrived last Tuesday and we have a great time since their arrival.

However within the last couple of days she has been sleeping really excessively, now i know, i'm probably being unreasonable here as she is still trying to adjust, although i would have thought jet lag would have subsided by now.

I am not a sexist barsteward, infact i enjoy cooking etc and as i am on leave i have been helping out, we are a partnership afterall.

This morning my wife asked me to cook breakkie no worries, the dishes sat all day and she never made an attempt to do them.

Well she flipped i'm not your slave etc etc, i have been cleaning since i got here, cant i have a lazy day.
I repleid in kind with all you have done is sleep since you hot here.
She now doesnt want to look at me and is cleaning every nook and crannie to prove a point to me i think

Sorry 2 air my laundry, but dont really know how to play this as when i go near me she has a fit

Help

Deck

Hey Deck, it does seem unusual that she is displaying no interest in tidying. he could be tired but i think most would have made an effort, even if you insist that she rests instead. Could be pregnant but i think fatigue is more likely rather than laziness.

Well she has benn encamped in the living room all night away from me.

I am in the computer room and what she doesn't realise is that i could stay here for days coz i am a saddo

Anyway i plated up and brought it into her, dont know how she knew i was coming but we passed in the corridor i said "here's some dinner if you want it, if not dont eat it"
She casually glanced at it and went to bed...................oh bugger.

Its still in the living room waiting for her

Seems that you might have been a bit kurt with her. Not necessarily unreasonably but she could be seeking your attention, and a show of care perhaps.

She might be doing that 'tampo' but it doesnt really work with some men, like my husband i used to make 'tampo' and it will last for days that i dont talk to him. Then i realized that he hasn't got a clue that im in a 'tampo mode'

That's funny!

[deckard97f]

Well we are talking again

She has told me she is really bored and has nobody to talk to.

I ahve told her to read a book go on the net whatch Tv watch a movie i have loads of DVD's play a computer game.

She doesn't want to do any of these things she wants a friend to talk to.

What do filipinos wives do to pass the time?

Deck

[scott&ligaya]

They need to have "tong tong" as often as possible ie talking/gossiping to other filipinas just to be happy. I will try to explain it like this. When we go home to my honeys farm we have to walk the last 1/2 mile. It should take 10/15 mins but usually takes over an hour as she has to stop and catch up with several months goings on with every house we pass, if only they could just pass each other a memory stick for uploads/downloads. How bad does it get? another example we meet up with her sister in Hong Kong where we used to live after a short trip away and they talk for 2 hours. We take the ferry home to our place (total time gap less than 1 hour) and she then spends a further 1 hour on the phone..... I mean what new could happen in one hour. My wife is at home with our baby and most of the filipinas we have met are working nurses either on days or night shift so are not available for chatting during the day so even with a new baby to look after she gets bored. She is now going to a mother and baby group one afternoon and to mums/baby swim session on another to break up the week.

This boredom is not easy to solve and I suggest if she is church goer try to find a locsl church for her as she may well meet other filipinas there.


Good luck to both of you and I hope she settles. My ligaya still misses her friends a lot

[KeithD]

You could start by putting her on the forum

Many on here talk on the phone, chat rooms, etc

[IainBusby]

Well we are talking again

She has told me she is really bored and has nobody to talk to.

I ahve told her to read a book go on the net whatch Tv watch a movie i have loads of DVD's play a computer game.

She doesn't want to do any of these things she wants a friend to talk to.

What do filipinos wives do to pass the time?

Deck

I don't think that Filipina's can get by and be happy in the UK for long if they don't have contact with other Filipina's. I think you should try to help her to make contact with other Filipina's she can chat to, either on Yahoo or on the phone and I don't think you'll find a better place to do that than on this forum. Is she a member of this forum btw? If not I think you'de be wise to get her registered.

I've got to say I can hardly remember the last time a day went by in our house when I didn't hear my wife jabbering away in Bisaya to one Filipina or other, or chatting online with Filipina freinds and I don't think she could get by without this daily catch up.

Iain.

[amyburple]

Well we are talking again

She has told me she is really bored and has nobody to talk to.

I ahve told her to read a book go on the net whatch Tv watch a movie i have loads of DVD's play a computer game.

She doesn't want to do any of these things she wants a friend to talk to.

What do filipinos wives do to pass the time?

Deck

GOOD thing that you talked again hehehe... I hope i will not get bored if I'm there too soon hehehehe... It's OK FORUM is here...

[scott&ligaya]

I think we all made suggestions already but to summarise

church if she is church goer the catholic churh willalmost certainly have filipinas as do other churches

mothers/toddlers groups

register her at you doctors, they will suggest other mother/child groups

Your local general hospital will have filipino nurses(some male ones who have wives/families here) as the female ones work so hard your wife will not have much chance to met with them.

I will contact a work colleague here who is the boss of the filipino association here in Bham, he may have contacts of groups in other towns


Find your nearest large asian food store and visit on a Saturday(threads here on that subject)


Post here again in the introduce yourself forum and explain that you are in Croydon and looking for female company for your wife


Go to your nearest large mall, visit the foodcourt and nearly always there will be at least one fiipina either on one of the service counters or just taking a break from her shopping!!!!



Your wife really needs to take a little bit of initiative and just wander down to your local shop, if she has a smile anything like my asawa's then she will easily get talking and making friends

keep supporting her, as many have said it is a huge change for her but as Dom has also advised occasionally you may need to just stand up for yourself and remind her that she CHOSE you and CHOSE to come to the UK

GOOD LUCK