I live in the UK through choice.

We made a choice that my daughter would have a better chance in life if we moved to the UK.

In 2002 we sold our house, gave up everything we had worked for, and arrived in the UK with 3 suitcaes, We were fortunate that we had some money, but with the collapse of the rand at the end of 2001, it was a start and a deposit on a house, but that was all.

In March/April 2006, were were saying we had got to where we wanted to be, and were looking forward to starting to fully enjoy life. That came to a very abrupt end in May 2006 when my wife was told she had cancer, and was given a few months to live (though she wasn't told that, and she did not ask)

The hospital treatments, help from church members, help from my work (I stayed at home with her for the whole time), the help from everyone around was incredible.
Don't judge the English by their everyday actions, when there is a problem they are there to help.

During the time shortly after my wife's death, I was tempted on a number of occasions to pack up in the UK and return to South Africa. The maqin reason I did not was I weould have wasted what my wife gave up when she left her country to come to the UK.
I would have had friends and family around, but what problems would that have solved? It would have been nice for the first few weeks, but all the challenges of life would have still been there.

For similar reasons, I don't think moving countries will make a marriage better, or solve any problems, it will just move the same problems to a different place.

I have seem many South Africans feel very unhappy in the UK, then they move somewhere else, and are still unhappy. Generally the ones who are happiest are the ones who make the best of what they have, and appreciate they can not have their home country an British living at the same time


How do you adjust? I dont know. It too my daughter and I one day to adjust to the Philippines, but after nearly sixeeks back in the UK, neither of uf have adjusted back to the UK fully yet.

AND THIS ic the biggest worry I have when my wife and her son join us here from the Philippines. If I had money to live, I could easily give up all the conveniences and so called civilisation we have here to live in the Philippines. Will she be able to give up the Philippines for a few worthles material things??? I hope that our marriage and our desire to spend our lives together will be the decider!!