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Thread: Need advise on what BF said over email

  1. #1
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    Need advise on what BF said over email

    Hi Everyone,

    I just want to get another opinion on what these words mean to you:

    I hope I made sense when you called? The spiritual side to my life seems to be changing. I am putting God first again, not just going to Mass and praying but spending more time reading the scriptures and meditating like I used to do. I realise now that God has sometimes taken a back seat in my life priorities. My treatment of God has at times been unacceptable. I am also surrendering my complete free will to God. I am praying that God blesses and guides all aspects of my life (and yours) including my martial status. At this stage I have no idea what God is guiding me to do so I am patiently waiting. I can report nothing further.

    I know that we're in the "cool off" stage and he's probably having wedding jitters... but I also got the feeling that we're leading to a break-up? Help me make sense into this as I do not and cannot think logically at this point.

    The last email I sent was I told him that I support him and that I want him to know that I think of him always and that I love him. He replied: Thanks, I love you too. xx

    What shall I do now? Thanks everyone!


  2. #2
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    At this stage I have no idea what God is guiding me to do so I am patiently waiting. I can report nothing further.[/I]

    I know that we're in the "cool off" stage and he's probably having wedding jitters... but I also got the feeling that we're leading to a break-up?
    but I also got the feeling that we're leading to a break-up hes got the jitters?, guilt over something ? does he drink ?

    you need to have a good talk with him, and find out if this is over or not


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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    but I also got the feeling that we're leading to a break-up hes got the jitters?, guilt over something ? does he drink ?

    you need to have a good talk with him, and find out if this is over or not
    he doesn't drink... he's been having a "spiritual" crisis for sure... we had a talk and he has told me to be patient and not to pressure him on anything...


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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    I hope I made sense when you called? The spiritual side to my life seems to be changing. I am putting God first again, not just going to Mass and praying but spending more time reading the scriptures and meditating like I used to do. I realise now that God has sometimes taken a back seat in my life priorities. My treatment of God has at times been unacceptable. I am also surrendering my complete free will to God. I am praying that God blesses and guides all aspects of my life (and yours) including my martial status. At this stage I have no idea what God is guiding me to do so I am patiently waiting. I can report nothing further.
    What a load of rubbish.

    Coward.


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    Respected Member Bluebirdjones's Avatar
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    My tuppence worth ......

    You honestly, at the bottom of your heart, think that this guy
    will give you a rewarding, loving, supportive long-term committed
    relationship ?

    I'll answer it for you ........ NO !

    Those words echo to me doubt about his whole ethos of life....
    especially who is important in it, where's he going, and perhaps even
    his sexuality.

    Make the decision for him .... Get out now before it's too late


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    What a load of rubbish.

    Coward.
    Really?


  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdjones View Post
    You honestly, at the bottom of your heart, think that this guy
    will give you a rewarding, loving, supportive long-term committed
    relationship ?

    I'll answer it for you ........ NO !

    Those words echo to me doubt about his whole ethos of life....
    especially who is important in it, where's he going, and perhaps even
    his sexuality.

    Make the decision for him .... Get out now before it's too late
    Am I not assuming things? Would like to operate on logic, not assumptions.


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    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    Hi Everyone,

    I just want to get another opinion on what these words mean to you:

    I hope I made sense when you called? The spiritual side to my life seems to be changing. I am putting God first again, not just going to Mass and praying but spending more time reading the scriptures and meditating like I used to do. I realise now that God has sometimes taken a back seat in my life priorities. My treatment of God has at times been unacceptable. I am also surrendering my complete free will to God. I am praying that God blesses and guides all aspects of my life (and yours) including my martial status. At this stage I have no idea what God is guiding me to do so I am patiently waiting. I can report nothing further.

    I know that we're in the "cool off" stage and he's probably having wedding jitters... but I also got the feeling that we're leading to a break-up? Help me make sense into this as I do not and cannot think logically at this point.

    The last email I sent was I told him that I support him and that I want him to know that I think of him always and that I love him. He replied: Thanks, I love you too. xx

    What shall I do now? Thanks everyone!

    You could be right, he may well be looking to break up with you, but if he is, he seems to want to put the blame on God, probably in the hope that you won't feel so hurt about it if it's nothing to do with him dumping you really, just all down to God's plans for him...... and of course you.

    Iain


  9. #9
    Respected Member Bluebirdjones's Avatar
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    I am putting God first again,
    That means that you are way DOWN the list on his priorities.

    not just going to Mass and praying but spending more time reading the scriptures and meditating like I used to do.
    On your profile I see you list interests as dancing, singing, going to movies
    That is NOT gonna happen with this loser, with this religious zealot.
    With him in his "cell" reading the scriptures, you'll be lucky if you're even
    allowed a TV or radio.... let alone be allowed to listen/watch unsupervised.

    I realise now that God has sometimes taken a back seat in my life
    What ? Is he for real ?

    I actually fear for you in this relationship ..... this guy isn't dealing with a
    full deck.
    I think that if you delve deep enough (via his family) you'll find that he's had
    psychological problems in the past.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    Really?
    It is most likely that all that long speech about nothing is only used as an excuse to whatever he has in mind of doing. Or not..... Whichever is the case.

    One thing is sure in my mind tho....... Start moving on and find yourself someone more reliable without fake religious hang-ups.

    The answers to the question about having a meaningful relationship are very simple...

    Yes....
    Or
    No....

    There is no need to get into a one sided theological debate.... Just to obfuscate, confuse and escape from making a life changing decision when simply asked.

    For a minute I thought "Tom" wrote that....


  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    Hi Everyone,

    I just want to get another opinion on what these words mean to you:

    I hope I made sense when you called? The spiritual side to my life seems to be changing. I am putting God first again, not just going to Mass and praying but spending more time reading the scriptures and meditating like I used to do. I realise now that God has sometimes taken a back seat in my life priorities. My treatment of God has at times been unacceptable. I am also surrendering my complete free will to God. I am praying that God blesses and guides all aspects of my life (and yours) including my martial status. At this stage I have no idea what God is guiding me to do so I am patiently waiting. I can report nothing further.

    I know that we're in the "cool off" stage and he's probably having wedding jitters... but I also got the feeling that we're leading to a break-up? Help me make sense into this as I do not and cannot think logically at this point.

    The last email I sent was I told him that I support him and that I want him to know that I think of him always and that I love him. He replied: Thanks, I love you too. xx

    What shall I do now? Thanks everyone!
    i reckon when sam milby and anne curtis broke up... using HIM as an excuse of the break-up.
    talk to him and ask him straight... just be ready and compose yourself on what he will say.
    goodluck anyway!


  12. #12
    Respected Member pacificelectric's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    my martial status.
    Whether the typo is his or yours, it is quite funny....

    Now, regarding God's seat preference, I found him sitting on the ejector seat and I pressed the button long ago.


  13. #13
    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    For a minute I thought "Tom" wrote that....
    Is Tom back again?


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    Quote Originally Posted by pacificelectric View Post
    Whether the typo is his or yours, it is quite funny....

    Now, regarding God's seat preference, I found him sitting on the ejector seat and I pressed the button long ago.
    It is a typo error... he means marital status.


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    Quote Originally Posted by adam&chryss View Post
    i reckon when sam milby and anne curtis broke up... using HIM as an excuse of the break-up.
    talk to him and ask him straight... just be ready and compose yourself on what he will say.
    goodluck anyway!
    Thanks. Will give it some time though... let the tide subside...


  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdjones View Post
    I am putting God first again,
    That means that you are way DOWN the list on his priorities.

    not just going to Mass and praying but spending more time reading the scriptures and meditating like I used to do.
    On your profile I see you list interests as dancing, singing, going to movies
    That is NOT gonna happen with this loser, with this religious zealot.
    With him in his "cell" reading the scriptures, you'll be lucky if you're even
    allowed a TV or radio.... let alone be allowed to listen/watch unsupervised.

    I realise now that God has sometimes taken a back seat in my life
    What ? Is he for real ?

    I actually fear for you in this relationship ..... this guy isn't dealing with a
    full deck.
    I think that if you delve deep enough (via his family) you'll find that he's had
    psychological problems in the past.
    Thanks... yeah... maybe I will delve also.


  17. #17
    Respected Member Pepe n Pilar's Avatar
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    In my opinion, your bf is now telling you his side in accordance to his religious beliefs. If you are on the same boat then it would not be a big deal on your part but, if you're not then you have to think if you will push through with the relationship.

    There are loads of women out there looking for men like his type but, some are not comfortable having a partner in life that is always mentioning about scriptures/bible verses..... It's your choice.

    There is also a possibility that he wanted to end the relationship and make this as an excuse. Whatever is in his mind then we can't tell and judge. We contributed our views based on his email. All the rest will be decided by yourself as you have had read all his emails hence you will know what to do. These are just views based on that email of him.

    Best of luck Florge.
    " The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best" don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes....
    They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by... "


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    Quote Originally Posted by itsme_iye View Post
    In my opinion, your bf is now telling you his side in accordance to his religious beliefs. If you are on the same boat then it would not be a big deal on your part but, if you're not then you have to think if you will push through with the relationship.

    There are loads of women out there looking for men like his type but, some also are not comfortable having a partner in life that is always mentioning about scriptures/bible verses. It's your choice.

    There is also a possibility that he wanted to end the relationship and make this as an excuse. Whatever is in his mind then we can't tell and judge. We contributed our views based on his email. All the rest will be decided by yourself as you have had read all his emails hence you will know what to do. These are just views based on that email of him.

    Best of luck Florge.

    Thanks. He is indeed a spiritual person and we share the same faith. Just that, there's this little voice in my head that says he's making an excuse. But knowing him, he'll be man enough to tell me that he's dumping me.


  19. #19
    Respected Member Pepe n Pilar's Avatar
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    If you share the same faith then set it aside. If you wanted to know why is he dumping you then it is only you that will know. There are many factors that you have to consider why......

    Goodluck Florge
    " The people who mean something to your life are not rated "the best" don't have the most money, haven't won the greatest prizes....
    They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by... "


  20. #20
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Amiga, it appears to me that this part of his email cannot be fully comprehended without the rest of the text and a true understanding of the relationship and discussions you have had with this man.

    You mention in a subsequent post that he is indeed a spiritual person and thus, it may not be unreasonable for him to say what he has said. It is not reasonable for a believer to review his relationship with God and make an effort to square things off with Him as he believes he should before seeking to engage in a lifetime commitment.

    Perhaps he could engage you and together you can plan a spiritual development together but only if that is what works best for both parties. In any event, I hope and expect that he should be open and honest with you about all things that could affect your relationship.

    All the best!
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    Thanks. He is indeed a spiritual person and we share the same faith. Just that, there's this little voice in my head that says he's making an excuse. But knowing him, he'll be man enough to tell me that he's dumping me.
    I guess you already know the answer.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    we had a talk and he has told me to be patient and not to pressure him on anything...
    not good words for me if my hubby throw that to me,Ill just say "Did i pressure you"


    Give him space for while,wait till he initiate contact again....


  23. #23
    Respected Member Tiggers0608's Avatar
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    wedding jitters??? is that mean your going to be married soon?



    yep i agree with the other member here, his a coward and blaming it to god (if he really believes in god, lol)



    just talk to him and clear things out if his breaking with you or what

    or tell him "well, god spoke to me in my dreams and GOD said we should be married" and wait what his going to tell you lol


  24. #24
    Respected Member nids123's Avatar
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    i think he is making an exuse,y dont you ask him tell him to answer u honestly if what is really going on his mind what ever is the answer u just have to be ready. sorry to hear this.you should talk a heart to heart talk.


  25. #25
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    Hey Florge just spotted your thread, you already know what I think and have to agree with everyone's reaction to your question. Talk soon my friend.

    Carl


  26. #26
    Respected Member Happy_Now's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    Hi Everyone,
    I am praying that God blesses and guides all aspects of my life (and yours) including my martial status. At this stage I have no idea what God is guiding me to do so I am patiently waiting. I can report nothing further.[/I]
    !
    MARITAL STATUS?
    what is his marital status?
    It like there is a guilt in his heart which makes him to feel unworthy to God
    "Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city"...
    (Psalm 31:21)


  27. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiggers0608 View Post


    just talk to him and clear things out if his breaking with you or what

    or tell him "well, god spoke to me in my dreams and GOD said we should be married" and wait what his going to tell you lol
    this really made me laugh.. but it's a good idea


  28. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by itsme_iye View Post
    If you share the same faith then set it aside. If you wanted to know why is he dumping you then it is only you that will know. There are many factors that you have to consider why......

    Goodluck Florge
    I am starting to condition myself if and when he indeed dumps me.


  29. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Piamed View Post
    Amiga, it appears to me that this part of his email cannot be fully comprehended without the rest of the text and a true understanding of the relationship and discussions you have had with this man.

    You mention in a subsequent post that he is indeed a spiritual person and thus, it may not be unreasonable for him to say what he has said. It is not reasonable for a believer to review his relationship with God and make an effort to square things off with Him as he believes he should before seeking to engage in a lifetime commitment.

    Perhaps he could engage you and together you can plan a spiritual development together but only if that is what works best for both parties. In any event, I hope and expect that he should be open and honest with you about all things that could affect your relationship.

    All the best!
    Hi Piamed. Thanks. This email is a follow-up from our conversation, asking me to be patient and not to pressure him to decide on something. I am also doing the same thing... really thinking hard if I am going to commit my life with him. We will talk about this again, but I would not initiate it. The decision must come from him as he has an issue, not me. Will keep everyone updated though.



  30. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    not good words for me if my hubby throw that to me,Ill just say "Did i pressure you"


    Give him space for while,wait till he initiate contact again....
    Yes... I will give him the space he needs. Thanks.


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