Thanks Jay,
We have spoken at lengh and both look here for answers
Having come long way in relationship and thought everything planned well for our matrimonial life together,I was happy to give small token payment every month to fiance s family,but now at this late stage,not only do we need to send money it has become my/our responsibility to do so
Only if you agree!!Originally Posted by PAT
What is your lady and siblings contributing to the parents now? If its a real amount relative to Fils incomes no reason not to discuss being able to continue at that level ground rules now could be a priority.
On a slightly off note but rather brilliant is the story I read elsewhere (in Tailand) of a guy
he'd not been that long married. One of his wife's brothers had got himself into a hell of a mess and run up a gambling debt equivalent to about a year's local salary - I'd guess at todays prices, the equivalent of about around 60,000 pesos. Naturally enough, according to the brother of course, his sister's new 'fabulously wealthy' husband via his sister, was the first port of call or port in a storm.
the American guy point blank refused. But he could see that this was going to fester and get worse and worse and be an issue if he didn't find some way to resolve it. So he stayed up late and thought things through.
in the morning, he made her an offer. The gambling-debt brother wasn't the only brother she had. He had six others, all of them of working age. He proposed to her that he'd give each of the six brothers 10,000 pesos apiece and they could then sort out their brother's debts between them.
the woman recoiled in horror. No way. They won't give it him. They'll just each of them keep the money.
to which he had the perfect riposte : 'If they don't even pass on the money, even when somebody has just given it to them rather than earned it, like I have, and they're his natural brothers, then why the hell should I?'
Food for thought seperating need from opportunism
Absit invidia
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As Keith says if it is an amount that is around that of the average income in Phils, then I'm sure you will find it affordable. The trouble is, when a foriegner comes into the equation and their daughter is going to live and work in the land of milk and honey, the expectations of the family back home in Phils are quite often not even in the same ballpark as the average Phils income.What is your lady and siblings contributing to the parents now? If its a real amount relative to Fils incomes no reason not to discuss being able to continue at that level
Brilliant.
Iain.
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