I dont even know where to begin. Sorry. Maybe I belong on some forum for the severely mentally ill. I feel like it right now anyway.
My Filipina GF, of over a year now, is just a fantastic GF in so many ways. Yes, its been a long distance relationship, but she has really made up for that by devoted contact every day and every night. In short, she`s great. She is great company, we have fun and get on better perhaps than I have with any woman before. She loves me true, there can be no doubt and I love her. I even asked her to marry me. She said yes, but postponed our plans for her to get a job.
That she did recently, and not really far from my hometown (yes, I live in the USA). She says its better this way. Shes in her early 20s, I`m 41. She wants to be independant for a while, to save money, to become a full-time resident. Also, this leaves any last doubts I may have that she might be incredibly devoted and call me 700 times a day for the last year because she wants to get over here. She did it all on her own(cept borrowing airfare from her parents) Her family are good people, well known and respected in their town in the Phil. She talks much of our possible (she wants very much) wedding plans, pehaps in a year?
It all sounds pretty good huh? She moved over here a few weeks ago to a city (quick cheap flight from me) with a large Filipino community. I visited her there once already(our 2nd get together now). Our time together was fantastic.
Yes, theres a problem (of course). In short, after I get back home again a few days later (2 weeks ago now) she drops the bombshell on me (kind of let it dawn on me) that she sometimes finds women attactive. I just said- ahmm...ok. Then a week later she went to the mall and called me and had me speak to 2 Filipina she met there. She was obviously flirting with them. She hooked up and got a number. NOW last night she calls me up for a 3 way call with this one she hooked up with, a woman in her early 30s, just a few weeks there herself. We all chat a bit, the woman is looking for a boyfriend etc. She says she wants to meet me personally next time I`m up. Before I get off the 3 way my girl tells me that shes going to spend the night with this woman, then she says shes going to SLEEP with to make sure I got it. I tell them fine, nice to talk etc. bye.
Now, keep in mind I`m kinda old school about stuff like that and was in a long marriage before that that problem never came up in. I told my girl a long time ago how I felt about a man touching her. But a woman? WOW
This is REALLY blowing my mind. I dont want to tell cuz I think that would tend to shut her down. But iti s blowing my mind. I`m not even sure how its supposed to work. I just keep saying "OK" and waiting to see what happens next. My best guess is that she wants a woman lover (friend) there and for me to visit when I can and maybe we hang as a group sometimes. I dont know. I have no idea. I`m out of my element here. Funny ironic thing is as a younger man I used to fantisize about such things happening to me. But now I`m not so sure it seems all that great. As for her, I know she would swear she wouldnt want another man. But she said something about that I can do what I like, she`s not there, just dont leave her. And I guess she wants a lady friend.
I was wondering what people in this forum would think about my problem.
I have often wondered about the Filipinos and how things are worked between couples and spouses when so often the distances are great and it can be a LONG time before one might again see their love. Can anybody speak on that, about how common this type of thing is in Filipino culture now?
The "arrangements" that couples make with each other, yes, and also bisexuality. I really dont know much about.
I really love her, but whoa!This all seems pretty wild to me.
If she doesn't seem to hold any affection for you, and doesn't care what your needs and wants are in this life...that's when your in a bad relationship I'd say! So my advice is stay in this relationship! Just let things fly! See how it goes!
Originally Posted by bornatbirth
Every body different some it could work out,for how long don't now others if you really truly love the person wouldn't shear there loved ones and tell them,only you can decide.
