Am I just being paranoid or is something wrong?

[triple5]

Although I see what you''re saying, jta, i don't really think that's the root of the problem here. Japan was only supposed to be for 3 months. We talked about it a lot, and both agreed it would be good to spend that time together, just the 2 of us. When I was there for 2 weeks a lot of the time was with her family and they restricted her somewhat to the time we spent together alone. It was only the last 2 days that we really got some quality alone time.

I think if you want to carry on pursuing this, then you need to get out there pronto.

I'm a bit tied up with work for the next few months. Realistically, March is the earliest I could go. But the way things are, I don't know what I could be walking into.

Before this I had a LDR for 3 years, where I would spend 3 months at a time with my girl. Come back to the UK for a month or so, and I alternated it like that for 3 years. She knows about this, so I wouldn't blame her if she felt some bitterness about the fact that we've only spent 2 weeks together in a year. It was just more financially possible before.

With me spending a lot of time abroad over the past five years, I've got used to LDR's and sad goodbyes, and I know I haven't considered how tough this has been for her. I imagine there's pressure there, neighbours gossiping, family issues etc. I took it for granted she'd be able to cope with it.

[Sim11UK]

I know it's easier said than done, but how else can you resolve your problems, by not going out there?

[flomike]

LDR is really tough that's for sure. People here are very lucky that they only waited a few weeks to get their visas. In our case (2003) I lodged my application i think June I waited for 3 months for my interview that was Aug I got my visa mid Sept. my husband is the unhappiest person in the world that time. But alls well that ends well...we're together forever fand or the last 5 years we're never been separated at all except going to work