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  1. #31
    Respected Member tiger@tigress's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..
    mrsjarv
    At first its really strange to go out on your own.... my hubby only have 3days to show us around and he needs to go back to work.... no choice but to take my daugther to school by myself as she got a place reserved in school even before we got our visa. At first i dunno what to say to Mr. Bus Driver and its annoying that he's having a hard time understanding my accent....... surprise cuz he thought we came from America he said i got American accent...
    tiger tigress

    ♥♥♥♥Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage♥♥♥♥.


  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    Errrmm... I know! I noticed too... lol I am bored hahahaa ... The doctors said I need to rest and stop working hehe, so my only resort is replying to different THREADS hahaha... huhuhuhu not fun for me though, i still want real physical friends hahaha... But having this online community makes me at home... lol cheers

    also, i have noticed, it was couple of days ago when I reached my 1000 posts hehehe...
    ahahahahah.... don't worry Zobel... if and when things go well with me and bf (and I know it will because God will make it happen).. we can go around town with your baby... woooohoooooo....


  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..

    mrsjarv
    I used to be very independent and free. Can go out with friends, family and alone. When I arrived here, it's different. I want to be independent too like taking a bus going to work/ shopping etc. But I can't stand with the cold waiting for the bus and hard for me to be able to drive. So my dad, my husband are always there to drop me and pick me up.
    Unlike in the Philippines, there's jeepney, bus, tricycle
    You'll be alright then as british wants their wife to be an independent


  4. #34
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ji&Ma View Post
    Swindon? Not so far from me in Bicester, Oxfordshire. Good to know it...
    Driving directions to Bicester, Oxfordshire, UK
    40.5 mi – about 1 hour 2 mins



    Quote Originally Posted by Piamed View Post
    Absolutely! You are very welcome.
    Salamat po!


    Quote Originally Posted by Florge View Post
    ahahahahah.... don't worry Zobel... if and when things go well with me and bf (and I know it will because God will make it happen).. we can go around town with your baby... woooohoooooo....
    That's what we call positive mental attitude


    Quote Originally Posted by pennybarry View Post
    I used to be very independent and free. Can go out with friends, family and alone. When I arrived here, it's different. I want to be independent too like taking a bus going to work/ shopping etc. But I can't stand with the cold waiting for the bus and hard for me to be able to drive. So my dad, my husband are always there to drop me and pick me up.
    Unlike in the Philippines, there's jeepney, bus, tricycle
    You'll be alright then as british wants their wife to be an independent
    same here


  5. #35
    Respected Member jta's Avatar
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    I can relate the feelings too, it's only at 1st but once u started going out that fears will all gone... What i did was, i study the route or road maps then start to walk just within near the house, increase the distance evrytime i go out, then i went to bus station just to sitdown there read information and observe. Few days i started to take a bus to nearby town, it's funny coz driver ask me what street and have no idea, i just said the town name and i keep busy looking for signage hehehe. And whenever i feel this is the place, i just follow other passenger then i will cross the road and ride back to the bus station. And now I am more knowledgeable about the place than my husband
    ----------------------------------------------
    "FAILURE IS NOT DEFEAT UNLESS U STOP TRYING"


  6. #36
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by jta View Post
    I can relate the feelings too, it's only at 1st but once u started going out that fears will all gone... What i did was, i study the route or road maps then start to walk just within near the house, increase the distance evrytime i go out, then i went to bus station just to sitdown there read information and observe. Few days i started to take a bus to nearby town, it's funny coz driver ask me what street and have no idea, i just said the town name and i keep busy looking for signage hehehe. And whenever i feel this is the place, i just follow other passenger then i will cross the road and ride back to the bus station. And now I am more knowledgeable about the place than my husband


    so brave!!!


  7. #37
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    oh Thank you so much all. those are not my thing lady jay. Actually when i was in phil i used to look at the news about uk in the internet and that was horrifying all the time. do you know about those teenager that has been stub to death?

    Anyway. yesterday i went out on my own with my son. Finally. my hubby says he is proud of me lol.

    Piamed.....
    Thank you for inviting. i would want to join you and your firends.maybe we could met sometime first in town

    Jay&zobel....
    You got it. Filipino are snobish and got a so high ego. when they look at you its just intolerable.


  8. #38
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Piamed.....
    Thank you for inviting. i would want to join you and your firends.maybe we could met sometime first in town
    Wala problema amiga. Anytime at all. Glad you managed to go out.
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  9. #39
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    it's kinda funny..... in the philippines my wife always told me not to go out by myself.
    Of course, I did anyway and luckily my wife's a filipina, so she don't like to walk too much

    I did as some in here suggested; go a little further each day - then after a while I dared to take a jeepney alone. I had no idea where it went, but I knew that somehow there'd be jeepney going back again.

    I should perhabs mentioning, that my wife was very worried but with no reason because I only met nice, helpful people there (yeah I got lost a few times, but being a man I would never admit that )


  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    When Jet first arrived in the UK, she was also very wary of going out on her own.
    Everything seemed so strange to her.
    But slowly, due to necessity she learnt her way around and now she so very confident that she gets the bus into town, does her shopping and comes back the same way.
    Sometime she meets up with her Friend Ann from CDO and they spend time together window shopping and chatting in Klingon over a cappuccino....

    It take a while, but if you don't take that first step out of the door you will be confining yourself within the walls of the house, and end up missing your relatives too much.

    Take the plunge and go out, plan ahead, bus routes and bus numbers. Decide where you want to go and how long you will stay there, etc.
    Take yourself to Church and meet some other Pinays there, try to make friends, although I must warn you that some of them can be quite stuck up and ignorant.

    Good luck

    I agree with that...


  11. #41
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sysop View Post
    it's kinda funny..... in the philippines my wife always told me not to go out by myself.
    Of course, I did anyway and luckily my wife's a filipina, so she don't like to walk too much

    I did as some in here suggested; go a little further each day - then after a while I dared to take a jeepney alone. I had no idea where it went, but I knew that somehow there'd be jeepney going back again.

    I should perhabs mentioning, that my wife was very worried but with no reason because I only met nice, helpful people there (yeah I got lost a few times, but being a man I would never admit that )
    you can't blame us for wrrying about you guys. my hubby once go out by him self to. i don't want him to go out by himself because its quite dangerous.
    one time we ride on a jeepney to a resort and therewas this very odd man who wants to sit beside him. I felt sure he is planning something bad coz my brother was sitting beside my hubby and this man where trying to force himself to sit beside my hubby. i am on the other side of the jeepney so when i saw what this man is doing. i move and sit between my hubby and this man....


  12. #42
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Piamed View Post
    Wala problema amiga. Anytime at all. Glad you managed to go out.

    How about this sat? are you free? maybe you can go with your hubby. Lets meet in huddersfield town or if you want to meet somewhere else you decide.


  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    you can't blame us for wrrying about you guys. my hubby once go out by him self to. i don't want him to go out by himself because its quite dangerous.
    one time we ride on a jeepney to a resort and therewas this very odd man who wants to sit beside him. I felt sure he is planning something bad coz my brother was sitting beside my hubby and this man where trying to force himself to sit beside my hubby. i am on the other side of the jeepney so when i saw what this man is doing. i move and sit between my hubby and this man....
    hehe yeah he did sound a little weird. However, there are weird people everywhere - even here in Denmark where I live, we have a few. Here we just give them a large amount of money and call them goverment officials.

    I will bet that your husband are worried too when you go out on your own, because perhabs you'll meet weird people out there too.

    But it's just taking it in small steps at a time and very soon it will be your husband who ask you for directions

    On another note; Philippines are just as dangerous as UK - it has to do mostly on where you are, what time a day and who you spent the time with. With the wrong persons at the wrong place you are almost asking for trouble.


  14. #44
    Respected Member rusty's Avatar
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    As I have been out of work this week, I have been able to go out more with my wife to get her more confident of her surroundings.

    Yesterday I was enjoying the lovely sunny weather on the golf course, when I returned home; my wife told me she had been out into town for a walk and to the supermarket, I was very proud of her.

    Next week we plan to explore more of the local area. If the weather is good maybe a trip to the beach, Lowestoft or Yarmouth.


  15. #45
    Respected Member cheesewiz's Avatar
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    its normal to worry just be cautious and always alert everything around you.

    I do disagree with some people here saying UK street is more safer than Phils. Have you been out at night on your own here in UK or even in daylight in a crowded place and in Phils? The biggest problem here in UK is the teenager they don't know what's the meaning of respect at all even Brits are worried when group of young people gathered in one place.

    For my 5 years here I never experienced any trouble bec I am trying to be alert and cautious and I know how to take care of myself (I mean I don't go home very late walking on my own even with my friends I'd rather get a taxi even its only 10 mins walk specially on a weekend here) same thing in the Phils.

    With my bf now I am trying to brief him what he will expect in the Phils things that will amuse him like filipinos like staring at white people or colored people or foreigners in generals. What kind of public trasport we have etc although I can drive in the Phils so its not a prob but I want him to experience the tradition in the Phils like tricycle, jeepeney and bus. Hold up is a big possibility specially with foreigners bec most filipinos think that foreigners have plenty of money but he said he got a villa in Spain and its the same case there that many Brits being mugged and police are not bothered to do something. I think we shouldn't worry too much with our loveones if they are in the Phils they are not young anymore to tell them what to do and what they can't do. As long as we tell them to be cautious and giving them the freedom to exploit themselves a bit and they will learn the system, imho.


  16. #46
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    I'm proud of mrsjarv for venturing out alone (well with the Rafa hehe) I guess it took some sunshine to spur her on

    I agree that both phil and uk can be dangerous or safe depending on time and location, I think it is the same everywhere. I certainly feel safer going to the ATM with a guard brandishing a pump-action shot-gun lol

    mrjarv


  17. #47
    Respected Member scott&ligaya's Avatar
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    [. I certainly feel safer going to the ATM with a guard brandishing a pump-action shot-gun lol

    mrjarv[/QUOTE]

    Yeah it is a bit surreal when the hotel guard walks with me less than 100 yards to the ATM by the hotel we use where he then chats to the Bank guard. Like a lot of major cities the key to safety is awareness, common sense and not being too flash (nice watches, jewellry etc).... oh yeah an armed guard helps hehehehehe.

    Well done Mrs Jarvs, where are going next on your own?
    Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy

    if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!


  18. #48
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scott&ligaya View Post
    [. I certainly feel safer going to the ATM with a guard brandishing a pump-action shot-gun lol
    sure, until you remember the reasons why every bank and mall has to have guards with shot guns

    and also how many police and security guards are in prison themselves, and visit the PNP website and see those who are wanted for murder, kidnapping, robbery.

    yes the UK has problems, much of it down to kids causing trouble, but i've definitely felt safer in the uk than the phils.

    but as you said, minimise the risks you take, and it doesn't matter what country you're in, there are always low life's about


  19. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    How about this sat? are you free? maybe you can go with your hubby. Lets meet in huddersfield town or if you want to meet somewhere else you decide.
    Hello there thejarvs

    Piamed ( Kuya Toks ) is busy at this moment i think coz today they will have a Baby Shower at home March 21. If u want i will ring him and let him know that u want to meet him and ate pia ... hey btw , load of visitors later


    "You don't have to be a certain age to fall in love;
    although you've maybe been told you're to young.
    For those who tell you that,
    that don't know what is.
    "


  20. #50
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by misscarie View Post
    Hello there thejarvs

    Piamed ( Kuya Toks ) is busy at this moment i think coz today they will have a Baby Shower at home March 21. If u want i will ring him and let him know that u want to meet him and ate pia ... hey btw , load of visitors later

    its alright misscarie,Thank you for the thought Lets just let them enjoy thier baby shower if you happen to see them just give them my regards. and best wishes for their baby. Maybe i could talk to them again sometimes here and arrange a different date to meet them

    scott&ligaya,
    I don't know where to go next yet lol

    Anyway, What am i doing on this thread (NEWS PHIL)? i am lost lols

    mrsjarv


  21. #51
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    Some great advise on this thread.

    The WIfe was like you back in Late 2005. Now she travels up to London on her own and alsorts. But it took time and she needed to get to know her local area around the home first.
    I read on here how couples travel all over the UK and further abroad etc. But dont forget to really explore the local area together. The Wife and I used the local buses together Visit the various town centres so the Wife felt comfortable and familiar in them.

    One thing she now uses (Well she has never used for real yet just in practise) is using her phone if a little lost to tell her where she is.

    Two ways, first GPS (but this can take time and fiddly) and a not so accurate way is to use google maps which uses the postion of the transmitters around you to work out roughly where you are often much much quicker but uses data. Simply by selecting my postion.

    My Wife found the best way of meeting people was via the bus she even knows a few local pinoy bus drivers now. She met filpinas of all ages. Found that either those recently over or those who had been here for many many years were the nicest to her. She also met all the local phills as many also used the bus. Even found many who were neighbours.


    With A baby as others have said you have many chances to meet others for company (playroups, medical centre) also in many areas as rightly said older people or others with babies will stop and chat/help you talk about the weather and your lovely baby.
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  22. #52
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Hi Amiga

    I just heard you left a message for us. It was really nice to chat with you amiga.

    Ingat!

    Paalam
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  23. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    When Jet first arrived in the UK, she was also very wary of going out on her own.
    Everything seemed so strange to her.
    But slowly, due to necessity she learnt her way around and now she so very confident that she gets the bus into town, does her shopping and comes back the same way.
    Sometime she meets up with her Friend Ann from CDO and they spend time together window shopping and chatting in Klingon over a cappuccino....

    It take a while, but if you don't take that first step out of the door you will be confining yourself within the walls of the house, and end up missing your relatives too much.

    Take the plunge and go out, plan ahead, bus routes and bus numbers. Decide where you want to go and how long you will stay there, etc.
    Take yourself to Church and meet some other Pinays there, try to make friends, although I must warn you that some of them can be quite stuck up and ignorant.

    Good luck
    Great advice! I guess i will have to start doing that. Coz i for one, have thesame dillema since i just got here last week. And everytime my husband is at work, it gets really boring for me and i wanted to go out and do something else beyond the four walls of our house And sooner or later, i will want to get a job here too and make myself more productive and earn my own money.


  24. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by pennybarry View Post
    I used to be very independent and free. Can go out with friends, family and alone. When I arrived here, it's different. I want to be independent too like taking a bus going to work/ shopping etc. But I can't stand with the cold waiting for the bus and hard for me to be able to drive. So my dad, my husband are always there to drop me and pick me up.
    Unlike in the Philippines, there's jeepney, bus, tricycle
    You'll be alright then as british wants their wife to be an independent
    Exactly like me! Like you, i used to be so independent in manila, i can go anywhere and drive on my own. I would bring my husband and inlaws to nice places around manila and out of town. I felt so secure and confident of myself, then all of a sudden, when i got here, i became the opposite!
    I became dependent, clingy, scared and not confident enough and secure of myself, and that is so not me! And i don't like me that way. But good thing i came to my senses now, thanks to this forum. I will need to bring back the old independent me


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