Devastated - Need advice

[Sim11UK]

Hi! everyone

Real good advice here
I have to thank everyone, who took the time to reply, it's very heart warming.

Mr. Aposhark I actually was pressing to get married on the next trip, obviously she was stalling...Should of seen it coming.

Ginapeterb thank you...it's over as far as I'm concerned. Like you say, there are certain decisions in life, where you don't have to think, you just know. I made that commitment to her, but she couldn't do the same to me.

I have to say, it was a huge relief, making this thread. It took a huge weight off my shoulders.

Tried to phone her earlier, twice in quick succession to get some answers,...No reply.

Sent her a text, that's it, enough is enough.

[Eljohno]

You will meet someone else who will make you very happy as there are plenty of filipino girls out there that will treat you with respect.

[ginapeterb]

Simuk


Good for you mate, you've made the right decision, you have dropped the monkey from your shoulder, bring on the next one, thats far better for you to say that, than her to say, "Bring on the latest sucker"

I am happy for you.

Best wishes and good hunting

[KeithD]

Plenty of singles signed up on my dating site this week!

[chris40]

i do sympathise with you regarding whats happened.maybe some people reading this have some single filipina relative who they could recomend as a genuine person.

[flomike]

...it's over as far as I'm concerned. Like you say, there are certain decisions in life, where you don't have to think, you just know. I made that commitment to her, but she couldn't do the same to me.

sorry to hear your heart ache a very nice love story that ends no where. I feel for you but sometimes you loose some you win some. For sure its her lost not yours. I know you are one of the members here who always give good advice specially when it comes to love. Good luck to you and for sure you will find a fine woman that you deserve. All the best

[joebloggs]

..it's over as far as I'm concerned. Like you say, there are certain decisions in life, where you don't have to think, you just know. I made that commitment to her, but she couldn't do the same to me.

i don't know whether to be sad or happy for you

can you wake away just like that from someone you was prepared to marry ?

without knowing the real reason why she is acting like this ??

easier said than done...

but most are probably right, if she will not talk to you, nothing you can do but move on and forward

[Ady]

Good luck Sim.

It is good you made some decision, maybe the toughest decision of all. Stick to it, that is my advice. And I wish you good luck in the future. You deserve it!

[aposhark]

Mr. Aposhark I actually was pressing to get married on the next trip, obviously she was stalling...Should of seen it coming.

Hi Sim11UK, ah ok, that says a lot.
If only we could understand wimmin

It will take time, but you are strong and as Keith says, there are so many singles on his site, and also so many lovely alluring smiles that we all get when we travel in the Phils.
If it is the end as it looks like, don't be put off by the Phils, it really is the land of absolutely beautiful ladies.
Of course being married to one, I don't really see them, people tell me so
(I have to look the other way, before I get the silent treatment - the Filipina jealousy is mind-boggling at times )

Best of luck and always remember the kisses in the night

[Sim11UK]

Thanks everybody

Can anyone tell me what AJRAAMANT means?...It's quite important.

[Jay&Zobel]

Good for you Sim!!!!

Remember it's her loss not yours!!!

[aposhark]

Thanks everybody

Can anyone tell me what AJRAAMANT means?...It's quite important.

Just asked the lady at the hotel reception, she has never heard of it......

[Mrs.JMajor]

Thanks everybody

Can anyone tell me what AJRAAMANT means?...It's quite important.

No such kind of words Sim, by the way,hope you really happy enough,just ask on the forum f you want some one new,there are loads of serious for relationship filipina Sim,i can guarantee you and good luck mate

[Sim11UK]

I know you probably think I'm crazy? But I've heard from her.
I really had put her in my past.

We've spoken on the phone.
She kept on saying this word. She spelt it out. "Ajreemant?" I couldn't understand as she was crying so much.

As I'm typing this I'm beginning to think the word she means is AGREEMENT.

This man has something over her family? Her brother has told her she must come home now, as has her sister in America.

I can't help being involved at the moment. We have been close & she is still my "fiancee?"

I'm trying to get her to runaway at the moment, ignore her family.

Regardless of what happens, I feel there is some sort of human rights issue here.
She really is distraught & frightened.

[aposhark]

Travel ?

[KeithD]

Just do what I said, move her to another island. If she won't go now, then she won't go in the future. She can sort the family out later when you are married and sending $$$$$$

[PAT]

I agree with admin Sim....really hope you and your fiance will surpass this out.

[Jay&Zobel]

This is difficult...

You really love her...

[Sim11UK]

Just do what I said, move her to another island. If she won't go now, then she won't go in the future. She can sort the family out later when you are married and sending $$$$$$

Yes this is what i'm trying to do.
I've just got home early because of the snow.
Tried to call her, but can't get through at rhe moment.

I want her to just pack a bag & get off the island ASAP

[Mrs.JMajor]

yes,right ! if she follow ,jump for joy............

[Jay&Zobel]

Yes this is what i'm trying to do.
I've just got home early because of the snow.
Tried to call her, but can't get through at rhe moment.

I want her to just pack a bag & get off the island ASAP

u think she will cope up? living away from her "dear" family... i pray so... it is high time for her to decide... her future with you or be stucked...

i admire your perseverance, i pray she really is worthy of all your compassionate heart...

[IainBusby]

Just do what I said, move her to another island. If she won't go now, then she won't go in the future. She can sort the family out later when you are married and sending $$$$$$

Sounds like a good plan, but I would make it sort of an ultimatum, because it seems to me that your allowing her to draw this situation out. Like the boss says, if she won't go now, she won't go later, even when you've gone through hundreds of crying down the phone episodes.

Don't take my lack of sympathy in the wrong way, there maybe genuine reasons behind all of this and her distress may also be genuine, but at the end of the day, a wife, or prospective wife must have and must demonstrate genuine commitment to her prospective husband.

If she won't move away from her family to resolve this situation, then I don't think her commitment to you is as strong as it will need to be to see you through to marriage and all the visa hassle, etc, etc, that will have to be overcome in the future. She could pack a suitcase and jump on an overnight ferry to Cebu for about P600, then book into a hotel for a couple of nights while she looks around for a boarding house. I'm sure there are lots of girls on this forum over in Cebu that would help her to find somewhere to live over there. The question is, is her commitment to your relationship strong enough to make her do this.

Iain.

[Sim11UK]

Sounds like a good plan, but I would make it sort of an ultimatum, because it seems to me that your allowing her to draw this situation out. Like the boss says, if she won't go now, she won't go later, even when you've gone through hundreds of crying down the phone episodes.

Don't take my lack of sympathy in the wrong way, there maybe genuine reasons behind all of this and her distress may also be genuine, but at the end of the day, a wife, or prospective wife must have and must demonstrate genuine commitment to her prospective husband.

If she won't move away from her family to resolve this situation, then I don't think her commitment to you is as strong as it will need to be to see you through to marriage and all the visa hassle, etc, etc, that will have to be overcome in the future. She could pack a suitcase and jump on an overnight ferry to Cebu for about P600, then book into a hotel for a couple of nights while she looks around for a boarding house. I'm sure there are lots of girls on this forum over in Cebu that would help her to find somewhere to live over there. The question is, is her commitment to your relationship strong enough to make her do this.

Iain.

Thanks IainBusby this is exactly what she must do & it's what I've been thinking too.

[PeterB]

If she would get herself down to Tagum, I'm sure that we could find her somewhere to stay.

I'm not surprised that she should find herself bowing to parental pressure. Ruby's 29 y/o brother has just got engaged. It seems, to me, that the engagement, and agreement, is something that the parents work out. Ruby's mum even gave a commitment to the girl's parents that her son would not break the engagement.

[Sim11UK]

Thanks Peterb for your offer of support.

Such draconian family laws. This really did come out of the blue, considering I'd been to the family home twice & was fed & made very welcome.

We've arranged to talk online, early tomorrow morning UK time. I can't get much sense out of her, in her present state on the phone...Then she's leaving for the Province.

Who knows if she'll come back?

[Rob & Anne]

i think theres something shes not telling you, somethings not right, it sounds strange coz u said uve met his dad and his dad even told u that u can marry her..In the phils i never really heard about 33 year old filipinas still being forced by their parents to marry someone unless if shes a muslim coz thats their custom they marry who their parents ask them to marry wether they like it or not, but if shes a christian then its very strange. Her story sounds like a really big fat lie...sorry...hope u'l find out about the whole truth..

[somebody]

Be strong Sim. Sounds a complicated situation as others have suggested best to offer her the chance to leave if as a grown woman she decides not to well thats her choice i guess.
Another boyfriend, parents cant afford to lose another carer/daughter, she herself has cold feet, only she really knows.

Whatever happens chin up mate and look after yourself

[Sim11UK]

Be strong Sim. Sounds a complicated situation as others have suggested best to offer her the chance to leave if as a grown woman she decides not to well thats her choice i guess.
Another boyfriend, parents cant afford to lose another carer/daughter, she herself has cold feet, only she really knows.

Whatever happens chin up mate and look after yourself

Thanks for that somebody

I'm resigned to my fate. It's not going to kill me, so c'est la vie.

[flomike]

At 28 I still live with my parents I have a proper job in a Travel Agency so basically I earned a living for myself just that its hard to leave your parents I don't know why? Basically you are oblige to do what they want as a sign of respect. If Im not yet home at 8pm they going to send me a text where I am or when Im home they asked me not to go home late. When I got married at 29 they are happy bec finally Im out of the house lol they are happy bec its time for me to settle down bec im not young anymore

[Sim11UK]

At 28 I still live with my parents I have a proper job in a Travel Agency so basically I earned a living for myself just that its hard to leave your parents I don't know why? Basically you are oblige to do what they want as a sign of respect. If Im not yet home at 8pm they going to send me a text where I am or when Im home they asked me not to go home late. When I got married at 29 they are happy bec finally Im out of the house lol they are happy bec its time for me to settle down bec im not young anymore

Good for you, I'm glad you finally found your independence.
I know how much the family, plays a very important role in the Philippines.

I'm not sure I'd like my mum texting me "Where are you? you naughty boy."