Thanks PeterB, I really appreciate the link to your story, very kind of you to share it. I see similarities in the internal battle between what I know and expect in my culture and what she sees as perfectly normal behaviour in hers. I've come to the conclusion that worrying about it is apt to lead to indigestion. So I'm going to let the cards fall where they may, and if I get done, well what's the problem. Even BHP makes a loss occasionally.