Blood!!!!

[Alan]

I was preparing my dinner - baguette with cream cheese - when my knife slipped and went half way through my finger (Index - left hand.)

I am currently bleeding profusely and have no medication to stop my loss of blood.

If anyone knows how I can stop bleeding to death, it is spurting out like a good un - please reply quickly before it is too late!!!!!!!!!!!!

Al (typing with only the left hand - hoping to be alive tomos.)

[Mrs.JMajor]

where is hannah to put some bandage on it

[kimmi]

Prof Al, why dont u put Betadine(Povidone-Iodine)? it will help stops bleeding and heal properly..

[Ann07]

Prof Al, why dont u put Betadine? it will help stops bleeding and heal properly..

yes

[KeithD]

I am currently bleeding profusely and have no medication to stop my loss of blood.

If anyone knows how I can stop bleeding to death, it is spurting out like a good un - please reply quickly before it is too late!!!!!!!!!!!!

Women should be able to help you, they bleed for days without dying

[scott&ligaya]

ha ha ha, boss that is a bit OTT

[adam&chryss]

I was preparing my dinner - baguette with cream cheese - when my knife slipped and went half way through my finger (Index - left hand.)

I am currently bleeding profusely and have no medication to stop my loss of blood.

If anyone knows how I can stop bleeding to death, it is spurting out like a good un - please reply quickly before it is too late!!!!!!!!!!!!

Al (typing with only the left hand - hoping to be alive tomos.)

Ok firstly stop typing using the hand with the damaged finger!
Then find a neighbour to pee on it. ( am I mixed up with another injury? )
Then add some vinegar, that should help nicely

[KeithD]

Ok firstly stop typing using the hand with the damaged finger!
Then find a neighbour to pee on it. ( am I mixed up with another injury? )
Then add some vinegar, that should help nicely

Don't forget the salt

[alicat]

adobo??lolz

[Alan]

where is hannah to put some bandage on it

Hanna is in Dumaguete - in her hospital - helping other people!!!

Al.

[Piamed]

Ok firstly stop typing using the hand with the damaged finger!
Then find a neighbour to pee on it. ( am I mixed up with another injury? )
Then add some vinegar, that should help nicely

That made me laugh out loud! I like that one although probably not so helpful for Al.

Hey Al, wrap it up snuggly and tie tightly, just below the wound and elevate you finger higher than your heart whilst lying down. Do remember to lossen the ligature after a few mins otherwise eventually you will end up with something quite black. Hope your cut is not so bad.

[Alan]

Hey Al, wrap it up snuggly and tie tightly, just below the wound and elevate you finger higher than your heart whilst lying down. Do remember to lossen the ligature after a few mins otherwise eventually you will end up with something quite black.

Eh?

Al.

[Sconnie]

That made me laugh out loud! I like that one although probably not so helpful for Al.

Hey Al, wrap it up snuggly and tie tightly, just below the wound and elevate you finger higher than your heart whilst lying down. Do remember to lossen the ligature after a few mins otherwise eventually you will end up with something quite black. Hope your cut is not so bad.

Should that not be above the wound ???????

Al, if you have not bled to death by now, you have far too much blood and should donate some ......

[scott&ligaya]

Well at least it would make a change from your big red chopper!!!!!!!

[aromulus]

Women should be able to help you, they bleed for days without dying

Look at what Rob's sheep has dragged in..........

[Piamed]

Eh?

Al.

LOL!!!!!!!! Naughty mind!

Should that not be above the wound ???????

Sorry, I meant on the side nearest to the heart.

[Alan]

Thanks for all your advice guys. It is now a beautiful sunny morning in Mandaue City and I am STILL ALIVE!!!!

Hanna arrived late last night, swam through the blood and found me.

She proceeded to clean said wound and then dress it (It looks bloody silly with a dress on) using BETADINE as suggested.

She then told me that her patient had died today!!!!!!

I quickly checked the BETADINE just in case she had swapped labels with a bottle of anthrax!!!

This is the same finger whose nail I lost several weeks ago - remember?

It must be the unlucky part of my body.

What is the unlucky part of YOUR body? I await your replies with tears flooding my cheeks as, in keeping with the manager's plan, Oldham once again lose at home to a Colchester goal that was clearly 85 yards offside.

Al.

[keithAngel]

Sorry to be so tardy Al but I had guessed you had heard of "fluid replacment" and if it happens again just sit in the bar with your hand up and replace the lost blood with the stream of S.Migs that will arrrive

P,S the "u"s my home team are clearly regaining their former glory thanks for the heads up!!

[Alan]

Sorry to be so tardy Al but I had guessed you had heard of "fluid replacment" and if it happens again just sit in the bar with your hand up and replace the lost blood with the stream of S.Migs that will arrrive

P,S the "u"s my home team are clearly regaining their former glory thanks for the heads up!!

Trouble is Keith, I am on medication at the mo that forbids me any alcohol!

Al.

[KeithD]

Trouble is Keith, I am on medication at the mo that forbids me any alcohol!

Al.

You can drink, it just means you collapse after only 2 instead of the usual 10

[kimmi]

Thanks for all your advice guys. It is now a beautiful sunny morning in Mandaue City and I am STILL ALIVE!!!!

Hanna arrived late last night, swam through the blood and found me.

She proceeded to clean said wound and then dress it (It looks bloody silly with a dress on) using BETADINE as suggested.

She then told me that her patient had died today!!!!!!

I quickly checked the BETADINE just in case she had swapped labels with a bottle of anthrax!!!

This is the same finger whose nail I lost several weeks ago - remember?

It must be the unlucky part of my body.

What is the unlucky part of YOUR body? I await your replies with tears flooding my cheeks as, in keeping with the manager's plan, Oldham once again lose at home to a Colchester goal that was clearly 85 yards offside.

Al.

hi Prof,

it's nice to know that u're not bleeding anymore..and Hannah managed still to found u..

Be careful next time, Prof..because those little cuts/wounds/bruises that we have, might caught infection or something.. well at least u've got a lovely nurse by ur side..

[KeithD]

Kimmi....Have you wet the bed?

[kimmi]

with blood, Boss??

[KeithD]

with blood, Boss??

You're sleeping with Al?


Bit old for you isn't he?

[kimmi]

You're sleeping with Al?


Bit old for you isn't he?

Boss I dont like Hannah to get mad at me..

but.... i dont care if he's old as long as no unlucky part of the body..

[keithAngel]

Trouble is Keith, I am on medication at the mo that forbids me any alcohol!

Al.

Al is your Doc/Phamacist prone on a carpet 5 times a day

I havnt found any conditions here that arnt improved by Alcohol

[Alan]

Al is your Doc/Phamacist prone on a carpet 5 times a day

I havnt found any conditions here that arnt improved by Alcohol

Oh, ok then - sod it - San Mig. here I come!!

Al.

[Alan]

LATEST!!!

Changed the dressing last night (now full length with pink sequins)

Took off the old dressing, looked at my injured digit - and collapsed!! (almost.)

It looks to me as if it is turning sceptical. Colour is black, with a tinge of navy blue and just a hint of vermillion.

The site of the near fatal wound is still quite tender, like a good T-Bone steak, yet the periphery (spelling?) of said 'battlefield' is allbut neutral nervously.

I am actually thinking of suing McDonalds, for, as I was cutting aforementioned baguette with aforementioned knife, I was contemplating buying my dinner from aforementioned gourmet palace.

However, as I don't like driving in the dark here, I decided against said idea.

Now, the question is, could I successfully take said prime culinary outpost to court, on the premise that the reason I decided not to go there was because they are situated too far away from my hovel of residence for me to walk?

Any straw grasping welcome!

(Trying ANYTHING to get dosh for Hanna's visa!! )

Live long and prosper,

Al.

[Pepe n Pilar]

HI Prof Alan, reading your posts made me laugh as usual. You're so funny. Is this a way of relieving yourself bec you can't bring Hanna to the UK? Why is it that she finds if difficult? I thought applying for a spouse visa has a slim chance to be denied rather than the fiancee/fiance visa. Hope you can bring Hanna to the UK one day soon.

Give my regards to Hanna.
God Bless and may your injured finger be healed soon.
Cheers Prof

[KeithD]

Is this a way of relieving yourself ....

Going out on a limb here.....but my guess is he has another way of doing that!