Thanks for the advice guys, I was gonna start my own thread originally to ask for advice, but came across this one before i got around to it, and it seemed to parallel my situation in some ways. Think I will leave the Visitor Visa for now, as I wasn't very hopeful before seeing this thread, and am even less now!
The other alternative is I leave England and live here, so might be interesting to hear from others that have made that choice, and how they have found it!