Is it me?

[Pepe n Pilar]

Hi Monkeyface,


Just want to share this article .


Nobody addressed the REAL cause of jealousy!

Like many people you might've been told "it's your fault", or "it's all in your head." Or may-be you heard you should "just let go" (of your feelings) and "get on with your life!"

How's that going for you? You might have found it didn't work.

The reason it didn't work is because...

These in your gut feelings aren't about trust -- they're about FEAR .

>fear of abandonment - feeling left on a doorstep or thrown away

>fear of loss of love - that crucial loss of connectedness

>fear of being dishonored in the relationship - feeling emotionally shipwrecked, paralyzed with humiliating images of your partner in the arms of another

>fear of being shamed in the community - feeling ashamed your family and neighbors will think you weren't a good enough partner and talk

>unresolved issues from past relationships - feelings of anger, hurt, frustration, or pain that are deeply rooted in past relationships

>lack of (you fill in the blank) issues - respect from partner, closeness, sex, attention, excitement, affection, companionship, feeling wanted, cared for, loved

>poor self esteem - the harsh inner critic constantly criticizing, punishing, and belittling

>desire for revenge or vindictive feelings - feelings of revenge only stir up the ashes of your own hurt and resentment and make your life miserable

It doesn't matter if these emotions are "real" or not. And until you examine, and begin to heal them, that bitter taste will seep in again and again.


Now, you might be wondering,
Why hasn't anyone ever told me this before?

In fact, as you may have already found, most counselors just don't know how to tackle this problem. Or, they think it's too hard to overcome.

However, you can take to help you stop the nasty feelings within seconds, stop despair from ruling your life and...


Have the Relationships You Were Meant To Have!
Goodluck.

[charlwill]

And this one too.

Jealousy arises in 'loving' relationships because of three factors:
comparison, competition, and the fear of being replaced.
If we become more autonomous and self-creating,
these three features of relationships become less significant
and hence the passion of jealousy becomes less likely.

However, within ordinary, possessive relationships, jealousy is normal:
If we find ourselvesreplaced, supplanted, traded-in for a better model,
we naturally feel a tremendous sense of loss, anger, grief, and betrayal.

This bitter feeling of hurt and hostility we call "jealousy"
can become one of the most powerful obsessions of human life.
And yet, this emotion is a social product—with deep cultural roots.
If we have learned how to feel jealous, can we unlearn this response?

If we are loved for the unique persons we are becoming,
then comparison with rivals diminishes.
And when we are no longer in competition with other women or men,
we become less vulnerable to feeling jealous.
If we become irreplaceable in our relationships, then jealousy disappears.

Thus the basic way to prevent jealousy
is to become unique and irreplaceable persons.
And becoming more Authentic may be the best way
to transcend the threat of being replaced by potential rivals.

[Les_lady888]

Like many people you might've been told "it's your fault", or "it's all in your head." Or may-be you heard you should "just let go" (of your feelings) and "get on with your life!"

How's that going for you? You might have found it didn't work.

The reason it didn't work is because...

These in your gut feelings aren't about trust -- they're about FEAR .

I somehow agree on this........but let me add that sometimes it could not be jealousy at all nor fear.......it could also be about COMMUNICATION. We all know that women and men have different ways of expressing themselves....A woman might say things which a man might perceive differently....which often results to a woman fretting, feeling vulnerable, feeling unsettled, and totally misunderstood.

But the point is...why do most men often conclude it is jealousy??? ..then questions trust??? and will say to his woman: "If only you can trust me more?".........Is she really jealous? Is she really doubting?.......or is it reallt she who is doubting? or you?,,,,,,,,,.Awww man should learn how to listen and read in between the lines.....or maybe learn to ask more and not doubt....or maybe he just have to be more and extra loving during this so-called "moody" moments of gf eh?