do you take this woman(+family) for your...

[Florge]

this is a very good reply!!!

yep, i so agree with Cheesewiz, the reason you get married in the 1st place is because you want to spend more time together... To have a life together, To start a family etc. etc. etc... It is not because, she wanted to marry you just because she could send money back home...

Good luck mate!

I totally agree with you!!! hayyyyy....

[cheesewiz]

on my part my main purpose of being here in UK mainly to work and help my parents as much as I could.

I understand what PAT concerned is, suddenly he got an extra responsibility which is shocking for someone who have no idea what he's into. Me and my bf start a chatting about it (sending money for family back home) I know he's a bit confuse but I am not rushing him to understand it as he said everyday he's learning new things about me and me being a filipino.

for some foreigners marrying a filipino is like marrying the whole family....either you Love it or Hate it? All the best and hope everything will be settle nicely

[trader dave]

all i will say is dont start what you cant carry on because if you do oooo dear big problem

[lbechner]

Hey there!

Be VERY careful with this. It can make or break the relationship. Please consider a prenup agreement to protect yourself. You're getting married in the UK I assume? Here in the Philippines it's illegal to get divorced. There it's common place and she can take you for all you're worth. I'm not saying she will as I don't know the lady. Please don't be upset by what I'm saying, but you can't be too careful. I've had many Brit friends here get into bad situations and when they decide to go home they still have to support her family as well. When they don't, they end up losing their Filipino family and paying their wives a great deal of support for them and their children. They win big and you lose big. Honestly, if she really loves you for you and not what you can do for her family then whe will have no problems signing a prenup. If she has a problem then I'd be sending her back home. If it works out, send what you can when you can but don't be suprised if the odd "emergency" crops up from them needing to pay utilities, hospital bills, new refs, etc. It's just the culture. They can't help themselves. Philippinos can be great people but by and large they are also very deceiving and geared towards money whether it's theirs and particularly yours.

Don't get me wrong. I have some wonderful local friends here that I really trust. I have a young couple working for me in my house with their young baby. They've been with me for almost three years. I pay them monthly and provide room and board. They have a real bedroom (actually larger than my own) and not a little maid's quarters like most people do to their employees. I trust them with everything literally. My house, my dogs who are like my children, paying the bills, groceries, etc. They cook, clean and maintain everything. Yet, unlike most homes here, we all eat dinner together like a family. Still, even they sometimes ask for advances to send their parents money and such. Just last night I was asked for money to send to her brother for school supplies and his school uniform. So yes, even though I am not married into the family, I am part of it. Their little boy calls me lola (grandma) and I love him like my own and spoil him terribly. And, yes, I will probably pay for him to go to a good school when his time comes. I even paid the hospital bill from his birth.

I have learned though from my experiences. They are going to her parent's for vacation in a few days so instead of sending money, I will buy his school supplies and send them with them for him. I will shop and look into prices of local uniforms and send only enough for that. This way I know the money will be used for it's intended purpose (at least most of it). School doesn't start again until June so time isn't an issue.

That's my story and my advice. Just be careful. The fact that this was sprung on you at the last minute makes me wonder a bit. I suggest you hit some of the Filipino Culture websites for more information to see what you are really getting into. It seems you obviously haven't been here or, if you did visit, weren't able to stay long enough to get a good grasp of the culture. I've been here over three years and am still struggling with the culture. Good luck! You're geting a lot of good advice from everyone on this forum.

[trader dave]

i will add this that any filipino family that you invest your hard earned money in will DROP you like a stone if you and your dear wife fall out divorce whatever, i tell tell that from personal experiance .

the way i look at it now is once that money has settled in the philippines you will NEVER see it again back in yr uk account