Before, I think that I might feel unhappy as at the age of 30's, I was not ready to have serious relationship and marry. I studied hard, worked hard for my dreams and goal. It was my dream to travel more and more places and promised myself not to marry until I enjoyed my life being single to the fullest. Had my first serious relationship at 33, but we didn't fall into marriage. Never ever used any contraceptives b4.
I did experience some insults from people around, even behind this forum, and even to my friend when I was in my 30's. My friend said: Look Penny, I have 7 children and you have none. I am sure I am lucky than yours as having kids made me happy. I said I believed in you but I cannot make it alone eheheh. Years after, I have learned all her kids married below 18 and no one finished even high school. I feel sorry for her as she is confined in the hospital for a serious desease and she said she need my help morally and financially. I love her so I would love to help her as much as I could. Not only my friend's experience but in my own eyes, I've seen lots of couples having kids but hard for them to raise their children and fell into miserable life. Those experiences never changed my dream to have even one or two but not many.
I married late at 40's with my hubby. He loves kids too, but the chance of having baby is risky. But HOPE is always there as we live in high tech country. I also believe that chidren will leave their parents to have their own family in the future, but never your husband will leave you when you get old. To be honest, I feel happy lots and lots. Ask my baby boy hubby. If I get another baby girl or boy, then that will be fine and good. If not, then it will be OK. Anyway, it is not sinful if you always trying to have one but no luck yet ehehheh. More sinful is if you abort your baby![]()