A Cautionary Tale.

[jackmac452]

A couple of days ago, My house sale fell through, some Person nicked my car and I cut my big toe...not the best of days..
I thought I would suprise the missus and ring her. Maybe she could cheer me up. I rang her number 3 times and it seemed to be on hold, but on the 5th. time someone answered but did not speak..I heard the man talking in Tagalog and in the background was what I thought, a woman moaning..not the talking type of moaning either....My heart missed a beat and I went cold and truly started to shiver...the man continued to talk rather softly to the woman and ignored my calls for a reply. The phone went dead, so I rang again. but this time the phone was definitely on hold....bleeping away at me...my mind exploded and I rushed off a text to my missus saying I heard all what was going on and....sod her, if she wanted to go back to her ex. he could have her..or if another man..I hoped they would be happy together and all that stuff you say, but I would fight for Junior to be able to see him again. etc.etc. Well the next day I got a phone call from her...very, very tearful...asking me why I sent her such an awful message etc...then my English mate who lives up the road from her with his Filipino wife came on the phone....He said "Whats wrong with you? are you going barmy?" I explained what I'd heard and was upset with it all...a bit of a silence, then her Tatay came on the phone and explained..Nanay had had a heart scare, and he took my call but did not know how to use the mobile, he opened it up and left it on while he waited for the doctor to come around....it was Nanay moaning on the bed....
I feel like Sh*t now...we have patched it up and worked it out, but I hope no one else goes silly like I did and makes a fool of himself and betrays the trust we always had together....thought I'd just share this stupidity with you all....Stop before you ever leap to conclusions like I did....Today we talked and she was her happy, laughing self, but I still feel like a bit of a heel at this time......so lad's take care of your emotions and dont act stupid like I did...

[Florge]

good point... we are all guilty of this at one point in our life... at least everything has been sorted out! very good lesson here too.

[joebloggs]

...so lad's take care of your emotions and dont act stupid like I did...

over the years in a LDR, sometimes your mind starts to go and you can be convinced by little things, that something is not right, and put 2 and 2 together and then say something you'll regret later.

i've come close a couple of times, usually about money , but thought about it for a while, and gave her the benefit of doubt, and later on i found out, i was wrong and good job i didn't say anything

a warningl, think and think again before you say something you could regret forever

[Florge]

over the years in a LDR, sometimes your mind starts to go and you can be convinced by little things, that something is not right, and put 2 and 2 together and then say something you'll regret later.

i've come close a couple of times, usually about money , but thought about it for a while, and gave her the benefit of doubt, and later on i found out, i was wrong and good job i didn't say anything

a warningl, think and think again before you say something you could regret forever

I totally agree!

[KeithD]

a warningl, think and think again before you say something you could regret forever

Like the last time you said 'I DO'?

[Pepe n Pilar]

It is one trait of a person. Some just blew up in a spur of a moment without thinking anything at all. Everything that was heard was made into conclusion without searching for details or knowing the root cause.

Based on experiences we have to be cautious on what we are saying for it can't be erased from the mind of the person we have that addressed to. Though some accepted forgiveness still it is already there (the damaged has been done). Some may involve "trust".

Just give them the benefit of the doubt and make things clarified first or else we might regret it. Things will work out alright if both parties had talked about it after hearing both sides.

Jackmac452 can't be blamed for he heard tagalog words which he doesn't understands.....

God Bless....

[MarBell379]

In another context, that story might be amusing, but I know how easy it can be to jump to the wrong conclusions.
The odd thing is I think that most of us would say that we trust our partners implicitly, even though they can be such a long way away, and with long gaps between visits. I know I certainly do, but I still worry.
If we don't speak for even a day I start to worry. There are so many 'what if's that go through your mind it can be very hard NOT to react when something like you experienced brings those worries to the fore.
Ive nearly messed things up myself before over some internet profiles that existed wayyy before I came on the scene and are now ancient history.
I agree totally with your advice. Take care of your emotions and think before reacting. Preferably waiting until you can speak calmly before doing anything.

[jackmac452]

Thank you for the kind words...I must admit that even after the occurance happened, she still shows me how much of a beautiful person she really is..She's had a word with her Tatay (Dad?) and he says he will leave her phone alone, and he understands why we Western men far away are sometime insecure about our emotions...I cannot wait until October when we go back to our own place in China....with our little boy..(his nickname amongst the family of her's is...Xerox) strange name that??? I thought it would be Gwapo Xerox?? hehehehe.... thank you all again, just needed to get the guilt off of my chest so to speak...

[joebloggs]

Like the last time you said 'I DO'?

first time and the last time

well her dad did offer to show me his gun collection

[kimmi]

its good to know Jackmack that everything is ok now with u and ur wife..

sometimes when we we're really inlove or caring for a person every single detail is so important for us, and it's also hard when ure miles apart from each other.. but well LOVE conquers all..

I do hope ur mother -in law will get well soon..

[mickcant]

I too am glad that all was ok, the language difference is another thing we need to keep aware of but that cannot stop us thinking the worst when someone very dear to us could be lost.
Mick.

[jackmac452]

Thank you all for your kind words. Now I realize how silly I was to jump the gun.. triply stupid I was... but in a way, it's brought us much closer together..My friend also had the same experience and they were closer afterward too.. Even Nanay had a good laugh about it on the phone to me... Still...it's pulled me down a peg or two. and made me realize how much I am, so, so lucky to have a woman who is so good to me waiting for me with my new son....Again, many thanks for your time and words..

[aposhark]

......but I hope no one else goes silly like I did and makes a fool of himself.........

These LDR's can be a real strain at times. We can all have bad days and sometimes these misunderstandings get amplified.

If our wives, fiancees or girlfriends were next to us all the time, we could sort problems out more easily.
I think that these sort of problems can help to get to know each other better.
Sometimes it is good to apologise after making a mistake, we're only human after all.

[aposhark]

its good to know Jackmack that everything is ok now with u and ur wife..

sometimes when we we're really inlove or caring for a person every single detail is so important for us, and it's also hard when ure miles apart from each other.. but well LOVE conquers all..

I do hope ur mother -in law will get well soon..

Kimmi, you are so thoughtful and caring. These attributes of a Filipina were so noticeable to me when I started to know my wife.
Kindness breeds kindness..........