Am I just being paranoid or is something wrong?

[flomike]

A few people have mentioned it now, but I don't know about going out there. I think most people in my shoes would have their suspicions that there's somebody else involved here. I'm not prepared to go all that way just to find out for sure. That time and money would be better spent on meeting somebody new.

Imo. she's still young may be she realized that she can't commit yet and being a step mum of your children scared her or may be her auntie promised something to her that she can't say NO..may be a rich Japanese lol ....who knows and only her knows what's going on.

i think that's the best way to move on and find someone new there's load of filipina out there (if you're still looking for pinay) sincere and worth your time and love. One thing for sure its not your lost its her lost...All the best

[Jay&Zobel]

ooooohhhhh...

YOUR STORY RINGS A BELL.... i know someone who is in the same boat as you are:

The girl would like to go some country as a tourist but the intention is to work. To earn money ang pay off their family's debt.

The bloke is an English, quite well-off and is so willing to offer all his life to that girl. Marry her and pay the debts, promising her good life... But the thing is their relationship is too new/fresh... So it was like, is their relationship only based on a gold rush? Or just pity? or just love?

But before even meeting the guy, this girl already pre-arranged with her family that she will leave the country to get a job & pay off the debts... Now, she met the guy and offering her LOADS of things...

She is in dilemma...
Family over Love (?) or is it love?
Work or Marry?
Their Original (Family) Decision working abroad or Go for the Gold?
Dignity or Promises?
Left or Right?
Better or the Best?


Hmmmmm...

I think until now, she can't decide...

But the bloke is so inlove with her... But the girl don't want to just settle with him just because...

[nidadonnachie@y]

u r not bieng paranoid. in my openion most of aall the answer here is right i do agree with mrs.jmajor coz,im a pilipina too married with scotish guy who is now in uk and just waiting for me to get there. b4 we have the same communication like u and ur gf i never miss to contact him while his still in uk,we always chat everyday i tx him everyday i even call him just to hear his voice makes me so happy,there is no exuses if u really wants to.but there is a lot of exuses of u dont want to. anyway goodluck to u hope taht u hear more reason from her y she act that way.

[D&G]

That time and money would be better spent on meeting somebody new.

Well, then, start to forget about her...u can't start looking for a new girl when she is still in your heart and mind.

[Mrs.JMajor]

. That time and money would be better spent on meeting somebody new.

i can refer you one,she is member here on the forum

Are you Bald,Big Heart and Blue eyes ?

[triple5]

haha, I don't think I'm lavander's type, I still have a full head of hair.

[lavander]

i can refer you one,she is member here on the forum

Are you Bald,Big Heart and Blue eyes ?

Ha ha ha ha....

:
haha, I don't think I'm lavander's type, I still have a full head of hair. :

[Jay&Zobel]

ooooohhhhh...

YOUR STORY RINGS A BELL.... i know someone who is in the same boat as you are:

The girl would like to go some country as a tourist but the intention is to work. To earn money ang pay off their family's debt.

The bloke is an English, quite well-off and is so willing to offer all his life to that girl. Marry her and pay the debts, promising her good life... But the thing is their relationship is too new/fresh... So it was like, is their relationship only based on a gold rush? Or just pity? or just love?

But before even meeting the guy, this girl already pre-arranged with her family that she will leave the country to get a job & pay off the debts... Now, she met the guy and offering her LOADS of things...

She is in dilemma...
Family over Love (?) or is it love?
Work or Marry?
Their Original (Family) Decision working abroad or Go for the Gold?
Dignity or Promises?
Left or Right?
Better or the Best?


Hmmmmm...

I think until now, she can't decide...

But the bloke is so inlove with her... But the girl don't want to just settle with him just because...

ANyway guys, hehe can you please say anything regarding my post here? WHat do you think? I should have put this in another thread but was thinking the story was kind of similar with TRIPLE 5

[triple5]

Hi Zobel, I'm not sure if it's similar to my story or not. I mean your friend's dilemna seems to be a Work or Marry decision. I haven't made any promises of paying family debts or marriage, or even tried to talk her out of going to Japan. Like I said when we talked about it we were both excited about meeting up there.

[Mrs.JMajor]

haha, I don't think I'm lavander's type, I still have a full head of hair.

who knows why not give a try

[Jay&Zobel]

Hi Zobel, I'm not sure if it's similar to my story or not. I mean your friend's dilemna seems to be a Work or Marry decision. I haven't made any promises of paying family debts or marriage, or even tried to talk her out of going to Japan. Like I said when we talked about it we were both excited about meeting up there.

yeah... i know... she wasnt exactly my "friend friend" just some one i know...

thank you!

i pray all things will go well with you!

thank you...

[asiansmiler]

I have also in somewhat similar situation... My partner is in UK and we havent married or anything yet, but we are in this special relationship for almost a year now, turning one year this March, to be exact. Visited me thrice, went to a holiday trip to Indonesia together and when recession kicks in, his view about everything just changed. He stopped communicating from me for two months, rarely gets a phone call, which he used to call me daily. I am fully aware of his going through. The weather in the UK is miserable (cold), sorry that's how he calls it. He works in a big supermarket for longer hours, about 12-14 hours a day, makes him tired. he has health issues too. But I was wondering why things changed. I asked him, he said, life in the UK is way way too different from your life in Thailand. I am so wanting to make this relationship work... But I do not know where it is heading, at the moment, I have raised the idea of me coming to visit him to the UK this April, and he said yes. People change, people have issues, and sometimes people are complicated, and hard to understand. It is our call, each individual's call whether to continue or to move on...

[triple5]

Hi Asiansmiler, yes you're situation sounds very similar to mine, and I can understand your frustration. I'm sure, like me, you've played it over and over in your mind what could have changed. Like you say, sometimes people are complicated and not much you can do about that. I hope things work out the way you hope.

I'm going to make one last effort, one more email to see if I can finally get some answers. If I don't get a reply within a few days definitely time to move on.

[cheesewiz]

I'm going to make one last effort, one more email to see if I can finally get some answers. If I don't get a reply within a few days definitely time to move on.

there's a saying

Don't be afraid to give up
the good for the great

good luck and if nothing happen with your persitence just move on there's a thousands of filipinas out there waiting for you

[joebloggs]

Hi Asiansmiler, yes you're situation sounds very similar to mine, and I can understand your frustration. I'm sure, like me, you've played it over and over in your mind what could have changed. Like you say, sometimes people are complicated and not much you can do about that. I hope things work out the way you hope.

I'm going to make one last effort, one more email to see if I can finally get some answers. If I don't get a reply within a few days definitely time to move on.

you need to know the truth, then one way or the other you can move on, any chance that you can contact her family/ friends and see if they can tell you whats going on, do you have any of their mobile number/email/facebook etc so you can contact them ?

or keep texting or emailing her til she breaks, asking what is the problem, and the least she can do is give you an explanation !

[LEAHnew]

you need to know the truth, then one way or the other you can move on, any chance that you can contact her family/ friends and see if they can tell you whats going on, do you have any of their mobile number/email/facebook etc so you can contact them ?

or keep texting or emailing her til she breaks, asking what is the problem, and the least she can do is give you an explanation !

I agree to Joe you need to know tha truth and better explanation

As for having contacts to a family member is very important. When my fiance first visit here, he became friends to my brother and one of my cousin and got a chance to get their contacts
I had a lot of sulking moment
but when i'm in this mode he prefer to talk them rather than me

Goodluck triple5

[fhara]

hi tripple5..
i agree of them..coz if she love you and interested on you,.. even how remote her place is she'll find way..coz thats what i do also when i lost my internet connection before im like cuckoo transfering from 1 internet cafe to another just to find nice network so that we can see eachother on cam and talk coz its different if its just a chat..and my family support it also,no one touches or borrow my phone coz they know that its very important to me coz they know that john will call me or txt me anytime and also john have all the numbers,my mom,dad,sister,brother and even my bestfriend...sounds crazy but it helps so that theres no reason he cant find me also...but i wish u all and u deserve to be happy..take care...

[asiansmiler]

I strongly believe that the bottom line here is that, do we really know the person we are chatting to? Have you met him/her in person? Sometimes, we are just simply driven by our emotions and we tend to fill in the void by answering questions that could really be answered by her, whether she tells you an honest answer or a total lie... you have your intuition about it, you feel it, it is not paranoia, i would say, maybe it is, but if you are in a relationship, you could easily smell the infusion of something is going wrong... you gotta ask her, if you are satisfied with her answer and trust her, then move forward together, if not, move on... there are plenty of fish, but sometimes, in a million, there is only one that can truly win our hearts, tough, but hey, life is beautiful... hang on in there! Be strong...

[fhara]

I strongly believe that the bottom line here is that, do we really know the person we are chatting to? Have you met him/her in person? Sometimes, we are just simply driven by our emotions and we tend to fill in the void by answering questions that could really be answered by her, whether she tells you an honest answer or a total lie... you have your intuition about it, you feel it, it is not paranoia, i would say, maybe it is, but if you are in a relationship, you could easily smell the infusion of something is going wrong... you gotta ask her, if you are satisfied with her answer and trust her, then move forward together, if not, move on... there are plenty of fish, but sometimes, in a million, there is only one that can truly win our hearts, tough, but hey, life is beautiful... hang on in there! Be strong...

[triple5]

I got an email this morning.

She's apologised for the way she has been with me. Her reasons, she says, for not always answering me or coming online too much is that she worries about our future. She wants us to marry and settle down, but feels it may never happen, so to stop herself getting hurt in the future, and getting her hopes for nothing, she sometimes tries to distance herself from me emotionally.

She talked about how lonely she feels and how difficult she finds it being apart from somebody she loves, but no matter what she would always stay in touch.

I guess this stems from me dodging the "marriage" subject, and my commitments here in england. tbh, I was just over the moon to hear from her.

How much do these marriage thingys cost anyway?

[Sconnie]

How much do these marriage thingys cost anyway?

Your Life, heart and soul

Seriously, pleased you have heard something positive.
Don't rush yet, take it easy, BUT GET YOURSELF OVER THERE

[triple5]

Thanks sconnie, will do.

[Sim11UK]

Glad to hear that...Keep smiling.
Can't remember how many times you've met, but a trip out there is the only way now.

[flomike]

I got an email this morning.

She's apologised for the way she has been with me. Her reasons, she says, for not always answering me or coming online too much is that she worries about our future. She wants us to marry and settle down, but feels it may never happen, so to stop herself getting hurt in the future, and getting her hopes for nothing, she sometimes tries to distance herself from me emotionally.

She talked about how lonely she feels and how difficult she finds it being apart from somebody she loves, but no matter what she would always stay in touch.

I guess this stems from me dodging the "marriage" subject, and my commitments here in england. tbh, I was just over the moon to hear from her.

How much do these marriage thingys cost anyway?

my parents said before i got married think a million times, im glad i didn't do that...i said YES right away and its the right decision i ever made.

wish you all the best and hope that you made the right decision too

[Jay&Zobel]

I got an email this morning.

She's apologised for the way she has been with me. Her reasons, she says, for not always answering me or coming online too much is that she worries about our future. She wants us to marry and settle down, but feels it may never happen, so to stop herself getting hurt in the future, and getting her hopes for nothing, she sometimes tries to distance herself from me emotionally.

She talked about how lonely she feels and how difficult she finds it being apart from somebody she loves, but no matter what she would always stay in touch.

I guess this stems from me dodging the "marriage" subject, and my commitments here in england. tbh, I was just over the moon to hear from her.

How much do these marriage thingys cost anyway?

THIS IS THE COMPLETE LIST OF EVERYTHING!!! Posted by Moderator Pete in 2004

HEHEHE... U MIGHT WANT TO READ ALL THE THREADS!!! enjoy!


http://filipinaroses.com/showthread.php?t=152


think about the currnt echange rate too... £1=PhP65-69.00

[Belmontboy]

I went through some difficult times with Jessica when we first met. We met online in June 2005 and things were nice, and sweet, but then in November that year, she changed her friendster Status from "in a relationship" to "its complicated" and it felt like a knife in my heart. When I confronted her about it, she was very defensive and never gave me a straight answer...later, in Feb 2006 when I planned to visit her for the 1st time, she went cold on me just before and this hurt so much. She was short with me on the phone, but what hurt the most was the fact that she denied anything was wrong.....

After sending her e-mails, and using a bit of reverse psychology to make her feel as I was, she finaly confessed that she needed space, because she was getting hassle from her family about me, and was worried so much about what her papa would think, so it made her stressed and worried to the point that she didn't want to put all her hopes in the relationship.....understandable i suppose.

I still came out to see her that Feb, and things were ok, and she was more honest then, but when I came back home, it started again, she would go cold, act strange and when I demanded an explanation, all I ever got was "change topic, change topic" I knew something was up and that was the worst feeling in the world, the NOT knowing and wondering what was going on. I then told her I wanted some space, and then I stopped speaking to her for a while and boy, did that shake her up. She called me, and texted me saying how sorry she was and how she realised she'd been treating me so badly, she said she was so worried about our relationship lasting, that she put up a defense barrier to prevent herself getting hurt. I spoke to her VERY strongly about how important it is to be honest and this worked for a while, until she started acting wierd again. At that time, I went on a course for a week, and we were out of contact, and when I came back, there were e-mails and voicemails from her begging me to forgive her and how she really missed me. Of course, it gave me so many doubts, but, I chose to visit her again in July that year, and things were fine when we were together, but, all the doubts that she put in me were always there because of the way she had treated me. 2007 was better because she learned the importance of being honest and became much more forthcoming with her feelings, yes, we still argued lots, but, it didn't feel awkward like before, and felt "normal" like any other couple. This helped to heal the wounds from 2006 and the Fiance' visa we have applied for is to see if we really CAN be together. So, there were times when I doubted my girl, and times when I was so unsure, but I always gave her the chance and I'm giving her this 6 months to test once and for all that we are right for each other. In your case, you HAVE to follow your heart and do what your instinct tells you.

Hope this helps !

[triple5]

Thanks for sharing that belmontboy, it does help, as it does sound remarkably familiar. It makes me think if this is something we're going to go through every few months I probably won't have the patience for it. For somebody so young I'm a little baffled by her urgency to marry and settle down. She always said she wanted to be with the right guy and never go through a divorce, so it seems strange that she would seem so sure about me having only spent 2 weeks together.

I don't think you can really be certain about a relationship until you've lived together for at least a few months. Like you said, 6 months should be a good test.

Best of luck with it.

wish you all the best and hope that you made the right decision too

Thanks flomike

Thanks for the link, Zobel, that's a very helpful guide for getting a rough idea of costs.

[Eljohno]

For somebody so young I'm a little baffled by her urgency to marry and settle down

.

Its common for young girls over there to want to settle down and get married as they can be made to feel like there is something wrong with them if they are not married by about 25, sad but true!!

[PeterB]

Perhaps, if we're not too busy with the arrival of our new baby, you would like to meet up during your visit to Davao?

[triple5]

Thanks Peter. I just pm'd you with my email add.