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  1. #1
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    Unhappy worried

    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..

    mrsjarv


  2. #2
    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    Did you get here with your baby in the UK?
    Its normal at first to feel that way coz its totally different the environment plus the weather But once you get used to it everything will be ok. Takes an effort and confidence to do it but eventually you will be alright

    I have a 1 year old baby plus 28 weeks pregnant. Everytime im off from work i always go out for a walk with my wee boy or attend playgroup in our local area or visit my british friends who has a baby too. In that way i can be more of myself and never rely on my husband

    You will be alright trust me.
    LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL


  3. #3
    Respected Member Mrs Daddy's Avatar
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    yes i agree with what ann said.i was like that before but i manage to overcome my fear.you will be alright.its much more safer here than in PI.
    to loved and beloved is the greatest joy on earth...


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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..

    mrsjarv
    When Jet first arrived in the UK, she was also very wary of going out on her own.
    Everything seemed so strange to her.
    But slowly, due to necessity she learnt her way around and now she so very confident that she gets the bus into town, does her shopping and comes back the same way.
    Sometime she meets up with her Friend Ann from CDO and they spend time together window shopping and chatting in Klingon over a cappuccino....

    It take a while, but if you don't take that first step out of the door you will be confining yourself within the walls of the house, and end up missing your relatives too much.

    Take the plunge and go out, plan ahead, bus routes and bus numbers. Decide where you want to go and how long you will stay there, etc.
    Take yourself to Church and meet some other Pinays there, try to make friends, although I must warn you that some of them can be quite stuck up and ignorant.

    Good luck


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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    When Jet first arrived in the UK, she was also very wary of going out on her own.
    Everything seemed so strange to her.
    But slowly, due to necessity she learnt her way around and now she so very confident that she gets the bus into town, does her shopping and comes back the same way.
    Sometime she meets up with her Friend Ann from CDO and they spend time together window shopping and chatting in Klingon over a cappuccino....

    It take a while, but if you don't take that first step out of the door you will be confining yourself within the walls of the house, and end up missing your relatives too much.

    Take the plunge and go out, plan ahead, bus routes and bus numbers. Decide where you want to go and how long you will stay there, etc.
    Take yourself to Church and meet some other Pinays there, try to make friends, although I must warn you that some of them can be quite stuck up and ignorant.

    Good luck

    I agree with that...


  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by aromulus View Post
    When Jet first arrived in the UK, she was also very wary of going out on her own.
    Everything seemed so strange to her.
    But slowly, due to necessity she learnt her way around and now she so very confident that she gets the bus into town, does her shopping and comes back the same way.
    Sometime she meets up with her Friend Ann from CDO and they spend time together window shopping and chatting in Klingon over a cappuccino....

    It take a while, but if you don't take that first step out of the door you will be confining yourself within the walls of the house, and end up missing your relatives too much.

    Take the plunge and go out, plan ahead, bus routes and bus numbers. Decide where you want to go and how long you will stay there, etc.
    Take yourself to Church and meet some other Pinays there, try to make friends, although I must warn you that some of them can be quite stuck up and ignorant.

    Good luck
    Great advice! I guess i will have to start doing that. Coz i for one, have thesame dillema since i just got here last week. And everytime my husband is at work, it gets really boring for me and i wanted to go out and do something else beyond the four walls of our house And sooner or later, i will want to get a job here too and make myself more productive and earn my own money.


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    you made me smile on your thread,yeah today will be my first time Im going out too w/o my hubby,going Morrison looking for rice and hubby said 15 minutes walk
    he just told me "dont get lost princess" I said as long as i know how to read the signage of the strret i wont

    Have fun yuhoooo


  8. #8
    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..

    mrsjarv
    I would suggest you attend the playgroup in your local area for your baby to have fun with other babies plus you will get to know many mums as well.
    In my place I am the only Pinay

    You can ask your gp or health visitor for info.
    LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL


  9. #9
    Respected Member IainBusby's Avatar
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    When my wife Louella first arrived in the UK, I took a week off work to help her settle in. Besides showing around the shops in our local area and where the nearest catholic church was, I took her 3 times on the bus into the city centre and showed her around, pointing out various shops and landmarks that she could use to find her way around and also, help her to find her way back to the correct bus stop so she could get home.

    When I returned to work the following week, I was half expecting a phone call saying "I'm lost", but she got on great all on her own and has done ever since.

    Iain.


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    i was like that too at first... but staying at home makes me bored. today me and my son are going out to find him a costume for his school. it will be our second time to go out without hubby and will just use a bus.
    my hubby printed me the bus timetable...
    i suggest before going out by yourselves (you and your baby). go around in the town with your hubby so you'll be familiar with it, and make sure where the bus station is. always bring ur mobile phone too so in case you'll get lost but i'm sure you won't. you can call your husband anytime.
    goodluck!


  11. #11
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    To tell you honestly, I so want to go out alone too! lol
    I've been here for years already but still doenst have the courage to go out without my loving husband (maybe we enjoy doing things together..lol)

    But really we should be independent. It builds confidence (but just be very cautious & careful) I think streets in Manila or in the Philippines are way too dangerous than UK streets hehehe


  12. #12
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    It takes time amiga due to so many things different and unfamiliar. Pia has been out about 3 times on her own - twice when I was out. I am amazed and a little worried about some of the places where she ended up going. I have been here in Leeds for almost 5 years and never knew there was a fishmarket in the city centre.

    I suggest going for regular walks with hubby and baby. Then when you are ready you will venture out without him to the places you are familiar with and then, eventulally further afield.

    Good luck!
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  13. #13
    Respected Member rusty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..

    mrsjarv
    It's not unusual to feel this way, my wife has been here for 4 weeks and has only been out once alone to the local corner shop.

    She says its cold outside and worried she will get lost.

    At the moment I am at home as im out of work so I am walking around our town so she can get familiar with it.

    My tip would be to start with small trips outside, then try to go for longer each time.


  14. #14
    Respected Member scott&ligaya's Avatar
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    Don't worry,
    like everyone has said just take your time. Where are you in West Yorks, there may be another member fairly close who could come over and you perhaps take you to the nearest shopping centre for coffee and chat.

    In a few months time you will look back at this thread and laugh at yourself..

    take care
    Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy

    if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!


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    Respected Member Ana_may365's Avatar
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    i've been here 3 years now but until now i didnt try to go anywhere w/o my hubby.coz we always go together anywhere,after we finish to our pigeons we visit our greyhounds in the kennels of our trainer.and after that we visit some of our friends in thier houses.we go to ireland,phils,thailand,cambodia,manchester,oxford,etc,etc


  16. #16
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Ana_may365 View Post
    i've been here 3 years now but until now i didnt try to go anywhere w/o my hubby.coz we always go together anywhere,after we finish to our pigeons we visit our greyhounds in the kennels of our trainer.and after that we visit some of our friends in thier houses.we go to ireland,phils,thailand,cambodia,manchester,oxford,etc,etc


    doing things together!!! i love that!


    parehas tayo hehe...


  17. #17
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    doing things together!!! i love that!


    parehas tayo hehe...
    I enjoy doing things when i am with him aswel. everything is boring when i am just alone:(


  18. #18
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    We go to town every weekend hoping we will meet some filipina that is married to a british coz its quite uneasy if just normal phil..
    Anyway, Thank you again everyone
    Yeah, I have the same feeling as well, I've been dying to see Pinays married to Brits, been here for almost 3 yrs now, havent met anyone yet. It is just different right? Being in the same boat?
    I've seen lots of Pinays here, they are either snobbish or just doesnt care... Just sad...



    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    I enjoy doing things when i am with him aswel. everything is boring when i am just alone:(
    Aww bless you


  19. #19
    Respected Member thejarvs's Avatar
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    i got here with my 17 months old son.Actually i am 5 months already.as others say here i go out with my hubby always and we use the car. we went for a walk few times. i am just worried that i will be lost.hit by a car or stub(lol). You know some racist:(

    I'm happy that it wasnt only me experiencing this things. Thank you very much for all the eply guys.. it made me feel better. i am at Huddersfield btw. We go to town every weekend hoping we will meet some filipina that is married to a british coz its quite uneasy if just normal phil..

    Anyway, Thank you again everyone


  20. #20
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    i got here with my 17 months old son.Actually i am 5 months already.as others say here i go out with my hubby always and we use the car. we went for a walk few times. i am just worried that i will be lost.hit by a car or stub(lol). You know some racist:(

    I'm happy that it wasnt only me experiencing this things. Thank you very much for all the eply guys.. it made me feel better. i am at Huddersfield btw. We go to town every weekend hoping we will meet some filipina that is married to a british coz its quite uneasy if just normal phil..

    Anyway, Thank you again everyone
    Hi amiga, I had no idea you werre so close to us. Pia and I were in Kirklees on a couple of days ago and most of our BritFil network live in areas such as Cleckheaton, Batley, Middleton, etc. so not far from you. If you would like to you can drop me a line and I will introduce you to Pia and maybe you could come to one of the many parties we attend near your area.

    Our friends vary from Pinoy-Pinoy, Brit-Fil, Brit-Brit, Nigerian-Brit and Polish. They are all really nice, very welcoming and great fun.
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  21. #21
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Piamed View Post
    Hi amiga, I had no idea you werre so close to us. Pia and I were in Kirklees on a couple of days ago and most of our BritFil network live in areas such as Cleckheaton, Batley, Middleton, etc. so not far from you. If you would like to you can drop me a line at I will introduce you to Pia and maybe you could come to one of the many parties we attend near your area.

    Our friends vary from Pinoy-Pinoy, Brit-Fil, Brit-Brit, Nigerian-Brit and Polish. They are all really nice, very welcoming and great fun.



    Can I join too...? lol


    Anyone from Swindon or near Swindon? Oxford? Faringdon? Lechlade? Ashbury? huhuhu


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    Can I join too...? lol


    Anyone from Swindon or near Swindon? Oxford? Faringdon? Lechlade? Ashbury? huhuhu

    you made me laugh it shows on how many post you made it on one day, toast zobel

    cheers


  23. #23
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    you made me laugh it shows on how many post you made it on one day, toast zobel

    cheers


    Errrmm... I know! I noticed too... lol I am bored hahahaa ... The doctors said I need to rest and stop working hehe, so my only resort is replying to different THREADS hahaha... huhuhuhu not fun for me though, i still want real physical friends hahaha... But having this online community makes me at home... lol cheers

    also, i have noticed, it was couple of days ago when I reached my 1000 posts hehehe...


  24. #24
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    Can I join too...? lol
    Absolutely! You are very welcome.
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  25. #25
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    Can I join too...? lol


    Anyone from Swindon or near Swindon? Oxford? Faringdon? Lechlade? Ashbury? huhuhu
    Swindon? Not so far from me in Bicester, Oxfordshire. Good to know it...


  26. #26
    Respected Member LadyJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    i got here with my 17 months old son.Actually i am 5 months already.as others say here i go out with my hubby always and we use the car. we went for a walk few times. i am just worried that i will be lost.hit by a car or stub(lol). You know some racist:(

    I'm happy that it wasnt only me experiencing this things. Thank you very much for all the eply guys.. it made me feel better. i am at Huddersfield btw. We go to town every weekend hoping we will meet some filipina that is married to a british coz its quite uneasy if just normal phil..

    Anyway, Thank you again everyone


    You are in UK now my dear, far away from Phils which is there you are more likely to get stub or hit by a car!

    Dont be afraid of going out, there are plenty of nice people around here in UK, specially old people -their first words? is about weather!

    It's very useful aswell to watch tv as you will learn a lot about UK.
    Not an expert, I only try to help.


  27. #27
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LadyJ View Post
    It's very useful aswell to watch tv as you will learn a lot about UK.
    Hope you don't mean UK soaps like Emmerdale or Coronation Street???


  28. #28
    Respected Member LadyJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ji&Ma View Post
    Hope you don't mean UK soaps like Emmerdale or Coronation Street???
    Any tv program really. what I was trying to point out is by watching tv might topped up your knowledge about Life in the UK

    Haven't you learned a lot of things from Emmerdale or Coronation StreeT? have you?
    Not an expert, I only try to help.


  29. #29
    Respected Member Happy_Now's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thejarvs View Post
    Hi everyone, i just want to ask if its not normal that i am afriad to go out if my hubby is not with me?any advice of how can i overcome my fear:(, i want to be able to leave the house with my son even if my hubby is not with me.coz thats what he wanted me to do. thanks everyone..

    mrsjarv
    mrsjarv,
    As long your hubby want you to go out alone, you are alright.
    Nice to have some experience sometimes, if you get lost phone him
    Im in England almost 2 yrs, but didnt try to go out nor ride a bus with my own.
    Its not that im afraid, i really love to go out alone
    but hubby is afraid and wont let me go
    he is afraid, somebody will take me away from him

    bcoz, when we are in the gym. Men eyes was at me


    not my fault
    "Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city"...
    (Psalm 31:21)


  30. #30
    Respected Member alicat's Avatar
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    been here for nearly 3 years now,i usually go on my own,especially when i go
    shopping,coz its irritating me if my hubby always rushing me,takes me ages to find what i want..sometimes it takes me a week to decide.


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