I have just wasted almost an entire afternoon attempting to close two internet savings accounts [which were'nt being used anyway]. There was as usual no email address to write to, to request the closure, and no postal address that looked as if it would get to the right place, there was a branch locally for one, but I was trying to avoid wasting the hour or more it would take to drive, get parked etc., so I took a deep breath and dialled the 0800 nos.
I got ready to listen to the rubbish and lies "we really appreciate your business etc etc" if you really appreciated my business you would answer the stupid phone and not force me to listen to this rubbish!!, "we are experiencing an unexpectedly heavy volume of calls" really - for the entire day, every single day?!! "Here is some really annoying music to listen to, and here is a stream of incredibly annoying ads" Please, give me strength! At no stage did I actually get speaking to a human being, or were they even close to guessing what I wanted. Four wasted ten minute calls later [and they are richer by what - 7p per minute or something], I now have less hair than previously, face is red, heart beating faster and I'm sure my blood pressure is up !! I'm getting nowhere, so I drive to the town, get parked and walk to the branch, where I'm able to close it, thankfully. Almost two hours wasted so far, one down, one to go.
I eventually get a non geograpic number for the remaining one, and eventually get a suit with a real voice, but of course he can't close the account, that would be too simple! [there is no money in this account, they simply need to delete me] He does however tell me not to select any options on the 0800 no and eventually I'll get through. Numerous calls later and I get through, then after verifying my entire life story several times, account nos, customer id nos, mother's maiden name, important dates, important places, Barrack Obama's tel.no. etc etc etc. I get through to a pleasant wee girl [and there's no point screaming at her, she has'nt set up this system], and she is able to close the account in about 20 seconds. Anticlimax. I put the phone down, absolutely, completly and totally drained, and I've no hair left [not a lot to start with]. I feel as if I've worked a 16 hour day. Up untill 2pm, when I started this, I'd had a good and productive day - now, I just have'nt the energy to start anything else. And there is no one to yell at or complain to "the lines to our compliant dept are experiencing an unexpectedly heavy --- blah blah blah! Please try later. Our answering machine is'nt working due to an unexpectedly heavy -----" " we're sorry but we have spent all your money on worthles securities and due to staff cutbacks there is no one left to answer the phone, but don't worry, Gordon will throw us a few billion" - yeah, think I get the picture. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Then I fell asleep, I dreamt that the originators of these 0800 numbers and the managers of the institutions who bought these systems were shipwrecked on an island with nothing except a phone, and the rescue ship that had provisions etc but did'nt know of the shipwreck was an 0800 no, with a long que of calls, and which happened to be "experiencing an unexpectedly heavy volume of calls" We can dream, can't we!!
Extortionate bank charges!
Originally Posted by nigel
