Right of the exsss

[IainBusby]

I am afraid that the ex wife can dictate as and when access is allowed.

Wether they have equal rights or not doesn't come into the equation at all, as I found out at the cost of hurt feelings. And also financially.
As the ex has custody, she will be able to determine if the ex hubby can be able to see the kids.

I haven't been able to have or see my two younger ones since october last year.
She also managed to poison their young minds against me and Jet.

There you go.......

As I could forsee that my situation would become very similar to your own Dom, when I split up with my ex, so I decided that rather than put my son, then 7yrs old and myself through all of that pain and hassle, that I would not attempt to have any contact with him at all.

I figured that he would probably hate me for this, but I really didn't want him to be piggy in the middle and be used by his mother to hurt me.

I still have never seen him in the flesh from then to this day, but just recently he managed to get in touch, intially with my other grown up son who he managed to contact through myspace. He now lives in Albany N.Y. and he is 17 years old. Were now communicating regularly through myspace and yahoo messenger and both looking forward to seeing each other again some day.

The other really nice thing about it all is that he is also in contact with both his step-brother, step-sister and all of his uncles and aunts on this side of the pond again.
Iain.

[telford]

As I could forsee that my situation would become very similar to your own Dom, when I split up with my ex, so I decided that rather than put my son, then 7yrs old and myself through all of that pain and hassle, that I would not attempt to have any contact with him at all.

I figured that he would probably hate me for this, but I really didn't want him to be piggy in the middle and be used by his mother to hurt me.

I still have never seen him in the flesh from then to this day, but just recently he managed to get in touch, intially with my other grown up son who he managed to contact through myspace. He now lives in Albany N.Y. and he is 17 years old. Were now communicating regularly through myspace and yahoo messenger and both looking forward to seeing each other again some day.

The other really nice thing about it all is that he is also in contact with both his step-brother, step-sister and all of his uncles and aunts on this side of the pond again.
Iain.

wow...youre so lucky! congrtas... well,thats what I was thinking also, if the ex will use your child against you, one day the child will really look for their father wether their mom will allow it or not.

[maria_and_matt]

my situations different, when my first husband and i divorced i had to leave my son to his dad coz i had nowhere to go, the court then decided that we should have shared 50-50 access but gave residency to his dad coz of his fear that i would take our son back home to the philippines, this 50-50 access went on till my son was 14, but his father used my son to hurt me alot. he told our son stories of how bad i was, my son did not believe a word he said tho and throughout te years my son built up all this hatred towards his dad and when he turned 14 he then left his dad and stayed with me full time. he has not seen his dad for over a year now.
both parents i found has parental responsibility, and if you are willing to fight for access you will get it. i had to go to court for access issues over the years when my ex has been unreasonable, and the courts have heard my case in a fair way.
i think bottom line is exes who use their kids to get back to an ex partner only makes the child suffer and in the end when the child is old enough things can go horribly wrong for the parent who controlled the access.
i never stopped fighting for my son, and now he i so happy with me and his step dad.
hope things work out for your husband. good luck

[andypaul]

my situations different, when my first husband and i divorced i had to leave my son to his dad coz i had nowhere to go, the court then decided that we should have shared 50-50 access but gave residency to his dad coz of his fear that i would take our son back home to the philippines, this 50-50 access went on till my son was 14, but his father used my son to hurt me alot. he told our son stories of how bad i was, my son did not believe a word he said tho and throughout te years my son built up all this hatred towards his dad and when he turned 14 he then left his dad and stayed with me full time. he has not seen his dad for over a year now.
both parents i found has parental responsibility, and if you are willing to fight for access you will get it. i had to go to court for access issues over the years when my ex has been unreasonable, and the courts have heard my case in a fair way.
i think bottom line is exes who use their kids to get back to an ex partner only makes the child suffer and in the end when the child is old enough things can go horribly wrong for the parent who controlled the access.
i never stopped fighting for my son, and now he i so happy with me and his step dad.
hope things work out for your husband. good luck

Very true so far i have not experienced anything like this (well never been married before) but i would rather the Children were Happy than either Myself or the Mother. As we were the two who would of mucked it up, i rarely hearing of children making adults divorce one another.

[flomike]

I would say that I am lucky that I don't have a problem with my husband ex-wife (they've been 7 years divorced when I met him). With their daughter (23 y/o now) my husband said his first priority that time is to make sure they're daughter will live a normal life as much as possible and I am so proud with my husband bec his daughter is very well mannered and educated and they are really close as a father and daughter.

[Ann07]

Hi grace how are you na and family?

Never exp that, but in my opinion if the x is using the child ,she is just so selfish, incosiderate etc.. Dont let your family suffer just because of her personal agenda towards ur husband. Be still....Goodluck dai

[amyburple]

Yea my hubby is telling his sentiments regarding with his kids... Sometimes his EX will txt him surprisingly and demand that this week it should be the kids will be there and then sometimes If my hubby wants that this week the kids will be in his home but the EX will not allow them bla bla bla like that...

My hubby never CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS together with his kids ...

I guess those EXESS still have those BAD feelings towards their HUSBAND especially. WHY NOT MOVE ON!!!!!!!