Me and my gorgeous Filipina wifey went to a Premier Inn Hotel for our New Years Eve celebrations...my dad was there and he got stupifyingly drunk as he always does...for unexplainable reasons he sneaked into the Hotels restaurant area and stole all the party popper thingys off the tables!
I called him the next day with a prank call...using my best posh accent I said "I am the manager of the Premier Inn Hotel and I need to talk to you about an incident in our restaurant...our cctv camera's show you helping yourself to party poppers?....There is also the matter of the damage you did whilst in your drunken state? I'm afraid it's now a Police matter as it's criminal damage.." (He did laugh)