the changing attitudes of some immigrants

[stevetheduke]

Hi everyone,
I would love you all to give me some feedback on the following subject and if i can get some answers from somebody even better.
I suppose this is a bit of a rant but its something that intrigues me more. I have a filipina wife, Irene she has lived here in the uk with me for two years. Before we met i spent 4 months travelling around the philippines i saw many parts of the country and one of the reasons i enjoyed it so much was the attitude of the people and the warmth they showed.
Now when my wife Irene first came here something not only shocked me but also her. Irene had'nt any friends here then and was so looking forward to meeting some fellow pinoys, she saw a young philippina at the shops and said hello in Tagalog the girl ignored her when Irene spoke to her in English the girl said Irene was mistaken she wasn't philippina she was british. Irene comes from the philippines of course she could see the girl did also from her looks, accent etc.
That was her first experience with a philippino in this country and im sorry to say it hasn't got much better i have since noticed that it seems some of the philippinos when they come to this country appear to become very snobbish.
I don't feel my wife has been welcomed here by her fellow nationals and i'd like to know if any other people here have experienced anything similar? Why do attitudes change? Why can't fellow philipinos greet each other walking down the isle in Morrisons instead of looking the other way? Just because somebody has come to a 1st world country and bettered themselves dosent make them royalty. Those with this attitude for the sake of my sanity please stop looking down your noses at others stop trying to look rich when your not so what you earn 6 pounds an hour and have a tomtom in your car? Get over yourselves its not impressive only to other people with the same small mindset.
I hope i havent offended anyone it is'nt my intention i know this is just a minority with this attitude this strange delusion of grandure. I just hoped there would be more comradely and my wife and i can meet some genuine philippinos here soon so i can feel the warm filipino spirit i remember from my travels there.
Regards

[Ann07]

I live in a small town but still i've seen people like that glad they are not from our town though I just ignore them now and keep on Im still happy most of my fellow filipino here are so nice

Instead of meeting fellow filipino why dont Irene try to entertain british people as her friends. Honestly, i have more british friends than filipino.

[somebody]

I live in a small town but still i've seen people like that glad they are not from our town though I just ignore them now and keep on Im still happy most of my fellow filipino here are so nice

Instead of meeting fellow filipino why dont Irene try to entertain british people as her friends. Honestly, i have more british friends than filipino.

Very true sorry but ex pats from all countries often become more proud of where they left.

Many people on here who have longer experience than us and we have noticed, although its a great thing to have phill friends who share common language and background. Its not always wise to get soley involved with the local community. As it can be very lonely when things go wrong.

But luckily I have Lived in an area where I have met people from all over the world. Some pasting though and some who have been here years.
I can honestly say I would not want all my friends from the same background as me.

Luckily Jenn knows most of the Phills in the area, some she gets on with well and others she just nods to.

One thing thou Steve is I have to say i certainly dont want to have every phill waving at us. Just as when im in Phill i dont feel the urge to say hello to every Brit or white person.

Many a time we have had an embrassing situation where both my Wife and another lady have avoided one another in a shop as they both just wanna mind their own business.
I dont seek out white middle class londoners whereever i go and the Missus is the same as me we be polite to who we come across and treat everyone the same.

But I guess living in London maybe its different as people from many backgrounds are there and to make it work people make a concious effort to be the same to all.


One thing I have noticed is many Phills due to being busy with chilldren and work etc. Sometimes try and avoid being to polite as they end up in conversations for ages (I have the same with older folks and what not) you dont wanna be rude but time is thin on the ground. Many also want to invite the missus to vaious meet ups and what have you. Again she simply doesn't have the time.

[joebloggs]

probably wrong time and wrong place for a chat, when ever i see a Filipino i say to the misses, go and say hello to them, she doesn't thou , but she talks to many Filipinos at work, in the pinoy shop and at school, ones she has something in common with, and not ones who are busy rushing around !

do any whiteys on here, when they see another whitey in the malls in the phils go up to them and start chatting ?, i never have, but I've chatted to whiteys at the airport and while on the plane..

[somebody]

probably wrong time and wrong place for a chat, when ever i see a Filipino i say to the misses, go and say hello to them, she doesn't thou , but she talks to many Filipinos at work, in the pinoy shop and at school, ones she has something in common with, and not ones who are busy rushing around !

do any whiteys on here, when they see another whitey in the malls in the phils go up to them and start chatting ?, i never have, but I've chatted to whiteys at the airport and while on the plane..

But Joe i bet you chat to all the other colours of the rainbow as well in airports and on the plane.

When in phill the other one is all phills think you and the ofws or NRP's wanna chat.

[alicat]

I live in a small town but still i've seen people like that glad they are not from our town though I just ignore them now and keep on Im still happy most of my fellow filipino here are so nice

Instead of meeting fellow filipino why dont Irene try to entertain british people as her friends. Honestly, i have more british friends than filipino.

i agree,most of my friends is british as well..i been here for 2 years now
i only got 5 filipino friends...for me what u see is what u get.
i like u,i like u,i dont like u,i dont like u.

[aromulus]

It happened just 3/4 of an hour ago in Tesco....

Jet asks smiling.... "Are you pinay"...?

The other person.... " Yes Thank you".....

And off....

Jet looks at me dumbfounded and says quietly so that I could hear "... Buang..."

[Ann07]

It happened just 3/4 of an hour ago in Tesco....

Jet asks smiling.... "Are you pinay"...?

The other person.... " Yes Thank you".....

And off....

Jet looks at me dumbfounded and says quietly so that I could hear "... Buang..."

nice one jet

[Jay&Zobel]

i think it is very common... sad but true...

i asked my husband the same question too many times, but he said
"it is like me a brit going to spain, u.s., france or philippines seeing another brit and you know for sure that he is a brit, a nod or a smile to say hello, they would just probably ignore or just not look at me..."

so i guess, we just have to smile even if the person you are smiling will not smile back. maybe she (the pinay) who was once a newbie in this country, seeing another kababayan and she was just ignored too... so she is now doing the same...

to break that habit or that sadchain... smile or smile back... it is free anyway, you have got nothing to lose...

[somebody]

i think it is very common... sad but true...

i asked my husband the same question too many times, but he said
"it is like me a brit going to spain, u.s., france or philippines seeing another brit and you know for sure that he is a brit, a nod or a smile to say hello, they would just probably ignore or just not look at me..."

so i guess, we just have to smile even if the person you are smiling will not smile back. maybe she (the pinay) who was once a newbie in this country, seeing another kababayan and she was just ignored too... so she is now doing the same...

to break that habit or that sadchain... smile or smile back... it is free anyway, you have got nothing to lose...

A smile to all people (using common sense if in certain situations) can change how everyone reacts to you.

[jta]

Yes I experienced the same but not all Filipino, I don't know why, it seems there's a feeling of seniority, the more years they live here the more they ignore other Filipino. I observed that there's a feeling of competition within them...I met good 1 and I ask her what i observed and she said don't bother thats Filipino here in U.K. and further said u can tell who are new here because they tend to be friendly..so maybe " we follow the leader" the more we stayed longer here the more we ignore Filipino???

[nigel]

Maybe it's just fear of a stranger?

[Mrs.JMajor]

I remember a thread similar like your rant , cant find it....but yes to be honest...she isn't the only one who experienced that....where u in the UK ?

[reginacarlson]

Yes, unfortunately it's true. I've noticed that too...some Filipinos who've been here for quite sometime or who's been living abroad for that matter tends to be a snob, conceited, arrogant, vain, self-centered or big headed! They perceive themselves as superior. They're so full of themselves and they think they're better than anyone else!

What really annoys me is when you try to have conversations with them and they would rather speak English than Tagalog! They speak English as if to prove that they're better when in fact they're struggling with the grammar! (trying hard ba!)

I mean despite my efforts to talk to them in Tagalog, they refused to answer back in English! It is of course a completely different story for Filipinos who were born and raised somewhere else his/her entire life and can only converse in English. However, for those who are too proud to speak Filipino and are very pretentious, I'd like to say "Wag mo ng pahirapan sarili mo! Paenglish-english ka pa dyan! mag Tagalog ka na lang!". In English, it translates to something like "Stop giving yourself a hard time! You keep talking in English! will you just speak in Tagalog!".

It's a shame though that I can't fully translate that sentence with as much conviction and impact as when it is said in Tagalog.

Even Jose Rizal, our Philippine national here once said that those who don’t love their mother language are worse than the smell of a rotten fish (”Ang di marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas masahol pa sa malansa at mabahong isda.”)

[KeithD]

....those who don’t love their mother language are worse than the smell of a rotten fish....

Are you listening Rob.....get that Welsh phrase book out

[somebody]

Are you listening Rob.....get that Welsh phrase book out

Rob loves dried fish oh rotten fish is there a difference?

[somebody]

Yes, unfortunately it's true. I've noticed that too...some Filipinos who've been here for quite sometime or who's been living abroad for that matter tends to be a snob, conceited, arrogant, vain, self-centered or big headed! They perceive themselves as superior. They're so full of themselves and they think they're better than anyone else!

What really annoys me is when you try to have conversations with them and they would rather speak English than Tagalog! They speak English as if to prove that they're better when in fact they're struggling with the grammar! (trying hard ba!)

I mean despite my efforts to talk to them in Tagalog, they refused to answer back in English! It is of course a completely different story for Filipinos who were born and raised somewhere else his/her entire life and can only converse in English. However, for those who are too proud to speak Filipino and are very pretentious, I'd like to say "Wag mo ng pahirapan sarili mo! Paenglish-english ka pa dyan! mag Tagalog ka na lang!". In English, it translates to something like "Stop giving yourself a hard time! You keep talking in English! will you just speak in Tagalog!".

It's a shame though that I can't fully translate that sentence with as much conviction and impact as when it is said in Tagalog.

Even Jose Rizal, our Philippine national here once said that those who don’t love their mother language are worse than the smell of a rotten fish (”Ang di marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas masahol pa sa malansa at mabahong isda.”)

Easy my wife sometimes forgets which language she is speaking so replies in English when she meant to speak Phill.

She has no problem with taglog, just didn't realise. As strange as that seems.
My Wife and some other ladies in phill airport had this problem they for some reason spoke english possibly as the passport checker spoke in English to the people in front of them they felt they should do.


Also some phills and speakers of other lanaguages sometimes feel in a public place its politer to speak the local language.

If its a social convo in the street with no non speakers in tow then a bit strange but hey no law about speaking a language so i guess up to them.

[Mrs.JMajor]

[SIZE="2"][SIZE="3"][B] "Wag mo ng pahirapan sarili mo! Paenglish-english ka pa dyan! mag Tagalog ka na lang!". In English, it translates to something like "Stop giving yourself a hard time! You keep talking in English! will you just speak in Tagalog!".

nice one regina ,pwede ba magtagalog d2

[gemini63]

:

Yes, unfortunately it's true. I've noticed that too...some Filipinos who've been here for quite sometime or who's been living abroad for that matter tends to be a snob, conceited, arrogant, vain, self-centered or big headed! They perceive themselves as superior. They're so full of themselves and they think they're better than anyone else!

What really annoys me is when you try to have conversations with them and they would rather speak English than Tagalog! They speak English as if to prove that they're better when in fact they're struggling with the grammar! (trying hard ba!)

I mean despite my efforts to talk to them in Tagalog, they refused to answer back in English! It is of course a completely different story for Filipinos who were born and raised somewhere else his/her entire life and can only converse in English. However, for those who are too proud to speak Filipino and are very pretentious, I'd like to say "Wag mo ng pahirapan sarili mo! Paenglish-english ka pa dyan! mag Tagalog ka na lang!". In English, it translates to something like "Stop giving yourself a hard time! You keep talking in English! will you just speak in Tagalog!".

It's a shame though that I can't fully translate that sentence with as much conviction and impact as when it is said in Tagalog.

Even Jose Rizal, our Philippine national here once said that those who don’t love their mother language are worse than the smell of a rotten fish (”Ang di marunong magmahal sa sariling wika ay mas masahol pa sa malansa at mabahong isda.”)

[cheesewiz]

actually i thought only filipinos are like that of attitude but my indian workmate have the same complaint that some indians are snobbish specially if they are Brits already or they think they are rich

i would say im not snobbish but im not very friendly either when i see pinoys in diff places i just smile at them if they smile back good but if not who cares. there's loads of pinoys where i live now so that's enough headache lol

[Jay&Zobel]

actually i thought only filipinos are like that of attitude but my indian workmate have the same complaint that some indians are snobbish specially if they are Brits already or they think they are rich
lol

HMMMM... THAT'S WHAT WE CALL INGGIT! Pulling each other's hair!

[singkit]

Been here for almost 2 yrs now and still don't have Filipino friends near the area I tried. God knows, I've tried but I experienced the same. Snobbed. Ignored. Judged. Although, I have 2 friends here in the UK (they were already my friends way back home), the only time I could hear from them is by phoning them 'coz one lives in Eastbourne, the other one lives in Nottingham and me...I live in Leeds.
In my opinion, I think for many filipino newcomers here, it's psychological. The thought of being on our own in a foreign land, we tend to be sad so we seek friendship & comfort to someone like us with hopes that they will tell us their experiences here and give us all the information we need to know as someone who is just new in the UK. Knowing another filipino is here, the " I-am-not-alone factor" gives us the sense of getting through all this . I know most of us here have husbands who are just there to comfort us and stand by us but sometimes, we're not sure they feel what we feel because UK is their birthplace, they don't experience a culture shock nor having to learn the local slang, the weather etc. etc. To us, this is not just an ordinary holiday trip. We left everything behind us and are starting a new life here. For filipinos being known as hospitable, it is indeed disappointing to encounter such filipinos who would treat us as if we have a communicable disease especially when they've learned we're wives of some british guys. I wonder why

[somebody]

Been here for almost 2 yrs now and still don't have Filipino friends near the area I tried. God knows, I've tried but I experienced the same. Snobbed. Ignored. Judged. Although, I have 2 friends here in the UK (they were already my friends way back home), the only time I could hear from them is by phoning them 'coz one lives in Eastbourne, the other one lives in Nottingham and me...I live in Leeds.
In my opinion, I think for many filipino newcomers here, it's psychological. The thought of being on our own in a foreign land, we tend to be sad so we seek friendship & comfort to someone like us with hopes that they will tell us their experiences here and give us all the information we need to know as someone who is just new in the UK. Knowing another filipino is here, the " I-am-not-alone factor" gives us the sense of getting through all this . I know most of us here have husbands who are just there to comfort us and stand by us but sometimes, we're not sure they feel what we feel because UK is their birthplace, they don't experience a culture shock nor having to learn the local slang, the weather etc. etc. To us, this is not just an ordinary holiday trip. We left everything behind us and are starting a new life here. For filipinos being known as hospitable, it is indeed disappointing to encounter such filipinos who would treat us as if we have a communicable disease especially when they've learned we're wives of some british guys. I wonder why

Well explained Singkit.

Do you have friends who have similar backgrounds but not pinoys? My Wife has pinoy friends but like you say relates to many recent arrivals to the uk who are non phill.
LIke you say you can relate to being away from home.

Hopefully on here you will meet some people who live near by? Piamed and his lovely Wife live in Leeds I belive.

[singkit]

Well explained Singkit.

Do you have friends who have similar backgrounds but not pinoys? My Wife has pinoy friends but like you say relates to many recent arrivals to the uk who are non phill.
LIke you say you can relate to being away from home.

Hopefully on here you will meet some people who live near by? Piamed and his lovely Wife live in Leeds I belive.

Nope, AndyPaul. I don't have friends with similar backgrounds. But I do have friendly relations with my colleagues. I treat this as my blessings. Working is the next best thing ever happened to me here in the UK because atleast I can have a little chat with my them aside from my hubby who, like you do, been worrying about the clothes shop and shoes store

[vbkelly]

i am a british now but it doesn't mean that you ignore your fellowmen, one time i meet a group of filipino in city centre i did tried to say hi in tagalog to them but some of them was ignored me, i was found out they are nurses but still they are filipino.

[somebody]

i am a british now but it doesn't mean that you ignore your fellowmen, one time i meet a group of filipino in city centre i did tried to say hi in tagalog to them but some of them was ignored me, i was found out they are nurses but still they are filipino.

Do you say hello to every Brit you meet in phill and anywhere else in the world?

By that reckoning should I say a few words to every Brit i see in the UK? While Phils greet every phill they seen in Phill?

Everyone should say hello to everyone just in case they were the same nationality as them but look or sounded different?


Only joking around

[joebloggs]

Everyone should say hello to everyone just in case they were the same nationality as them but look or sounded different?

my misses was chatting to a Filipino at work in english, and the Filipino asked her what country she was from, the Filipino was shocked when my misses told her that shes from the Philippines to, the Filipino said "oh i thought you was Chinese"

don't ever ask the misses if she is Chinese, or she will explode

[somebody]

my misses was chatting to a Filipino at work in english, and the Filipino asked her what country she was from, the Filipino was shocked when my misses told her that shes from the Philippines to, the Filipino said "oh i thought you was Chinese"

don't ever ask the misses if she is Chinese, or she will explode

My Wife gets the same they are not sure if she is phill? Also if she is a half caste, child of two phills etc. Many Indians think she is indian.

Better go and ask viewer if she is chinese

[adam&chryss]

Do you say hello to every Brit you meet in phill and anywhere else in the world?

By that reckoning should I say a few words to every Brit i see in the UK? While Phils greet every phill they seen in Phill?

Everyone should say hello to everyone just in case they were the same nationality as them but look or sounded different?


Only joking around

I agree with your comments. I`ve been to a few places round the world and I can`t say every time I see another Brit that I say hi or that they do either.
Having said that I can`t imagine ignoring someone if they say hi or hello.
I`m not sure about this so maybe you can help me but do Filipinos that come here of their own accord have a different attitude to those that come here with a partner?
If so then would that explain the attitude?

[aromulus]

Funny occurrence today....

We went to church in the morning and at the end of mass, a small girl in her father's arms was smiling at me, so I said "hallo kulot"...

The bloke nearly fainted whilst looking at me puzzled....
So the mrs said something in klingon, and then walked away.
I kinda told her to go back and have a chat with him, to ask where the Filipinos normally meet around here.
While they were nattering twenty to the dozen, the woman from Tesco turns up and starts talking as well, then another one....

By then I was puffin' on a cancer stick outside...... Thinking... Job done.....

I will keep you posted, but I think it may well be a case of inbred terminal shyness from everybody....