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Thread: Am I being selfish and heartless?

  1. #1
    Respected Member reginacarlson's Avatar
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    Unhappy Am I being selfish and heartless?

    I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct).

    Now the problem is my family are asking me to stay until after All Saint's Day so we could all go to the province (bicol) and pay my respect first to my dearly departed grandparents. That would mean staying for another 9 days (that is if I'd fly on 03Nov) which seems an awfully long time!

    It's not that I don't want to...it's just that I've been waiting for this for ssoooo long! and now that the moment has finally arrived to be with my husband again, delaying it for even a few days seem like an eternity.

    My brother is making me feel really bad, as if I'm the worst granddaughter in the world. I'm torn...I don't know what to do


  2. #2
    Respected Member Sim11UK's Avatar
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    Stay with your family, the few extra days. Your husband will understand, you have a lifetime together.
    Your family, will be really upset that you are leaving anyway, be that in a few days or whenever. It will be another happy memory, for you & your family to look back on.


  3. #3
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    [QUOTE=reginacarlson;94438][COLOR="black"][COLOR="Purple"][COLOR="Purple"][SIZE="2"][B][COLOR="Navy"]I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct). QUOTE]

    Good luck to you.. where are you in the UK?


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    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reginacarlson View Post
    I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct).

    Now the problem is my family are asking me to stay until after All Saint's Day so we could all go to the province (bicol) and pay my respect first to my dearly departed grandparents. That would mean staying for another 9 days (that is if I'd fly on 03Nov) which seems an awfully long time!

    It's not that I don't want to...it's just that I've been waiting for this for ssoooo long! and now that the moment has finally arrived to be with my husband again, delaying it for even a few days seem like an eternity.

    My brother is making me feel really bad, as if I'm the worst granddaughter in the world. I'm torn...I don't know what to do
    Take no notice of your brother, just follow your heart. As I'm sure some on here will tell you, once your here in the UK and you don't live up to their expectations, vis-a-vis remittances etc, you'll soon be the black sheep of the family anyway. Sorry, I seem to have my cynical head on today.
    Iain.


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    Respected Member amyburple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reginacarlson View Post
    I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct).

    Now the problem is my family are asking me to stay until after All Saint's Day so we could all go to the province (bicol) and pay my respect first to my dearly departed grandparents. That would mean staying for another 9 days (that is if I'd fly on 03Nov) which seems an awfully long time!

    It's not that I don't want to...it's just that I've been waiting for this for ssoooo long! and now that the moment has finally arrived to be with my husband again, delaying it for even a few days seem like an eternity.

    My brother is making me feel really bad, as if I'm the worst granddaughter in the world. I'm torn...I don't know what to do

    Follow your heart sis why they will decide that for you! You are old enough and you have your own family now.... they are selfish and not you! What ever makes you happy go for it sis....


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    Respected Member marylen's Avatar
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    oh yeah whatever feels you to, same here i suppose to travel end of this month but my heart seems wanting to stay for a bit longer even after all souls/saints day to spend some extra few days of my family as this is my first time to be away from them for longer enough and settle in UK for good....but seems my mind refuse to accept whats on my heart as i need to travel soon as possible and that i am nearly on my 7mos this Nov.8....i have only two choices either to travel end of this month or first week of November....not sure what to choose , might be we can confirm it tomorrow after knowing the flight details availability...................really so hard to weigh up things if family is involve especially if they are both have the biggest part of your heart...

    The best way is to follow what your heart says so..................


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    Quote Originally Posted by Sim11UK View Post
    Stay with your family, the few extra days. Your husband will understand, you have a lifetime together.
    Your family, will be really upset that you are leaving anyway, be that in a few days or whenever. It will be another happy memory, for you & your family to look back on.
    I agree. It would be nice to leave without worrying you made your family disappointed, somehow you will miss your family when you get to UK and you will regret it that you turned them down.
    Yes, your husband should be your priority, but am sure he wont mind if you will stay for extra more days with your family.


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    Respected Member reginacarlson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Toyang View Post
    Good luck to you.. where are you in the UK?
    Hello Toyang, we're in Buckhurst Hill (London Zone 5).


  9. #9
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    i doubt your family permit will be refused,

    you shouldn't have had to wait long because of euro law, they are treated as priority cases when applying for a visa and also when it comes a to refusals

    another reason why brits in the uk are second class citizens


  10. #10
    Respected Member eljean's Avatar
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    you have lifetime to spend with your husband...just stay a bit and make the most out of your time in the Philippines with your family co'z your gonna miss them bad when your here...and wave goodbye on your fave things that you wont be able to see for long timespecially the weather
    Filipina a born survivor!


  11. #11
    Respected Member keithAngel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reginacarlson View Post
    I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct).

    Now the problem is my family are asking me to stay until after All Saint's Day so we could all go to the province (bicol) and pay my respect first to my dearly departed grandparents. That would mean staying for another 9 days (that is if I'd fly on 03Nov) which seems an awfully long time!

    It's not that I don't want to...it's just that I've been waiting for this for ssoooo long! and now that the moment has finally arrived to be with my husband again, delaying it for even a few days seem like an eternity.

    My brother is making me feel really bad, as if I'm the worst granddaughter in the world. I'm torn...I don't know what to do
    You could maybe go to Bicol now and pay your respects bring a couple of small stones from your grandparents resting place to the UK and put them somwhere special in your new home or gerden as a permanent remembrance
    Absit invidia

    DISCLAIMER: The information hereinabove may or may not be entirely accurate, relevant, forthright, verifiable, or coherent. KeithAngel, who shall herein be refered to as the 'Shining Beacon of Light', reserves the right to neither confirm, deny, justify, explain, or otherwise acknowledge any inquiry in regards to the validity, genuinity, construction, intent, and/or motive of any statements, gestures, and/or actions whether real, imagined, or transdimensional in origin. Further, the 'Shining Beacon of Light' shall be absolved of any and all legal, moral, and financial responsibilities for damages to life, limb, character, reputation, property, and/or business resulting from the usage, assimilation, incorporation, replication, and/or distribution of said statements whether partial, complete, misquoted, or imagined. This disclaimer remains in effect despite any discrepancies or claims as to its legibility, comprehension, interpretation, subliminal suggestiveness, political affiliation, legality, visibility, and/or physical presence


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    follow your heart..


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    Respected Member maria_and_matt's Avatar
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    a few more days won't hurt, you have all the time in the world to spend with your hubby after. have fun with your family, you will miss them loads when you get here.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people i had to kill because they pissed me off.


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    Respected Member angel2008's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maria_and_matt View Post
    a few more days won't hurt, you have all the time in the world to spend with your hubby after. have fun with your family, you will miss them loads when you get here.
    I agree


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    Quote Originally Posted by reginacarlson View Post
    I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct).

    Now the problem is my family are asking me to stay until after All Saint's Day so we could all go to the province (bicol) and pay my respect first to my dearly departed grandparents. That would mean staying for another 9 days (that is if I'd fly on 03Nov) which seems an awfully long time!

    It's not that I don't want to...it's just that I've been waiting for this for ssoooo long! and now that the moment has finally arrived to be with my husband again, delaying it for even a few days seem like an eternity.

    My brother is making me feel really bad, as if I'm the worst granddaughter in the world. I'm torn...I don't know what to do

    Don't be too much in a hurry coming here Your hubby will surely understand you as All Saints Day is part of our culture. If I can only come home on that day, I would love to spend my time with my Grandma, Grandad, my dad and brothers' grave. I would also love to see my old friends and cousins visiting their love one's grave.


  16. #16
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    I agree with them...


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    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reginacarlson View Post
    I tracked my visa application status today and it's ready for collection tomorrow. I'm so pysched!!! :cwm29: There are only 2 possible outcomes: denied or approved. Now assuming it's approved (don't we all want the good news?), I of course can't hardly wait to fly back to UK this Saturday (25Oct).

    Now the problem is my family are asking me to stay until after All Saint's Day so we could all go to the province (bicol) and pay my respect first to my dearly departed grandparents. That would mean staying for another 9 days (that is if I'd fly on 03Nov) which seems an awfully long time!

    It's not that I don't want to...it's just that I've been waiting for this for ssoooo long! and now that the moment has finally arrived to be with my husband again, delaying it for even a few days seem like an eternity.

    My brother is making me feel really bad, as if I'm the worst granddaughter in the world. I'm torn...I don't know what to do


    Bicolana ka? Where in Bicol are ur relatives residing? Thanks


  18. #18
    Respected Member Frances's Avatar
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    I agree it wont make a difference if you stay a few days.You have a lifetime with your hubby.
    I miss my fiance so much,when i learned my visa was overturned i immediatly told my mom she was crying all my life i have centered my life to God,family and friends when i am in UK my priority would be my own family thats life. I told my fiance about it and he understand perfectly so he will be flying over for the holidays and we go back to Uk together.
    True love waits.


  19. #19
    Respected Member reginacarlson's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    Bicolana ka? Where in Bicol are ur relatives residing? Thanks
    Hi. Yes I'm Bicolana but I was born and raised in Manila. I can understand the dialect but I can not speak it fluently.

    My parents and relatives are from Daet, Camarines Norte.

    Are you Bicolana as well? *Oragon!*





  20. #20
    Respected Member reginacarlson's Avatar
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    Just to let you guys know that I went to Bicol last Thursday and just arrived back in Manila a few hours ago. Everything's okay now as I've managed to visit my dearly departed grandparents before leaving and my family and relatives are pleased. Everything is okay now so I'll be flying back to UK tomorrow night .


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    hiya,stay a bit spend quality time with your family,friends and relatives
    im sure you`ll gonna miss them and Phils. when you`re here


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