This is funny...
A=rline Cabin Announcements: All too rarely, airline attendants make an effo=t to make the in flight 'safety lecture' and announcements a bit more ente=taining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
PAL beats them all! hahahaha!=/FONT>
CONTINENTAL AIRLINES
On a Continental Flight with a =ery 'senior' flight attendant crew, the pilot said, 'Ladies and gentlemen,=we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.=This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight atte=dants.'
JAPAN AIR LINES
'In the event of a sud=en loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.. Stop scre=ming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child=traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you =re traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.'
BRITISH AIRWAYS
'As you exit the plan=, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be=distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave childr=n or spouses.'
AMERICAN AIRLINES=/EM>
Ov=rheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo , Texas , on a particu=arly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was reall= having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant=said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo Please remain in your sea=s with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'
QANTAS AIRWAYS
Another flight attenda=t's comment on a less than perfect landing: 'We ask you to please remain s=ated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.' <=PAN class="077293423-11032008">
NORTHWEST AIRLINES
After a particular=y rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis , a flight attendant on a =orthwest flight announced, 'Please take care when opening the overhead com=artments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has s=ifted.'
PHILIPPINE AIR LINES
We're now preparing to l=nd at San Francisco International Airport . Kindly straighten up your seat=, turn off all electronic gadgets, pull up your window shades and buckle u= for safety. We hope you enjoyed flying with us as much as we did.
Sa w=kang atin po, tayo po ay papalapag na sa paliparang pangkalawakang internasyonal ng San Francisco . Paalala p= lamang sa ating mga kababayan -- ang mga unan, kumot, headset at iba pang=kagamitan sa eroplano ay di po kasama sa pasalubong. Huwag po lamang bakla=in ang LCD-TV na nakadikit sa silya
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