life....

[Frances]

Maria try to do things together watch a movie,go dancing,play sports that you both like anything that would make you bond together.
Just be patient and Pray always.

[maria_and_matt]

Maria try to do things together watch a movie,go dancing,play sports that you both like anything that would make you bond together.
Just be patient and Pray always.

we do go out as a family a lot, maybe we are just not meant to be :(... i do try hard i really do, but lately i have been tired to try

[cheesewiz]

some people will say what a lucky life you have! how many of us here want to have a life like yours...but I find my self lucky enough to have a job here in UK and able to help family back home and save a bit for my future and get married perhaps when the right time comes..so time will tell!!!

[andypaul]

You may not need Money but why not do Voluntary work you will get out make a difference to peoples Lifes and have something to tell your Hubby when you get back home.

[Jay&Zobel]

This is from your signature: obviously you have changed the last part (lol)
__________________

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


__________________


But I think this will help your situation:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change and the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.


May God Bless you my friend...

[maria_and_matt]

You may not need Money but why not do Voluntary work you will get out make a difference to peoples Lifes and have something to tell your Hubby when you get back home.

yeah i will do voluntary work with the age concern, i am just waiting for the police check. i cannot wait to start.

[maria_and_matt]

This is from your signature: obviously you have changed the last part (lol)
__________________

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


__________________


But I think this will help your situation:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change and the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.


May God Bless you my friend...

thank you sis, will bear that in mind

[robeth]

hi maria,

dont despair, lots of ppl are in the same situation as yours so you're not alone in this problem.

read a lot of self help books...

HAVE A LIFE, and

i find this very inspiring:

"Marriage is not supposed to make you happy.
It’s supposed to make you married, and once you are safely and totally married then you have a structure of security and support from which you are free to make yourself happy, rather than wasting your adulthood looking for structure."

Frank Pittmam

Good luck!

[Ana_may365]

i think u need a 2nd time for honeymoon

[maria_and_matt]

i think u need a 2nd time for honeymoon

[cruisingkerry]

Hi Maria,

Sorry to hear about your health problems, that must have been really difficult for you and your husband. Do you feel like you had the right support following your surgery and cancer treatment? I mean, counselling and that kind of support. Sometimes when you go through a rough time like that it has bearings on your future life even if you don't feel like it does. Do you feel guilty that you can't give your gusband a child? even if its not your fault? just something to think about.

I think that even just starting this thread is a step in the right direction to working out a little bit more about you.

Love
K xx

[pennybarry]

i can honestly say that material things don't matter match, i just want our relationship to get back on track. i can live without holidays, money or cars. i just want my husband to be more involved in our relationship not just be a provider. and i do know i am lucky to have him, but as i said before life is not all about money.

I met a lot of filipinas with much boring life than yours! I also met a young chinese girl who is married to Brit. I asked her if she was ready when she gave birth for her 4 month old son. She said NO, I was not ready and feel boring now she said. So please be thankful for that. Try some reverse psychology too. I feel boring if my hubby plays his PS3. Then I'll take a shower and later tell him I'll go to my friend house. He will say OK but in few minutes he will pick me up and ask me where I want to go. If I feel unwanted, I trully tell him I NEED A HUG, I WANT SWEET NOTHINGS! I'LL START telling funny stories, scracth/ massage his back, and he will turn his attention to me

Try making friends too. But choose the genuine one. I had 2 in our place and if she feels boring I'm always there if I have really time. Real friends will always make you feel happy

[GaryFifer]

My mum was in same situation. Her children were settled in school and apart from housework she was bored.

She approached the local jobcentre who advised the local college were offering free courses giving access to education and training for women returners. These were aimed at women whose children were settled or were at secondary school and wanted to go back to work/training and see what options were available. Most of these were free or you could get a small grant to pay cost of course and travel/books etc. She attended an open day at the college and spoke to women such as herself who had undergone this process and were now students and enjoying college life. She was daunted by this as she thought most college students were youngsters but found to her surprise students nowadays were of mixed ages and there were quite a lot of men and women in the lessons.

She applied for an access course (in Scotland) maybe different in England. This course gave a variety of modules in business studies, economics, child care, secreterial work, and social care as well as modules in various aspects of working life. She enrolled and found she could fit in college from 4-6 hours daily and she could cope with essays and written work in her sparetime. She loved this.

There was an international womens day at the college In comparing experiences with other females she found they all either had a moan from their husbands and sometimes resentment from the males about being left the housework due to college comittments.

Some men did not like the new independence the women found and their new relationships/friendships at college. Despite this she graduated at college with a new load of qualifications and the entry level for university if she desired. She was proud of her achievements and glad she chose this route.

Do not be frightened to ask. All the women talked about were from 25/50 upwards in age. New freedom and using all the skills/experiences she gained. Life is waiting out there - embrace this and forge ahead.

Good luck in your search for fulfillment as a person.

[maria_and_matt]

Hi Maria,

Sorry to hear about your health problems, that must have been really difficult for you and your husband. Do you feel like you had the right support following your surgery and cancer treatment? I mean, counselling and that kind of support. Sometimes when you go through a rough time like that it has bearings on your future life even if you don't feel like it does. Do you feel guilty that you can't give your gusband a child? even if its not your fault? just something to think about.

I think that even just starting this thread is a step in the right direction to working out a little bit more about you.

Love
K xx

i had no support when i was undergoing cancer treatment and after my surgery. my husband didnt even go with me when i was having my radiation sessions. he missed all of it, i remember sitting in hospital crying coz i was so lonely, that is when i felt like i was so alone. that feeling never left me.
when i had my hysterectomy i was in hospital for 3 days my husband never made it on time on visiting hours, he would turn up halfway through it. enough said i feel like crying already.
i dont feel guilty about not having a child with my husband. i made a choice to have the op so i live longer for my son. he means the world to me. i think that without my matthew i would died ages ago. i cannot take the things that happened to me here.
my filipino friends all tell me ' oh well at least you have money', they just dont know i'd rather be without money but have a better relationship with my husband.
thank you so much for asking me these questions it made me think a lot.

[maria_and_matt]

I met a lot of filipinas with much boring life than yours! I also met a young chinese girl who is married to Brit. I asked her if she was ready when she gave birth for her 4 month old son. She said NO, I was not ready and feel boring now she said. So please be thankful for that. Try some reverse psychology too. I feel boring if my hubby plays his PS3. Then I'll take a shower and later tell him I'll go to my friend house. He will say OK but in few minutes he will pick me up and ask me where I want to go. If I feel unwanted, I trully tell him I NEED A HUG, I WANT SWEET NOTHINGS! I'LL START telling funny stories, scracth/ massage his back, and he will turn his attention to me

Try making friends too. But choose the genuine one. I had 2 in our place and if she feels boring I'm always there if I have really time. Real friends will always make you feel happy

i have lots of friends. i go out out alot with them.
i agree real friends makes me happy but what happen when i have to go home. it is not boredom i feel, its lonliness.

[maria_and_matt]

My mum was in same situation. Her children were settled in school and apart from housework she was bored.

She approached the local jobcentre who advised the local college were offering free courses giving access to education and training for women returners. These were aimed at women whose children were settled or were at secondary school and wanted to go back to work/training and see what options were available. Most of these were free or you could get a small grant to pay cost of course and travel/books etc. She attended an open day at the college and spoke to women such as herself who had undergone this process and were now students and enjoying college life. She was daunted by this as she thought most college students were youngsters but found to her surprise students nowadays were of mixed ages and there were quite a lot of men and women in the lessons.

She applied for an access course (in Scotland) maybe different in England. This course gave a variety of modules in business studies, economics, child care, secreterial work, and social care as well as modules in various aspects of working life. She enrolled and found she could fit in college from 4-6 hours daily and she could cope with essays and written work in her sparetime. She loved this.

There was an international womens day at the college In comparing experiences with other females she found they all either had a moan from their husbands and sometimes resentment from the males about being left the housework due to college comittments.

Some men did not like the new independence the women found and their new relationships/friendships at college. Despite this she graduated at college with a new load of qualifications and the entry level for university if she desired. She was proud of her achievements and glad she chose this route.

Do not be frightened to ask. All the women talked about were from 25/50 upwards in age. New freedom and using all the skills/experiences she gained. Life is waiting out there - embrace this and forge ahead.

Good luck in your search for fulfillment as a person.

thank you for that, i will look into it.

[maria_and_matt]

just to give a few updates as to what i have been doing... when the bt shares hit 1.20 this morning i bought £15k's worth, will sell it when it doubles. been playing and watching the shares very interesting.
i have also been shopping on base (american) and had lotsa fun this weekend. i barely saw my husband, maybe life without him ain't so bad. see you all later guys i am off to lunch with friends hope you all have a good monday.

[reginacarlson]

i do try to talk to him openly but i think my husband has a hard time to express his feelings. unlike me i am vocal of what i feel, my husband just tends to nod along in agreement. i do agree with you about communication and intimacy, we do not have both. i talk he nods thats it. we are no longer intimate, i think that we are just in it for companionship.

I think you should give each other hugs, they're therapeutical and it greatly boost moods. Also say "I love you" more, don't let it become just a routine. Find new, exciting, or even funny ways to spout your love for your husband. Try slipping a note in his pocket or wallet, tracing it in the bathroom mirror after a hot shower, or even just whispering it to him first thing in the morning!
I also read somewhere that you should initiate some passionate kisses, it might be ackward at first but what better way to rekindle your relationship than being intimate. You should also try dressing sexy specially when you're husband is around