sex before marriage

[Candyman]

Hi guys, I mentioned the awkward subject of sex to my girl the other day, she was quite adament that she wanted to wait until we are married,

OK

mmmm

I don't know what to think about this,

I understand the principle of this thought process,

BUT

I am not 100% comfortable with this, is this really a genuine sentiment? or is this just a ploy to some how get a visa or a divorce settlement, it pains me to say that, but, here in the uk sex comes way before marriage, and it is fun ! ! so,,,,,,,,

What do you guys think??

[aromulus]

Have you actually met her in person yet...???

[gemini63]

Hi guys, I mentioned the awkward subject of sex to my girl the other day, she was quite adament that she wanted to wait until we are married,

OK

mmmm

I don't know what to think about this,

I understand the principle of this thought process,

BUT

I am not 100% comfortable with this, is this really a genuine sentiment? or is this just a ploy to some how get a visa or a divorce settlement, it pains me to say that, but, here in the uk sex comes way before marriage, and it is fun ! ! so,,,,,,,,

What do you guys think??

Its what a thinking brought up to us filipinos, especially advices from our elders.If it can be avoided much better to avoid to keep womens dignity.But sometimes it cannot be avoided if your already too much closer with each other...Its a big deal to us filipinas..especially to virgin ones...But if your too close and in love or sure with each other. i think theres no bad in sex before marriage.But if she still a virgin,Thats a diferent story.You should understand her...

[Candyman]

she is not a virgin,,,,, I am shy to talk of this.

[Candyman]

yes, we have met, a few months ago. i was out there for 2 weeks, then i meet a few different girls, but no sex with any one.

[vbkelly]

she is not a virgin,,,,, I am shy to talk of this.

how did you know that she's not a virgin?

[gemini63]

she is not a virgin,,,,, I am shy to talk of this.

If your talking it thru net or on line,maybe she is just hesitant or shy to answer yes or what...Sometimes if man and woman together and have privacy,sex comes without asking about it, it just comes along..Its only we filipinas are shy to talk about it,coz we are not brought up open to it...

[Piamed]

Hi Candyman. You mentioned that you saw other girls during your visit. Have you decided that this particular lady is the one for you and vice versa?

If the lady was married before and had only had relations ith her pevious husband, it is not unreasonable for her to wait until she has remarried. If she has had relations already outside of marriage then she may have particular reasons for not doing the same with you. perhaps she is uncertain of your intentions.

Also how did you raise the subject with her? You may need to temper your thoughts and approach to the subject, with your knowledge of her culture as alluded to earlier in this thread.

These are just my thoughts just based on the info provided!

Good luck.

[Candyman]

she has told me, i believe her because, in my experience of the chat rooms most girls tend to boast about being a virgin, (as if that matters). I just feel a little bit left out of the "love" in this relationship.

[Candyman]

thanks, intresting, she was not married before. yes, i decided she was the one. i will think about how my intentons may be mis understood.

[joebloggs]

I am not 100% comfortable with this, is this really a genuine sentiment? or is this just a ploy to some how get a visa or a divorce settlement, it pains me to say that, but, here in the uk sex comes way before marriage, and it is fun ! ! so,,,,,,,,

your not comfortable with it

it could well be she is religious and this is the way she has been brought up

as for the visa comment i'm sure you've not mentioned this to her , you could well have an ex g/f ..

[Mrs.JMajor]

yes, we have met, a few months ago. i was out there for 2 weeks, then i meet a few different girls, but no sex with any one.

1) Maybe she is doubt of your intention for her
2) She is worried about the Aids
3) Or she isn't serious to u.....
4) you are not her type of man (don't get offended)

So....if u both chatting online and still have serious chat,ask her any kind of question u want to know and tell her u are that serious to Ur love 4 her and...why she doesn't feel like ?
Beside we are in the modern age now....

And for sure members here from the forum will agree to me that even they just meet online and chat to know each other for quite sometime ,and once the man do the effort to fly 6000 miles and meet her...

especially if she isnt a virgin anymore,as u said

[adam&chryss]

1) Maybe she is doubt of your intention for her
2) She is worried about the Aids
3) Or she isn't serious to u.....
4) you are not her type of man (don't get offended)

So....if u both chatting online and still have serious chat,ask her any kind of question u want to know and tell her u are that serious to Ur love 4 her and...why she doesn't feel like ?
Beside we are in the modern age now....

And for sure members here from the forum will agree to me that even they just meet online and chat to know each other for quite sometime ,and once the man do the effort to fly 6000 miles and meet her...

especially if she isnt a virgin anymore,as u said

i agree

when adam and i first met.. we didn't have sex on the first night we slept together. it is just bec. i asked him to bring condoms but he didn't, i just don't want to get pregnant that time. but after couple of days it's me who wanted to make love with him with or w/o condoms i guess that's fine to say anyway we are all adults here

i guess, u need more time to build intimacy to each other.. or u can ask her directly why she doesn't want to... and show more love to her and how good your intentions with her.

good luck to u both

[Mrs.JMajor]

Adam&chryss

Nice of you being honest, than others who tried to pull others legs

[KeithD]

But it's not before marriage, as you've been married before!

Anyway, doesn't she have a and you can use...that's not technically 'sex' then?

[aromulus]

Anyway, doesn't she have a and you can use...that's not technically 'sex' then?

Not from the Clinton-Lewinski book, as I can see it....

Tissues and cigars anyone...???

[joebloggs]

Tissues and cigars anyone...???

that reminds me of the lesbian strippers that my boss hired for his stag do, an eye opener that was and i thought cigars were for smoking

[aromulus]

and i thought cigars were for smoking

Joe.....

Early 70ies in Amsterdam..... (The Blue Note)
I saw some things coming out of some places which still give me nightmares to this day.... Never mind what went in.....

[joebloggs]

Joe.....

Early 70ies in Amsterdam..... (The Blue Note)
I saw some things coming out of some places which still give me nightmares to this day.... Never mind what went in.....

why what was you doing? , opening your wallet and some dead moths fell out

[aromulus]

why what was you doing? , opening your wallet and some dead moths fell out

Don't take the mickey out of endangered species.........

[walesrob]

Don't take the mickey out of endangered species.........

You or the moths

[aromulus]

You or the moths

Me of course, because the moths are welsh wallet ones.... and there are lots of them about.....

[menchkin]

how did you know that she's not a virgin?

Same question I have in mind...

[Mrs Daddy]

before when I was a teenager I tried to avoid an intimate relationship- coz I am scared of becoming a teenage mum and as well mum nagging me what would be the consequences like and I know that I am not ready for it and I have lose my virginity when I was 24 with my bf which is my hubby nowI know it was the right time and I felt it

[Candyman]

Thank you everyone lots of help as usual. I think I am just getting worked up about nothing. no suprise there! Win2Win - I've not been married! Thanks again.

[chris40]

my wife was a 32 year old virgin when i met her. i found this quite unusual and even a little difficult to believe. i asked her why and she said that if she gave herself to a man in that way she would devalue herself and other men would not show her any interest.therefore she may not get married.
i respected her views and different way of life and despite flying 6000 miles to be with her i resisted the temptation of leaping on her the moment we were alone.
after gaining her trust and respect things ran their natural course and i,m glad to say that she is now my wife.

[KeithD]

.....and I felt it

I certainly hope you did, otherwise he wouldn't have been worth marrying

[cheesewiz]

i lost my virginity when i was 33 from my Brit BF (what a lucky man) he can't believe it that im too old to be virgin. I think most of filipina wants to be virgin till they get married but sometimes things happen they way we don't want it to be..specially when your inlove

[lavander]

I certainly hope you did, otherwise he wouldn't have been worth marrying

[Mrs.JMajor]

how did you know that she's not a virgin?

Same question I have in mind...

she has told me, i believe her because, in my experience of the chat rooms most girls tend to boast about being a virgin, (as if that matters). I just feel a little bit left out of the "love" in this relationship.

The girl told her