I went through some difficult times with Jessica when we first met. We met online in June 2005 and things were nice, and sweet, but then in November that year, she changed her friendster Status from "in a relationship" to "its complicated" and it felt like a knife in my heart. When I confronted her about it, she was very defensive and never gave me a straight answer...later, in Feb 2006 when I planned to visit her for the 1st time, she went cold on me just before and this hurt so much. She was short with me on the phone, but what hurt the most was the fact that she denied anything was wrong.....
After sending her e-mails, and using a bit of reverse psychology to make her feel as I was, she finaly confessed that she needed space, because she was getting hassle from her family about me, and was worried so much about what her papa would think, so it made her stressed and worried to the point that she didn't want to put all her hopes in the relationship.....understandable i suppose.
I still came out to see her that Feb, and things were ok, and she was more honest then, but when I came back home, it started again, she would go cold, act strange and when I demanded an explanation, all I ever got was "change topic, change topic" I knew something was up and that was the worst feeling in the world, the NOT knowing and wondering what was going on. I then told her I wanted some space, and then I stopped speaking to her for a while and boy, did that shake her up. She called me, and texted me saying how sorry she was and how she realised she'd been treating me so badly, she said she was so worried about our relationship lasting, that she put up a defense barrier to prevent herself getting hurt. I spoke to her VERY strongly about how important it is to be honest and this worked for a while, until she started acting wierd again. At that time, I went on a course for a week, and we were out of contact, and when I came back, there were e-mails and voicemails from her begging me to forgive her and how she really missed me. Of course, it gave me so many doubts, but, I chose to visit her again in July that year, and things were fine when we were together, but, all the doubts that she put in me were always there because of the way she had treated me. 2007 was better because she learned the importance of being honest and became much more forthcoming with her feelings, yes, we still argued lots, but, it didn't feel awkward like before, and felt "normal" like any other couple. This helped to heal the wounds from 2006 and the Fiance' visa we have applied for is to see if we really CAN be together. So, there were times when I doubted my girl, and times when I was so unsure, but I always gave her the chance and I'm giving her this 6 months to test once and for all that we are right for each other. In your case, you HAVE to follow your heart and do what your instinct tells you.
Hope this helps !
