lol...indeed Peter
lol...indeed Peter
All the advice so far offered is good.
I have spent a lot of time on MSN and Yahoo in the last 10 - 12 years. The warning signals seem to be declarations of love and requests for money - coupled with tales of woe - within a few minutes of chatting. I have often gone along with those stories simply to see what they would say but with never any intention of sending money. It is not only Filipino women who do this - just that there are a lot of them online.
My advice would be to chat to a lot of women online. Even frequent the Filipino rooms on Yahoo or look for those who appear to be Filipino in the UK ones. You will soon discover those who you enjoy chatting to and want to chat to some more.
My now wife and myself chatted for a couple of years until we talked seriously about marriage. And at no stage did she ask me for any money or other material support.
Online chat is fraught with deceit - you can describe yourself as single, never married, and in reality have several marriages behind you.
If you chat to the "one" and want to meet her then a lot of trust is still involved in making that 7000 mile journey...........But as most members here will testify the patience and care and time is very much worthwhile.
Karateka, it might still be useful or, at least, interesting to know where your girl comes from!
The first time I offered to send money to Ruby was when she was making hotel and car bookings in preparation for my first visit, but she refused. However, I did end up paying off some considerable Utang during the visit. In addition to the arrangements for my visit, she had been borrowing money in order to pay for time at the Internet Cafe and I knew that she wasn't well paid!
For every supposed 'golddigger' out there, there is a selfish and advantage-taking Westerner. It works both ways i think.Originally Posted by KARATEKA
Additionally, a wife is not just for Christmas, as the old advert used to declare. It occurs to me from what you have said that you have put less research, planning and consideration into this situation than you would put into pursuing a new job or the purchasing of a house.
I don't think you should be talking relationships with one person when you are not truly free to pursue it. The grass is not always greener also.
Take time to evaluate the situation from your own perspective but more importantly from the perspective of the life you might be responsible for. That is love, n'est pa! And think about the risk she is taking, and presumably without knowing the full picture on your side.
Good luck mate!
Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
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I think we're all following what we see in the movies/tv and have given us preconceptions about meeting far east asian girls. And to some degree its true in developing asian countries. But thats only a minority of girls after money and thus giving all the girls a bad name if money is mentioned early on. Its no different than your mates or family talking about their money problems and asking you for help.
We all know Philippines is a developing country, and we know at the back of our minds that money is going to be a topic. I dont know what any other guys are like, but I like paying for everything when we was getting married in Manila. She made her efforts too, like buying inexspensive things such as ice cream, bottled water here and there etc. I already knew she doesn't have much money.
If you've gotten far as being boy friend/girl friend then why not spend some money on her. £100 - £200 is peanuts, thats like a days work for us boys. If there is any doubt or you feel uncomfortable with her then move on, there are plenty of other nice girls out there in the Philippines.
When me and my wife first started she already said she wanted to marry me with in weeks of knowing me and I said lets do it. Though to be honest we didn't really talk about money at all. Only after we got married a few months ago we started to talk about money, ie sending some back to her family. Which is no different than giving some money to your gran, or kids.
Well your looking for a new start, going to Philippines will open your eyes. I've travelled the world and thought I saw everything until I went to Philippines to get married. Its one big adventure which never stops.
I agree
Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
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I can't imagine any woman saying, yes please buy it for me. We don't work that way. You have to read between the lines!
Hello englishrose..its one of our culture or used to... that its the man who will support the woman especially if its his wife already..During dates of being bf/gf relationship, its usuall for us that its the man who will pay for the cost or expenses.Its the practice usually in phil.Because of that practice,,seems we filipina felt that if we spent for a man, wr downgrading our dignity of being a woman. Unlike here in uk as what i knew..its the woman..even cost of the wedding.So really, its one of the culture difference we have had...Also one culture we have had is that, the income of the husband goes to the wife and its the wife will do the budget...IN the case of working wife,,it depends on her now if she will help the expenses incurred for the family as help for her husband.But she has the right just to keep it...It should be the husband who will earn for the living, and its the wife who will take care of the husband.Thats why, we filipinas are bound really to take care of our husband as the head of the family,,and we wifes are the light...He..he..So its not easy if the husband has no job in phil..
I agree.
and if the husband will not surrender his income to his wife , he will be outside the kulambomeans he cant sleep with her or he have to sleep on the sofa.
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