The past

[conie]

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women? and what if when you threw it in a bin, he found out and got angry on you and said If you won't return it back you will have a major fall out??? that's just devastating ,isn't it? Do you think you have no right to throw it at all? or is it an insult for you cos you are the wife now and what's the point of keeping them? I think you will think that how can he lose you but not them past pictures and letters??? help plssss....

[conie]

conie;

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women? and what if when you threw it in a bin, he found out and got angry on you and said If you won't return it back you will have a major fall out??? that's just devastating ,isn't it?

Do you think you have no right to throw it at all? or is it an insult for you cos you are the wife now and what's the point of keeping them? I think you will think that how can he lose you but not them past pictures and letters??? help plssss....

[IainBusby]

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women?

This is definately a big NO NO. I think if my wife found that I had kept pictures or letters from any of my ex's, she'd skin me alive or maybe worse. Maybe you should try talking to him, try to find out why he feels the need to hold on to these things from his past.
Iain.

[nids123]

in my case i have seen my husband a few pic and letter from his ex,which is he lift it here now with me here in phil and his now in uk,i dont mind his keeping them its his remembrance for him i dont mind.coz for me he has a right to do fow what he wants we dont have a right to traw things what he has unless he is the one who is ask us to traw it.i think b4 u do that u should ask him first y he has keeping them.

[Ann07]

Ohhhh

He should have told you that he still keep all those pixz and tell him how you feel about having them. My husband was never been married when i met him but kept letters from his ex fiancee which he throws all when i came here. He kept them for 11 years in the atic
and he said that was finished ive got a new beautiful life now


Hope you will sort it out together, heart to heart talk about your feelings

[Mrs.JMajor]

I hope ,its not "troll" again

As for respect to the partner he/she no need to keep it,since you already married,and he shouldnt say that word to you "major fall out"

you both need to talk,calm and with respect,good luck

[Mrs Daddy]

in my case i read them all and asked him to keep it away from me

[Sophie]

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women? and what if when you threw it in a bin, he found out and got angry on you and said If you won't return it back you will have a major fall out??? that's just devastating ,isn't it? Do you think you have no right to throw it at all? or is it an insult for you cos you are the wife now and what's the point of keeping them? I think you will think that how can he lose you but not them past pictures and letters??? help plssss....

Hi conie First of all, i know it hurts to find out your hubby still keep photos and letters of his women in the past. But i think its not a good idea to just throw it all on the bin specially without his knowledge, its a bit disrespectful.
What i would do if i were on your shoes, is to talk to him about it and tell him how hurt and uncomfortable i feel about him still keeping and holding on to those photos and letters. And i will tell him straight and give him an ultimatum that if he don't get rid of those photos and letters, then we will have a falling out. It's either me or those photos and letters. And he has to be the one to get rid and throw it all on the bin, not me.

[russ01539]

hi conie, you have the right to do that cos your the wife now, what matters most is the present..i can understand what you feel cos it happens to me, i've done the same thing as u did, but my husband never gets angry at me, infact he was a bit scared when i confronted him and said he just forget to get rid of it before i arrive..

[vbkelly]

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women? and what if when you threw it in a bin, he found out and got angry on you and said If you won't return it back you will have a major fall out??? that's just devastating ,isn't it? Do you think you have no right to throw it at all? or is it an insult for you cos you are the wife now and what's the point of keeping them? I think you will think that how can he lose you but not them past pictures and letters??? help plssss....

its a bit strange photos n 5 differents women i don't mind 1 but 5 hmmm, in my personal point of view you don't have a right to throw it with out knowing him and that his personal belongings. that 5 women are parts of your husband's life before you came into his life so you must to understand him.

[Piamed]

No one has the right to throw out something that belongs to another person. No one! Many men, in particular, keep things, not necessarily because they need it but just beacuse it's there. If you come across something and you don't like it then talk to him about it. In many cases he was unaware of it and will happily throw it away. If he chooses not to then that is another matter for you to discuss.

Every woman behaves differently and different men admire particular traits and behaviours in a woman; perhaps your hubby does not appreciate you destroying property that belongs to him. I personally believe you were in the wrong and should apologise for what you did. You will then probably find out that he was more angry about the principle of what you did rather than the loss of those particular pics. He will then apologise also and everything will be rosey again.

Pia found pics of my ex and I only became aware of their existence several weeks after she found them as she made a reference to a shoe my ex was wearing in one of the pics. I wanted to destry them but she said no; I should return them to my ex as its not nice to destroy them. I asked her to look after them until I could do so, which she did. Then I returned them to my ex. I admired her more for her maturity, poise and thoughtfulness for both myself and my ex and my exes family.

It probably helps that she knows she has all my love and I cherish her so much. She also knew all about my ex and was always concerned about her. That's why she's my queen.

[kentish]

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women? and what ifwhen you threw it in a bin, he found out and got angry on you and said If you won't return it back you will have a major fall out??? that's just devastating ,isn't it? Do you think you have no right to throw it at all? or is it an insult for you cos you are the wife now and what's the point of keeping them? I think you will think that how can he lose you but not them past pictures and letters??? help plssss....

Dear thats his past, you either accept it or forget it so long as they are not disturbing you and your hubby.

Honestly if I were you, I would collect all his past womens photos then put it in a nice photo album in sequence,then mark it there from past to present,of course your photo has to be included.Believe me dear it would be fun to look at them with your hubby then ask him who's the best.

[Piamed]

Dear thats his past, you either accept it or forget it so long as they are not disturbing you and your hubby.

Honestly if I were you, I would collect all his past womens photos then put it in a nice photo album in sequence,then mark it there from past to present,of course your photo has to be included.Believe me dear it would be fun to look at them with your hubby

then ask him who's the best

Someone on the forum tried asking something similar recently and did not receive the reply she wanted.

[aposhark]

I am with Piamed on this one.

I think if you love someone, you have to accept each other's past.
Everyone has a past.
Photos and letters are just memories and should not cause anyone to be jealous.

I mean, where do people draw the line?
If someone has an expensive painting of someone in their past for example, do we destroy that?

I think we should accept each other unconditionally.

Jealousy eats people from the inside.

Love your partner and help them with the past, present and future.....but don't feel resentment at their past life, but try to understand them.

It would be respectful to keep old photos and letters out of sight, and if necessary, discuss these things within the strength of your new love.

Better to try to spend energy trying to love each other more than to waste energy trying to control them.

Freedom is trust, and trust is one of the biggest parts of love.

[LEAHnew]

Dear thats his past, you either accept it or forget it so long as they are not disturbing you and your hubby.

Honestly if I were you, I would collect all his past womens photos then put it in a nice photo album in sequence,then mark it there from past to present,of course your photo has to be included.Believe me dear it would be fun to look at them with your hubby then ask him who's the best.

I agree It's a fun thing to do


Goodluck Conie may you resolve it with loving and understanding heart

Leah

[conie]

Hi all of you...

Really really ... thank you for your advices. really awaken me!!! Registering here is the best thing I did than asking a close person who's mate to him. I think the idea of making an album is fun but not for now... I will let the pain go first before doing that. These past few days, I just can't stop thinking about it and it affected me so much. Perhaps, jealousy but as what you have said, we are married now and what's more can i ask than to be happy with our marriage and yes, I've got no right to throw them in a bin without his knowledge. Its maybe the reason he said the word "major fall out" because I disrespected him, not because of the photos and letters.

Thank you so much and God bless... More power...x

[KeithD]

My wife accepted me even though I used to be a lesbian

[Ping]

Connie, jealousy is no good in married life and means you are insecure. Just calm down and put yourself at ease. Don't dwell on his past. You are his present life and that means you're the best .He married you becuase you mean everything to him.

So enjoy and love his company every single day. Be happy.

Cheers and Goodluck to you.

[nids123]

My wife accepted me even though I used to be a lesbian

[Florge]

If my husband was a lesbian..... hhhhmmm... does that mean I'm a lesbian too??? OH NO!!!!

[Mrs.JMajor]

My wife accepted me even though I used to be a lesbian

[Sophie]

Someone on the forum tried asking something similar recently and did not receive the reply she wanted.

I agree with you pia, i read that one too and she got really hurt coz she did not get the reply she was hoping for from her hubby.
In my opinion, its best not to touch nor dwell on the past. And its particularly not a good idea to ask your hubby to rate all the women he had in the past and compare to you, and ask who is/was the best and who he loves the most. It's best to just focus and nurture the relationship you have and just appreciate and enjoy the marriage you have now and let the love you have for each other grow even more without being haunted by his past or any other past.

[kentish]

Someone on the forum tried asking something similar recently and did not receive the reply she wanted.

Then she should have proceeded doing the vodoo or is it called wicthcraft to whoever among his past girls he thinks is best , instead of his present wife.

[kentish]

hiya,

Just wondering what will you do if you found out your husband has still been keeping pictures and letters of his past 5 women? and letters??? help plssss....

Or what about doing it the other way round? If you still got any past bf's photos, just tell him thats your past and they were once part of your life.

I've known somebody who kept all her past bf's photos and when she got married the hubby saw it in a photo album,ripped the picutures but the girl stupidly wrote their names on the album. So the photos were gone but the names were still there,(long as u dont call their names while you're dreaming if it was you).

I'm sure trust is one strong foundation to a healthy relationship.

[conie]

I think you are right by saying I'm insecure because when i've seen them photos, they are more sexy than me and has bigger b**bs . you know!!! hahaha!!!

But I'm trying to convince myself now I'm more beautiful than them... To make myself feels better. But thank you anyway for advice. Appreciate that... God bless...

[conie]

I don't think I can do what you said because my husband is my first and I want him to be my last Thank you anyway, I wish I have some to show him. haha!!! God bless