Different culture though...or is it? How many 'split' families do we have in the UK? 10,000's.Originally Posted by gary2jessica
Anyway, leaving kids behind in the Phil with family is 'normal', just look at how many mothers work oversea's alone....10,000's. As long as they have contact, it is not usually a problem.
Keith - Administrator
I also agree with much of what has been said. But I will draw our attention to the fact that the wife accepted the terms and I suspect was not strong armed into the marriage and coming here. Any responsibility for the current predicament should perhaps at best be shared.
I totally agree with Pete (as usual) that he is the man and should assume the leadership position but surely as the mother with the primary responsibility for the kids she should have weighed up the constraints with their interests in mind. Perhaps she did and that is why she is here.
Anyway, moving forward:
There are certainly Govenment benefits to be had but things will still be hard but as long as all parties are committed to working things out constructively then all should be well. The wife should not be blaming her husband and vice versa.
Good luck to you!
Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
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I can not imagine my wife leaving her son behind. I can't imagine not having him here. When we were there, the four of us (My wife and her son, and myself and my daughter) were like a family that had always been together. We are all looking forward to being together again.
I had to leave my two eldest kids in SA (they are totally independent) and that was hard, but for a mother to leave two young ones behind must be torture for her.
I hope that a way is found for them to join you, no matter what she knew would happen before the marriage took place, no matter what choices she had to make and why, I think those kids are as part of your family as is your own child, and the whole family would benefit from being together.
Finances can always be worked out, it is surprising how much we spend in the UK on things we don't need, but just think we want, it doesn't take that many cut backs to feed and look after a couple of extra kids, the pleasures of having a united family must surely outweigh a few missed non-essentilals.
I agree.
my stepson couldn't wait to go back to the phils, he was virtually begging to go back to his aunt, friends and sunny weather
it depends on how old the kids are, what their family life is like in the phils, but if their young I'm sure they would miss their mom, as much as theit mom misses them
you would be able to get child benefit, and maybe tax creds depending on your income.
All of us here (Filipinas) who got married to a briton has loveones that have left behind in the Philippines either son/daughter/parents/friends family and relatives the fact that it is the biggest sacrifice we have all made just to be with the man we chooses to live with for the rest of our life but that's how it all goes for anyone who decide for it to come over here...But the the world has now the best technology way of communication just like the Internet...for sure anyone who had been somehow separated by distance and time will be reunited once and again....in the right time.
Filipina a born survivor!
My step daughter is 12. How olds yours?How did your stepson cope when he was here Joe?my stepson couldn't wait to go back to the phils, he was virtually begging to go back to his aunt, friends and sunny weather
it depends on how old the kids are, what their family life is like in the phils, but if their young I'm sure they would miss their mom, as much as theit mom misses them
you would be able to get child benefit, and maybe tax creds depending on your income.
he was 17 1/2, got him here b4 he was 18, after 18 its a lot harder to get them here, he missed his friends too much.. we kept him here long enough to get him ilr. then let him go back to uni in the phils. didn't like being here that much, he was always counting the days to go back.
but our daughter who's 8 now, came to the uk when she was 4 1/2, no longer speaks tag, is doing well at school, and the uk is her home.
what worries my misses is when our daughter is older , she will get bullied for being a foreigner. told her to take her back to learning Taekwondo
he was 17 1/2, got him here b4 he was 18, after 18 its a lot harder to get them here, he missed his friends too much.. we kept him here long enough to get him ilr. then let him go back to uni in the phils. didn't like being here that much, he was always counting the days to go back
TEENS...
but our daughter who's 8 now, came to the uk when she was 4 1/2, no longer speaks tag, is doing well at school, and the uk is her home.
what worries my misses is when our daughter is older , she will get bullied for being a foreigner. told her to take her back to learning Taekwondo
Tell her not to worry, coz UK is a multi cultural country...
Strange he'd want to go to PI university when so much things have been discovered here and our education system is good. You'd think he take the opportunity here and THEN go back to his country to do some good.
well he missed his friends, his girl friend, sunny weather, maybe also because he was looking after little joe for 5hrs aday, might have had something to do with it to
well as he has ilr we'll get him back here b4 his 2yrs out of the uk are up, he wants to finish uni b4 coming back to the uk permanently.
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