Advice Please

[iauh]

Hello

I am new to this site so i dont know what to expect but i was wondering if anybody has any advice for me.

The reason for me being on here is that i have just had a really long term girl friend break up with me. We were together for 5 1/2 years, we got together when i was 17 she was 16. We went to university together where we did have soem problems, but we came out the other side and were the best we had ever been. She inherited a lot of money from her godfather and decided to go on a gap year, 9 months all around the world, something she as always wanted to do. Anyway when she left she didnt want to go cos she was going to miss me, i mean we really were both in love. she left and we spoke on the phone every week texted and facebooked each other all the time, 5 months in i went out to thailand to visit her, i had the most amazin time and i was sure that it was the same for her havin me back (i was wrong) i left thiland and she only had 3 months left, not long now she kept sayin.

Anyway 2 weeks before see is due to get back, she rings up and breaks up with me she says that she just wanted to be alone cos she has love travelin so much and want to be able to continue her life the way she want to. and there was nothing i could do about it.

Since she has been back she has completly changed her life, she very rearly see any of her friends stays completly away from her life pre traveling.

And then it turns out that she has moved to south ******* hampton and moving in with a much older guy that she met in the last 2 months of her travels. i mean what an insult to keep your 5 1/2 year long boyfriend waiting for her whilst she had the time of her life for nearly a year and then to do this. and all she says is that it is what she wants, no care for what she asked of me.

I have been an emotional wreak, its 5 months down the line now and im going to councilors, am on anti depressents cant sleep, eat, or concentrate on anything but her.

What do i do, she says there is no way she will ever love me again, nor would she ever want to get back together. I dont know how to stop loving her, i had soo much trust in her, i could not have trusted her more, i was never worried about her meetin anybody or anything.

Bottom line if you are in a realtionship and you are both in love do not let them go away from you cos they wont come back.

Sorry for such a long post, but if anyone has any advice or points they want to say they would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

[ginapeterb]

Not sure whether your story is about British or Filipino relationship issues, you don't tell us this, it sounds to me that your girl has simply met someone else at the far side of the world, its tragic, but sadly happens.

Relationships break up every day of the week for a variety of reason's the least you could expect from her is a frank and full disclosure of what happened.

But if not, take some time out to examine your life plan, and then move on as quickly as you can without let or hindrance, pining for her will make you feel worse, it will take time, maybe 2-3 months but eventually, you will move on, trust me on this, I did exactly the same 4 years ago, now I am married, and happy again.

[maria_and_matt]

hey i am so sorry to hear about your ex. i am sure life pretty much sucks right now but you have your whole life ahead of you. go out, meet some people and have fun. things will get better probably not soon enough but give it time, keep busy. i hope things will work out for you.

[USA]

Dude,this is probably one of the best things that ever happened to you in your entire life!
Congrats! Now you have the opportunity to get yourself a better woman.
My only advice is dont just settle, with like the first thing that comes along then wind up sorry a few years later(sound familiar?)like I did in my early 20s.It cost me 71/2 years and what a waste it was.

[Alan]

USA's comment is frank, strong and, in my opinion, very correct!
You now are free to find another - think of that - the world is now your oyster.

My ex and I lived together for 16 years, then, quite suddenly, she decided to trade me in for a newer model. I was devastated - thought the world had ended - went through all the things you have been through (and are going through.)

Five years later I found the girl who is now my wife - and I wish I had found her years ago!! She is the best thing to happen to me (apart from my kids,) and I wouldn't swap her for the world (Well, maybe for a free Oldham Athletic season ticket!)

Stick it out friend, most of us have been through it and got the same t-shirt.
Good luck to you.

Al.

[aromulus]

I thought for a long time that my world ended with divorce.

But slowly I came to realize that it was the beginning of a new life.

Never mind her, get out of your shell, before misery and real sadness set in.

Enjoy life, don't be in a hurry, you are still young, sooner or later something much better will come to share life with you.
You will be left wondering what all the fuss was about, and the old flame gone and forgotten for ever.

Wake up and smell the coffee....... It is a new morning.

[PAT]

sorry to hear your story iauh, its really hurting but the sooner you accept the situation the sooner you move on. Follow the advices given to you. You will find a right woman who will stay with your side forever

[vbkelly]

Hello

I am new to this site so i dont know what to expect but i was wondering if anybody has any advice for me.

The reason for me being on here is that i have just had a really long term girl friend break up with me. We were together for 5 1/2 years, we got together when i was 17 she was 16. We went to university together where we did have soem problems, but we came out the other side and were the best we had ever been. She inherited a lot of money from her godfather and decided to go on a gap year, 9 months all around the world, something she as always wanted to do. Anyway when she left she didnt want to go cos she was going to miss me, i mean we really were both in love. she left and we spoke on the phone every week texted and facebooked each other all the time, 5 months in i went out to thailand to visit her, i had the most amazin time and i was sure that it was the same for her havin me back (i was wrong) i left thiland and she only had 3 months left, not long now she kept sayin.

Anyway 2 weeks before see is due to get back, she rings up and breaks up with me she says that she just wanted to be alone cos she has love travelin so much and want to be able to continue her life the way she want to. and there was nothing i could do about it.

Since she has been back she has completly changed her life, she very rearly see any of her friends stays completly away from her life pre traveling.

And then it turns out that she has moved to south ******* hampton and moving in with a much older guy that she met in the last 2 months of her travels. i mean what an insult to keep your 5 1/2 year long boyfriend waiting for her whilst she had the time of her life for nearly a year and then to do this. and all she says is that it is what she wants, no care for what she asked of me.

I have been an emotional wreak, its 5 months down the line now and im going to councilors, am on anti depressents cant sleep, eat, or concentrate on anything but her.

What do i do, she says there is no way she will ever love me again, nor would she ever want to get back together. I dont know how to stop loving her, i had soo much trust in her, i could not have trusted her more, i was never worried about her meetin anybody or anything.

Bottom line if you are in a realtionship and you are both in love do not let them go away from you cos they wont come back.

Sorry for such a long post, but if anyone has any advice or points they want to say they would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

im sorry to hear this sad story from you, what i can say is let her go and enjoy your life show to her that your happy and you can move on

[demlyn888]

show her there is someone out there more deserving and much better than her. you really need to try and move on cos your situation wont change if you dont act and sort yourself out...

[Ana_may365]

i feel sorry to hear about ur sad story,but im sure that ur gf is not a filipina!move on! ur still young,u can find a better that her,believe me

[aposhark]

Hello

I am new to this site so i dont know what to expect but i was wondering if anybody has any advice for me.

The reason for me being on here is that i have just had a really long term girl friend break up with me. We were together for 5 1/2 years, we got together when i was 17 she was 16. We went to university together where we did have soem problems, but we came out the other side and were the best we had ever been. She inherited a lot of money from her godfather and decided to go on a gap year, 9 months all around the world, something she as always wanted to do. Anyway when she left she didnt want to go cos she was going to miss me, i mean we really were both in love. she left and we spoke on the phone every week texted and facebooked each other all the time, 5 months in i went out to thailand to visit her, i had the most amazin time and i was sure that it was the same for her havin me back (i was wrong) i left thiland and she only had 3 months left, not long now she kept sayin.

Anyway 2 weeks before see is due to get back, she rings up and breaks up with me she says that she just wanted to be alone cos she has love travelin so much and want to be able to continue her life the way she want to. and there was nothing i could do about it.

Since she has been back she has completly changed her life, she very rearly see any of her friends stays completly away from her life pre traveling.

And then it turns out that she has moved to south ******* hampton and moving in with a much older guy that she met in the last 2 months of her travels. i mean what an insult to keep your 5 1/2 year long boyfriend waiting for her whilst she had the time of her life for nearly a year and then to do this. and all she says is that it is what she wants, no care for what she asked of me.

I have been an emotional wreak, its 5 months down the line now and im going to councilors, am on anti depressents cant sleep, eat, or concentrate on anything but her.

What do i do, she says there is no way she will ever love me again, nor would she ever want to get back together. I dont know how to stop loving her, i had soo much trust in her, i could not have trusted her more, i was never worried about her meetin anybody or anything.

Bottom line if you are in a realtionship and you are both in love do not let them go away from you cos they wont come back.

Sorry for such a long post, but if anyone has any advice or points they want to say they would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Sorry you seem in so much pain.
We have all been there.
It is part of life and it may not make much sense now but time really does heal things and you WILL find somebody more worthy for you.
Don't expect things to change overnight, but one day you will wake up and say to yourself "that was a lucky escape".
Best of luck and try to be positive as much as possible

[jackmac452]

Sorry to read of your predicament...I empathise with you as it happened to me...a long time ago....But everything that happens... has a reason why....maybe you were clearing the decks for a wonderful person to come in to your life ?? that also does happen....I should know..it happened to me...and I'm nothing special....I'm sure that the right person is just waiting for the right moment.. to come along....and then you can smile about all this unhappiness that you are feeling right now....mei wenti my friend...it'll be alright in the end..mark my words.....

[jbt]

hi iauh,

It is so sad to know when a relationship ends esp. if you've been together for long but in every ending there's a new beginning.

"Try again. Fail again. Fail better. Some defeats are only installments to
Victory"

Goodluck and thank you for sharing w/us your story, at the right time, your heart will be whole again, just be strong.

all the best.

[eljean]

Time heals all wounds...just be strong its ok to cry it won't do harm but it helps you empty your feelings and lessen the pain...just think about it...that it happens for a reason and also if she thinks you weren't the one for her let it be...maybe you weren't meant to be...some couples broke up 5,10,20,30 years together if the other one falls out of love...the person that is called the one is the one that is with you in the end of the line...go travel and discover life if you can...discover your self and be surprise for what is waiting ahead for you...

Cry until you bleed,Bleed until you Mend,and Mend until you fall in Love again...

[mafetsferrer]

I feel sorry about what happened but I guess she doesn't deserve a faithful man like you. Be strong and live not for her but for yourself! I know its really painful but try not to dwell on the emotion coz nothings gonna happen if would think of the pain.. think of something positive.. there's more to life than this..do not waste time thinking of the pain but move while allowing time to heal the pain. But most of all healing comes from God.. take time to pray and think that God rewards faithful people.. when He takes away something.. probably He takes away what is not best. Be strong! Live!