The non joke jokes!!

[scott&ligaya]

Does anyone here remember the fad for jokes that made no sense but you felt had to laugh just in case the others would think you a dimwit because you didn't get the joke.

e.g.

bloke goes into a paint shop and asks for emerald green gloss paint

the shop keeper says sorry I have only got olive green

to which the bloke replies

oh it's okay I've got my bike outside!!

apparently this was hilarious

I was trying to explain the concept to my filipino mates the other day and as they sometimes struggle with our "our straight forward" humour this just blew them away.

Can anyone remember any of the other non joke jokes

[nigel]

(This is alleged to be an old Irish proverb...but that's probably a lie really...but...here it is anyway....)


"Learn to cut your fingernails with your left hand, because one day you might lose your right arm!"

[nigel]

Two young girls are walking the street at night when they are approached by what looks like muggers! One of the girls say "You know that fifty pound you lent me? You can have it back now...!"

[nigel]

A woman gets these special tablets for her pet dog and her husband swallows one by mistake!! As a result he barks like a dog!! Woof! Woof! Ruff! Ruff! Like a dog! She goes to see her doctor about this and her doctor says "Give him these tablets and that should cure the problem!"

A week later her doctor calls her and says "Have those tablets cured your husband?" The woman says "No! But he has stopped going pooh pooh in the lounge!!"

[nigel]

One day a Blonde walked into the doctors office with 2 red ears.
The doctor asked what happened. She said "I was ironing and the
phone rang and I picked up the iron by mistake. "What happened
to the other ear?" the doctor asked. "They called back."

[nigel]

(Spoken by a man)... I can't get a woman 'cause I haven't been circumsized!! Women wont touch nothing unless they get something off!!