marriage on the rocks!!!

[KeithD]

I think Baboyako's 'Senior Member' status has resulted in Alzeimhers!!

[angelbird]

id like to thank everyone for their knowledgeable advise and comments. i guess only time will tell. i've made the decision to delete my yahoo messenger ID so at least she can no longer control the main means of our communication. i'll just email her daily and see what sort of response i get. i expect a major tampo because she loves to chat,even on a heated argument basis. obviously this move will answer no questions as to her change of attitude but it will help me cope with the possibility that she is just playin me for a fool.

ive decided not to visit her again (at least before visa decision is made), besides if she does have a filipino boyfriend or online boyfriends i would still never find that out just because i was there with her. even mentioning her past makes her crazy,the last time i did she packed her bags and went bck to pasay leaving me in makati...she's just not an open person. her friend says she will tell me all about her past in her own time. so i guess i'll have to blindly trust her to open up to me eventually.

i'm still madly inlove with rea and want her here as my wife more than anything in the world and i intend to live my life as a man simply waiting for his girl to join him. with that spirit in mind iv'e decided to send her money and compile wotever documents i need to send for the visa application ASAP.

maybe this is what she wanted/expected me to do all along,perhaps this is the real reason behind her attitude change? in any event i'll have to trust that she does actually apply. i think in our case,given our situation a less than perfect application (scanty evidence ect...) is better than a delayed one? i would much rather be posting questions about how to remedy a failed application with her by my side than discussing my marriage dissapearing down the *****er.

once again cheers to everyone......even baboyako for the light releif.

[ginapeterb]

id like to thank everyone for their knowledgeable advise and comments. i guess only time will tell. i've made the decision to delete my yahoo messenger ID so at least she can no longer control the main means of our communication. i'll just email her daily and see what sort of response i get. i expect a major tampo because she loves to chat,even on a heated argument basis. obviously this move will answer no questions as to her change of attitude but it will help me cope with the possibility that she is just playin me for a fool.

ive decided not to visit her again (at least before visa decision is made), besides if she does have a filipino boyfriend or online boyfriends i would still never find that out just because i was there with her. even mentioning her past makes her crazy,the last time i did she packed her bags and went bck to pasay leaving me in makati...she's just not an open person. her friend says she will tell me all about her past in her own time. so i guess i'll have to blindly trust her to open up to me eventually.

i'm still madly inlove with rea and want her here as my wife more than anything in the world and i intend to live my life as a man simply waiting for his girl to join him. with that spirit in mind iv'e decided to send her money and compile wotever documents i need to send for the visa application ASAP.

maybe this is what she wanted/expected me to do all along,perhaps this is the real reason behind her attitude change? in any event i'll have to trust that she does actually apply. i think in our case,given our situation a less than perfect application (scanty evidence ect...) is better than a delayed one? i would much rather be posting questions about how to remedy a failed application with her by my side than discussing my marriage dissapearing down the *****er.

once again cheers to everyone......even baboyako for the light releif.

Angelbird, I am dissapointed that you have decided to send your wife money, not dissapointed in you naturally, this is of course your own business and its true to say, this is your wife, none of us here at this forum, has the right to tell you what to do, that will always be your own decision, the reason for my dissapointment, is that you are fuelling her lifestyle just as she wants you to, if you send her money, she will simply spend the money, whether it goes on a visa application, based on what you have told me, I find it hard to beleive it will, I made a point of calling some of my Filipino freinds in London today, on your behalf, I put your story to 2-3 of my Filipino (male) freinds, they listened to your story, and told me, that is was more than likely, your wife has another man, although they could not be certain, as no one can be certain, they think she is playing you for sustento, ( maintenance) or baon ( allowance sent from a man), as long as you keep sending her an allowance, she will play you for a fool, the fact that she is being abusive and rude, is behaviour that fits with someone who has another man, and is taking you for money only, i think you should think very carefully before sending any money, and why would you close off your yahoo messenger Id, That makes no sense to me, if you do that, how is she supposed to contact you, and if you are so madly in love with her, and want her in UK, is that the right way to go about it, surely, you would want to keep the lines of communciation open, its only over a period of time that this might be sorted out, closing off yahoo, is not the way forward, closing off the baon, is a good step to get her to see reason, I cant quite understand what you are up to ?

oh well its your life

[angelbird]

wow...wot to do? my reason for cutting our internet chatting off is because it has become my prison. she wants me to stay online 24/7 cam open whether im at work or sleeping. if i get dc while im asleep or outside she will accuse me of logging out and chatting to others....she is obsessed with me chatting to others! she always has been. as a punishment for being dc she will log out for days at a time and refuse to answer email or txts,calls ect...i know this sounds very childish and for a 36 year old man like myself who had never chatted online untill the time i met my wife, i must say for me it is childish but for her its a major big deal. pete it is clear to me that my wife is no stranger to the world of chatting,she has admitted previous online relationships and i can tell that her chatting skills are well developed and her english usage online is far more developed than in person(this tells me she has chatted to english speakers regularly) i have actually had my suspicions that she has been chatting to others but she fiercly denies this even when she sent me a pic and the IM she sent was completly out of contxt with what our conversation was about.it was so obvious but she will go to her grave denying this. many times especially at weekends she will simply not be online even if we had arranged to be,no explanations or even apologies when she does come back. i have let her off the hook so many times for unexplained dissapearances that i guess she feels no need for any explanations. im cutting out chatting because its her power base over me i guess. if she really misses my company surely she will make the effort to write nice long heartfelt emails? thats part of the logic too. there's been too many occations driving home from work really looking forward to a nice chat with my wife and guess what.....she's logged off with not a single word. thats heartbreaking enough let alone the thought of another guy.

the reason for sending her money pete is simple...if she does'nt use the money for the application then its over,no excuses will be accepted. i'll send the documents to her and when she shows me she has received them i'll send her the money.....i am ready and prepared to leave her. i'm on red alert regarding everything.

i'm not ready to entertain the thought that she has a filipino bf lurking in the background but ive often wondered about her online activities. there is more than one pc in her appartment and ive always had a mental image of her and her housemates "playin around online fishing for....wotever?"

[Eljohno]

You need to understand that this has never once been about judging you mate. I have limited experience about the Philippines and the women and so has Pete but when you use this forum over a period of time you learn things. We are only saying what we see and if you are being taken for a ride we just do not want you to go through any more than what you have done already. I know you would admit that there are many question marks over your wife's behaviour. If you get to know anyone on this forum whos marriage is going very well you will see that their wife's behavior is totally different to what your wife is putting you through. For example when my wife and i arranged to chat online most times that is actually what happened and if one of us could not make it then we would always make this known. The fact is you do not deserve to be put through this at all.I know that you love her and that is in no doubt but that can cloud your decisions. Do you really think after everything that has happened that she will use the money for the reason you send it? Just keep a smart head about everything and i do honestly wish you all the best whatever you decide...

[ginapeterb]

Angelbird,


I have read your post, and my good freind John's post, I can only echo his sentiments, in fact, he really is trying to say, that we all here at the Filipinouk forum are a family, we don't like to see our members taken for a fool, I can't help feeling that part of this is where you have become a beggar to your own demise, don't get me wrong, I do take issue with your choice of partner, if you didnt see any of the symptoms she is displaying, then she is a realy good actress, if its only after the honeymoon she did well, and should be nominated for an oscar for her outstanding contribution to scamphilworld.

But much of your previous post really tells me everything, I know a few filipinas who heard your story, who would like to ring her neck, her behaviour is not normal, and is not a loving act of a excited new wife who is ready to come and migrate to a new country to start a life with her "gwapo" British hubby who is going to give her the baby "White".

She should be ecstatic, enthusiastic, and eager to come over, she should be titilated at the thought, she would normally be boring the pants off anyone who would listen to her in the Barangay where she crawls back to at night, she will tell everyone, that she is going to UK, and she would be in eager anticipation of hope that she will get the visa, that will give her the passport to a better life.

Does that sound like your wife ?


Nope !!!

What do we have here with her, wont talk to you, hates you, argues with you, blanks you, goes off for days and wont log on, and wants you to be onine 24 hours a day so she can bite your head off for a little polite conversation and then you say "

"Oh honey , we have a problem, we need to apply for the UK Visa, and here is P27,000 for you to get it, if you dont get the visa, you wont get any more money"

I take my hat off to you angelbird, cos you have patience, if you had not married her, and she was coming on marriage visa, I would have advised you to drop this dead duck now and get back searching for a nice Filipina, hmmm there are thousands of them, hundreds of thousands actually, just waiting for a nice guy to come along, whom they can start a life with, and out of all the hundreds of thousands, you get stuck with this dead duck.

As you have married her, there isnt much you can do, and well she knows it, the only thing you can do is wait 12 months, and file a petition in your local court, on a DIY basis, for unreasonable behaviour, within 3 months, as no children and a foreign marriage certificate, you will be free to move on, having said that, if your earnest desire is to carry on trying, then good luck to you, I would love to have her shipped back to PHILIPPINES, but hey...she is already there...what am I talking about.

Good luck angel bird.