Right of the exsss

[telford]

Happy weekend everybody!
I just have some question about the right of ex-wife,regarding to their child with your partner. Is she still have the right to dictate their ex on when and how are they going to see their child? I mean, do the father here have no equal right to their child? I thought that as a parent,you should have equal right on making decisions for your child. And my other question is, what are the possibilities that the ex can restrict the partner of seeing their child?

[aromulus]

Happy weekend everybody!
I just have some question about the right of ex-wife,regarding to their child with your partner. Is she still have the right to dictate their ex on when and how are they going to see their child? I mean, do the father here have no equal right to their child? I thought that as a parent,you should have equal right on making decisions for your child. And my other question is, what are the possibilities that the ex can restrict the partner of seeing their child?

I am afraid that the ex wife can dictate as and when access is allowed.

Wether they have equal rights or not doesn't come into the equation at all, as I found out at the cost of hurt feelings. And also financially.
As the ex has custody, she will be able to determine if the ex hubby can be able to see the kids.

I haven't been able to have or see my two younger ones since october last year.
She also managed to poison their young minds against me and Jet.

There you go.......

[telford]

I am afraid that the ex wife can dictate as and when access is allowed.

Wether they have equal rights or not doesn't come into the equation at all, as I found out at the cost of hurt feelings. And also financially.
As the ex has custody, she will be able to determine if the ex hubby can be able to see the kids.

I haven't been able to have or see my two younger ones since october last year.
She also managed to poison their young minds against me and Jet.

There you go.......

But I think what she did is just depriving their child's happiness and right as well. I cant understand the mentality of a person that make a decision like that. Before the present wife came to their life, she have all the right and opportunity to make decisions for them but not now that they have separate lives already. For me, the ex is not only make u punishments but the child as well.

[aromulus]

the ex is not only make u punishments but the child as well.

It is called being bitter and vengeful....

Instead of moving on, most divorced women in the West, seem to dwell in a paranoid past.

They start divorce proceedings, they get the divorce, and after years they still, in a way, dominate your life and want to dictate about your future.

In a sense.... They don't want you anymore, but at the same time they don't want anybody else to have you... Or for you to find new happiness.

[IainBusby]

I am afraid that the ex wife can dictate as and when access is allowed.

Wether they have equal rights or not doesn't come into the equation at all, as I found out at the cost of hurt feelings. And also financially.
As the ex has custody, she will be able to determine if the ex hubby can be able to see the kids.

I haven't been able to have or see my two younger ones since october last year.
She also managed to poison their young minds against me and Jet.

There you go.......

As I could forsee that my situation would become very similar to your own Dom, when I split up with my ex, so I decided that rather than put my son, then 7yrs old and myself through all of that pain and hassle, that I would not attempt to have any contact with him at all.

I figured that he would probably hate me for this, but I really didn't want him to be piggy in the middle and be used by his mother to hurt me.

I still have never seen him in the flesh from then to this day, but just recently he managed to get in touch, intially with my other grown up son who he managed to contact through myspace. He now lives in Albany N.Y. and he is 17 years old. Were now communicating regularly through myspace and yahoo messenger and both looking forward to seeing each other again some day.

The other really nice thing about it all is that he is also in contact with both his step-brother, step-sister and all of his uncles and aunts on this side of the pond again.
Iain.

[telford]

It is called being bitter and vengeful....

Instead of moving on, most divorced women in the West, seem to dwell in a paranoid past.

They start divorce proceedings, they get the divorce, and after years they still, in a way, dominate your life and want to dictate about your future.

In a sense.... They don't want you anymore, but at the same time they don't want anybody else to have you... Or for you to find new happiness.

well, to my husband ex, she got a wrong person,coz no matter what happen I will not allow anybody to hurt my husband and my baby. I will fight for them, by hook or by crook...and I WILL NEVER allow anyone to dominate us especially not her.
Pinay ata to....

[telford]

As I could forsee that my situation would become very similar to your own Dom, when I split up with my ex, so I decided that rather than put my son, then 7yrs old and myself through all of that pain and hassle, that I would not attempt to have any contact with him at all.

I figured that he would probably hate me for this, but I really didn't want him to be piggy in the middle and be used by his mother to hurt me.

I still have never seen him in the flesh from then to this day, but just recently he managed to get in touch, intially with my other grown up son who he managed to contact through myspace. He now lives in Albany N.Y. and he is 17 years old. Were now communicating regularly through myspace and yahoo messenger and both looking forward to seeing each other again some day.

The other really nice thing about it all is that he is also in contact with both his step-brother, step-sister and all of his uncles and aunts on this side of the pond again.
Iain.

wow...youre so lucky! congrtas... well,thats what I was thinking also, if the ex will use your child against you, one day the child will really look for their father wether their mom will allow it or not.

[maria_and_matt]

my situations different, when my first husband and i divorced i had to leave my son to his dad coz i had nowhere to go, the court then decided that we should have shared 50-50 access but gave residency to his dad coz of his fear that i would take our son back home to the philippines, this 50-50 access went on till my son was 14, but his father used my son to hurt me alot. he told our son stories of how bad i was, my son did not believe a word he said tho and throughout te years my son built up all this hatred towards his dad and when he turned 14 he then left his dad and stayed with me full time. he has not seen his dad for over a year now.
both parents i found has parental responsibility, and if you are willing to fight for access you will get it. i had to go to court for access issues over the years when my ex has been unreasonable, and the courts have heard my case in a fair way.
i think bottom line is exes who use their kids to get back to an ex partner only makes the child suffer and in the end when the child is old enough things can go horribly wrong for the parent who controlled the access.
i never stopped fighting for my son, and now he i so happy with me and his step dad.
hope things work out for your husband. good luck

[andypaul]

my situations different, when my first husband and i divorced i had to leave my son to his dad coz i had nowhere to go, the court then decided that we should have shared 50-50 access but gave residency to his dad coz of his fear that i would take our son back home to the philippines, this 50-50 access went on till my son was 14, but his father used my son to hurt me alot. he told our son stories of how bad i was, my son did not believe a word he said tho and throughout te years my son built up all this hatred towards his dad and when he turned 14 he then left his dad and stayed with me full time. he has not seen his dad for over a year now.
both parents i found has parental responsibility, and if you are willing to fight for access you will get it. i had to go to court for access issues over the years when my ex has been unreasonable, and the courts have heard my case in a fair way.
i think bottom line is exes who use their kids to get back to an ex partner only makes the child suffer and in the end when the child is old enough things can go horribly wrong for the parent who controlled the access.
i never stopped fighting for my son, and now he i so happy with me and his step dad.
hope things work out for your husband. good luck

Very true so far i have not experienced anything like this (well never been married before) but i would rather the Children were Happy than either Myself or the Mother. As we were the two who would of mucked it up, i rarely hearing of children making adults divorce one another.

[flomike]

I would say that I am lucky that I don't have a problem with my husband ex-wife (they've been 7 years divorced when I met him). With their daughter (23 y/o now) my husband said his first priority that time is to make sure they're daughter will live a normal life as much as possible and I am so proud with my husband bec his daughter is very well mannered and educated and they are really close as a father and daughter.

[Ann07]

Hi grace how are you na and family?

Never exp that, but in my opinion if the x is using the child ,she is just so selfish, incosiderate etc.. Dont let your family suffer just because of her personal agenda towards ur husband. Be still....Goodluck dai

[amyburple]

Yea my hubby is telling his sentiments regarding with his kids... Sometimes his EX will txt him surprisingly and demand that this week it should be the kids will be there and then sometimes If my hubby wants that this week the kids will be in his home but the EX will not allow them bla bla bla like that...

My hubby never CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS together with his kids ...

I guess those EXESS still have those BAD feelings towards their HUSBAND especially. WHY NOT MOVE ON!!!!!!!

[marylen]

I never experiencing handling such kind of difficult situation yet as of a moment (opssssssssssss....not mean that am hoping, surely not! ) although my husband is a divorce man as well same as mostly on here but to the fact that I haven't had any arguments regarding between me-husband towards his ex.

Yet...am not closing my door to open any possibilities regarding all the stuff related to their past which am fully aware that it should be the right way indeed. I can maybe say because all of his children from his previous marriage became truly close to me now and i find them so respectful, I never seen NOR feel that their mom trying to use them as to get benefits out of her own sake, all turns out to be smooth as it is....what important for me is my husband and ex have still some respect left from each which all i want is to have peace and harmonious relationship to face my marriage life with him. Am just trying to wider my knowledge in dealing things with regards in a more mature way...His ex was the one who given the full costudy over their kids, still my husband can see them at anytime just that it takes long way to consider for their kids as they were living farther away so mostly only during off school and holidays and so as my husband working full time, they seldom seen each other only in a few occasion as they both can't make it due to their own set priorities. I am not regretting to commit my whole life with him as hes dying to do all to please me anyway.....children in the past would never be an issue NOR his ex...I respect his past much more he respects my right as his newly wife..All i can say my relationship with them are enough to consider that I am truly blessed on how the way they treated and valued me as a person much more as to welcome me as part of the family...so...its only right to treat them way back same...

[telford]

Well, sisters, believe me, whenever you cant have any problem regarding your husbands ex, then you must be sooooooooooooo lucky! Be thankful to that!
First time I was here, I got no problem with my hubbys ex, but now, I dont know what I did wrong to make her mad at me and posting lots of nasty words in facebook
But, I'll be ok... Pinay ata to! lol.....

[ANDRES25]

My husband is divorced and has a 13 yr old son. When my husband returned to England after our wedding and went to see his son, his ex told him that he cannot enter the house and see his son anymore because he's already married. So my husband said oh okay, he didn't argue at all,then immediately went away but then his son called him to come back. His ex is still hurt and cannot accept that he's now married. The situation is better now though, my husband just picks his son up whenever he has the time. He's just being civil with his ex-wife. I don't really have anything against with my husbands ex.. I have never met her yet but I know someday in the future I will. I would like as much as possible that my husband spends time with his son while I am here in the Philippines bcoz his attention will surely be divided when I;m already there. I won't mind it either if he sees him evryday or spends time with him when I'm there as long as I am still my husbands first priority. The son deserves a quality time with his dad and I fully understand that.