Costs of courtship/Marriage to a filipina ?

[aryM]

this is very very interesting read. though i am not in this situation. but i cant help thinking man, these girls are lucky having someone to foot their bills.

i think i am one of the very few female pinay's who have to pay for everything i have... but then again i dont have the "looks and built" that can propel a guy to give her monthly baon..

life is ruled by compansation hahahaha

congratulations ofr such an informative post

Hello Firelady, i guess we're the same when it comes to that situation. I have a Brit bf but i don't ask anything like paying bills or ask him to buy something,.. i have to pay for everything i need.

[Mrs.JMajor]

Hello Firelady, i guess we're the same when it comes to that situation. I have a Brit bf but i don't ask anything like paying bills or ask him to buy something,.. i have to pay for everything i need.

They are lucky isnt it ?

[NtoN]

Hello Firelady, i guess we're the same when it comes to that situation. I have a Brit bf but i don't ask anything like paying bills or ask him to buy something,.. i have to pay for everything i need.

Hello aryM, first of all, big thanks for listing me on the visa waitlist. Count me in in this "argument". Like you & Firelady, i'm also one of the few pinays who pays for my needs. Ive been living independently for many years now meaning I am responsible for everything in my life (house rent, cellphone bills & everything). But the sweet thing is, my boyfriend provided me with a laptop & an internet connection which I didnt ask. It was his surprise gift

[asiansmiler]

AndyPaul, you are such a big help... Thanks, you are inspiring a lot of us here, and for you Nora, I have been in the same boat. But being totally honest with him, could set you free. You will have peace of mind and all... as soon as you both talk it out, and from there, take it....

[NotYou]

Is it only me that finds this so clinical?

The cost of shipping your prize back home. No mention of love and passion and hate.

Cost of visa, cost of engagement party, cost of buying off family, cost of presents, airfare, stamps, etc. The financial price you pay. What of emotional costs?

People please realise these are real lives, real people, real emotions.

Money counts for nothing. Yes I say this, even though I know we speak of economic migrants, so very desperate to leave the grinding poverty, the prize that has been drilled into the poor souls from birth, "find a foreign husband, leave this life of making do."

Please know that there is a trade off.

You speak of Minder, the Banana Splits, Swap Shop, Oasis, Thatcher, Egg and Chips, Tandoori, Lager, Taxes, Bus Fares, Cold Weather etc etc (I use capitalisarion deliberately).

She smiles and laughs where appropriately.

We come from different cultures, we are not the same. She is not your soul mate, it is all pretend. Grow to love each other. Why does a 20 year old "fall in love" with a 60 year old? It's a no brainer.

[joebloggs]

Is it only me that finds this so clinical?


We come from different cultures, we are not the same. She is not your soul mate, it is all pretend. Grow to love each other. Why does a 20 year old "fall in love" with a 60 year old? It's a no brainer.

yes i think it's just you

why not in 16yrs time, when you're 60 trade the misses in for a 20 year old, and then tell me why

[NotYou]

You must be right joebloggs, it is "normal" for a 20 year old girl to be married to a 60 year old. Why, we see it all the time in British culture don't we? No, we do not. It is un-natural, and abnormal, but I suppose I does happen.

Try it myself? Have thought about that too. But why would some firm, exuberant young girl be interested in my saggy old, cantankerous self? Apart from the economic factor, of course. Also wonder what my kids (who will then be 22 and 29 years old) will think? Of course they will pat me on the back and say, "good on you Dad".

Perhaps not.

Even in the relatively short time I have been visiting the Philippines (since my early 30's) I have noticed the change in the reception I get. The girls used to fight for my attention. Now I sit and ponder. When I am 60, what will I need to do to attract attention.

[joebloggs]

what will I need to do to attract attention.

you could try a pair of socks down the front, and not the back of your shorts or a 'bill gates is my bother' t-shirt

but there is some truth in what you say, but then everyone's story is different.

i'm just hoping my misses gets a well paid full time job, and i get some money back b4 she finds a toyboy

[Tawi2]

You must be right joebloggs, it is "normal" for a 20 year old girl to be married to a 60 year old. Why, we see it all the time in British culture don't we? No, we do not. It is un-natural, and abnormal, but I suppose I does happen.

Try it myself? Have thought about that too. But why would some firm, exuberant young girl be interested in my saggy old, cantankerous self? Apart from the economic factor, of course. Also wonder what my kids (who will then be 22 and 29 years old) will think? Of course they will pat me on the back and say, "good on you Dad".

Perhaps not.

Even in the relatively short time I have been visiting the Philippines (since my early 30's) I have noticed the change in the reception I get. The girls used to fight for my attention. Now I sit and ponder. When I am 60, what will I need to do to attract attention.

You sound like a mirror version of me

[bornatbirth]

You sound like a mirror version of me

that maybe the case but you have a sense of humour?

[bystander09]

Even in the relatively short time I have been visiting the Philippines (since my early 30's) I have noticed the change in the reception I get. The girls used to fight for my attention. Now I sit and ponder. When I am 60, what will I need to do to attract attention.

When you are 60, and if you crave for the attention of 20 year olds, then head of to Angeles City... there will be a bar girl waiting for a sugar daddy just like you.

If you have honourable intent, then accept that no 20 year old self respecting Pinay will be interested in marrying a gravity ravaged 60 year old.

Find someone in your age group that you can head off into the sunset with in your motor home..

bystander

[Mrs.JMajor]

We come from different cultures, we are not the same. She is not your soul mate, it is all pretend. Grow to love each other. Why does a 20 year old "fall in love" with a 60 year old? It's a no brainer.

We been discussing this issue long time here on the forum...i can sense your sentiment.... ... with your wife

[bornatbirth]

are you telling us more about yourself?

[Arthur Little]

are you telling us more about yourself?

I for one, find myself unable to comment on the rest of what member 'Not You' is trying to convey here, but his penultimate sentence most certainly begs the question as to what ulterior motive lies behind a 20-year-old "falling in love" with a 60-year-old man. Since visiting the Phils twice last year, I've frequently wondered the same thing myself, having witnessed many instances of young Filipinas forming an attachment to guys who are more than likely to be considerably older than their fathers! And no,I'm NOT jealous, I just find it very sad!

[NotYou]

No and yes, young Mr bornatbirth,

I had none of the financial costs. Just tried to manage the silly, mis-informed girl I married. Her mother, educated, urbane. Still forced the stupid paradigm on my wife, her daughter, "marry a foreigner and escape".

But, yes. I make jokes and references to British culture even now (after many years of marriage). And we share none of it, culture that is. Becomes rather tiring I can tell you.

[NotYou]

Next time I visit Manila I will sit and dribble see if I remind them of anyone.

[trader dave]

yes the age thing is a little strange to those dribbling on the outside i have seen it 1000's of time when i been wondering around the streets in the philippines why are those young chicks with them old d*icks of course it the love of the dollor or the £ but we have to look into it a lot deeper than that thats not the only reason but i am not even going to discuss that my daughter is only 2 years younger than my new wife and after 2 previous marriages and ASSUMING ALL women are after 50 % when you divorce i am going to spend my last few years with a little darling looking after me ANY PROBLEM WITH THAT

[future=dreams]

It's obvious that any pinay lady will want things to change for the better if she marries. Thats true of Cheryljane her mother was widowed and spent most of life watching her mother getting knocked from pillar to post so shes been a 2nd class citizen in a family she doesn't feel truly part of. So when i met her earning a living in a site I won't mention I saw a maganda pinay and told her talked to her like a person and gradually we became close.
Eventually got to the bottom of she was earning 5000 or 6000 pesos a month which i said I'd cover and buy her a ferry ticket from Manila to Dumaguete where she is now. I get her 8000 a month or so not a fortune but she doesn't want that she so pleased with small things that show her i care. That she learned piano on a scholarship but cannot play even the church she uses is too poor to afford one so i got one on ebay and had to call her at 2am as she wanted to know.
Anyway shes applied for a contract job in manila and will stay with a cousin so she does not need an allowance and i can get out there faster so its not all money for her and as for me maybe its nice making a difference.

[lordfortesque]

Have you ever thought about what the likely cost would be, if you wanted to court a Filipina with a view to an eventual marriage, few actually count the cost, if you haven’t thought about it, maybe its time you did, because in many cases, you will need to treat this like a project, why do I say this, well for one thing, the cost of courting a Filipina and taking it to eventual marriage, can have an adverse effect on your wallet, so do you have deep pockets, hmm you might need them.

I don’t want to scare anyone, that is not my intention, because in truth, even if you don’t have lots of savings, you can actually take this process stage by stage, and if you are that keen to marry a Filipina, you can save up for each stage as it comes, however, this can also go to lengthen the process for many, however the Immigration process can be quite expensive so, I have posted a timeline with actual real time expenses to show readers what is involved.

Before you jump in with both feet, my suggestion is simple, you should sit down and do some calculations and see where you are, see if you have the necessary funds and or income to go through with this type of project.

I will list first the one time expenses, these are expenses that you will probably only spend money on once, but are a necessary step.

Your one time visit to the Philippines to meet your loved one, this is a requirement that you must have met your intended, this is the minimum requirement for a VAF2 2003 Fiancée visa. This cost includes Round trip air tickets to Manila/Cebu, accommodation, food, trips, etc £2000-£3000.00
A Return trip should you choose to marry in the Philippines, this could include Round Trip air tickets, Accommodation, Food, Honeymoon, Wedding costs, etc the cost for this one off expense is around £3000.00 - £4000.00
Passport photos needed along the way. £10.00
Passport photos required for you in various forms needed by authorities in Philippines around £15.00
Cost of submitting An Application on VAFW 2003 for either a fiancée visa or a spouse visa is £260.00
Cost of obtaining a CNI (Certificate of no Impediment to marriage) in UK, the cost is around £30.00
Cost of obtaining a local CNI (Legal Capacity for marriage) in the Philippines - cost will be around £25.00
Cost of round trip tickets for you and your loved one to travel from Provinces to attend CFO Seminar (Commission for Filipinos overseas) in Manila/Cebu including hotel. Cost around £150.00
Cost of CFO Seminar £2.00
Cost of new Passport for your loved one, approximately £35.00
Cost of Applying for duplicate birth certificates at NSO (National Statistics office) in Philippines is circa £25.00
Cost of Marriage License in locality of Marriage if in Philippines £35.00
Cost of Air Ticket for your loved one to Come to UK once visa is approved, from £650.00 to £1000.00
Cost of buying her a cell phone considering that she made need one to contact you regularly, £150-300.00 depending on model.
One time cost of buying warm clothes associated with her transit to a colder climate, new Boots, winter clothes, jackets, coats, umbrella, mittens, scarf, woollies, Electric blanket for the bed, she will freeze ! Money for her to bring a Rice cooker ! She has to cook rice ! Cost around £500.00
Cost of round trip ticket for possible 2nd visit to be available to British Embassy should your presence be required at interview for settlement (VAF2003) Cost including hotels, food, gifts, expenses, £2000-£3000.
She might want to throw a leaving party for all her friends, work colleagues, and family cost likely to be around £50.00 to £100.00



Ongoing expenses during a courtship with a Filipina on a monthly basis.

Provision of Sustento, possibly to maintain her in a apartment now that she is your fiancée monthly cost could be from £20.00 to £100.00 per month
Fiancée or spouse allowances anything from £50.00 to £500.00 depending on circumstances (This is a requirement if being interviewed at British Embassy, showing evidence of support.)
Phone cards during courtship period, visa processing, and other associated calls, cost per month to be around £100.00
Assistance with her going on more regular occasions to internet café’s £20.00 a month.
New clothes, hair visits, nails and general beauty treatments, can be taken from allowance monthly.
Cost of birth control when you are visiting the Philippines (don’t laugh) it’s a requirement, unless you want a little more evidence of relationship than you expected ! (come on guys, that was damn funny, lighten up a little ) Cost £5.00 per month.


Costs associated with New Filipina wife or Fiancée in UK.

Costs of increased telephone usage during first few months when she arrives in UK - calling cards, BT, NTL World, etc, bills increase rapidly cost around £100-£400.00 per month.
Costs of obtaining special foods for her like, trips to Manila Supermarket, trips to fish markets, etc, obtaining Asian foods, extra cost £100.00 per month.
Costs of her own special allowance if on Fiancée visa, (she cannot work) around
£??? To £???
Extra costs incurred if she wants to all of a sudden learn to drive ? Cost £100.00 to
£250.00 per month for lessons, extra insurances for your car, upping your no claims bonus premium from reasonable to extortionate.
Extra costs if she wants a new car ?? £???? To £?????
Costs of initial 2 months together, entertainment, showing her around, taking her to London, or Manchester or Sheffield, or Cardiff, or Birmingham, or Edinbrough or Glasgow, etc etc, in other words, its costs money to take her around, this will be almost like another dating period costs £??? Who knows ??


As you can see, its impossible to put down to paper all the costs involved in pursuing a Filipina, but I will say this, whatever you decide to do, think carefully, its only fair to her and fair to you, “Its not cheap to court a Filipina�, you are not going to get a woman of this quality on the cheap, so I hope this has helped, and even when you have spent all of this money, its not always guaranteed that you are going to get the woman of your dreams, you heard the phrase “You pays your money, you takes your chances� well this is certainly true, I hope this gives you some insight into what is involved, best of luck with what you decide to do, in my estimation its going to cost you around £10,000 to £15,000 to successfully court a Filipina over a period of from six months to 2 years, depending on various factors.

This cost of course can be spread over a long period, however the cost roughly will work out to be the same whichever way you do it, either you have the savings, or you earn it as you go along.

Ouch Ha ha ha that hurts !!!!!

ouch, ouch, are you trying to put me off"""""

[Jay&Zobel]

ouch, ouch, are you trying to put me off"""""

Reality hurts... lol... (take note the year when GinaPete posted this thread...) lol might be more expensive by now

[Tawi2]

True love is priceless,you cant value it,someone who will stick with you through hell and high water,ride lifes roller coaster alongside you?Who can put monetary value on that?Its only money,beside a real 100% genuine partner it means absolutely nothing,you can always earn more

[Mrs.JMajor]

True love is priceless,you cant value it,someone who will stick with you through hell and high water,ride lifes roller coaster alongside you?Who can put monetary value on that?Its only money,beside a real 100% genuine partner it means absolutely nothing,you can always earn more

So are you ready to get married now, and interested in Filipina? But make sure the ot.. didnt shrank ha

[Tawi2]

We all have crosses to bear in this life Mrs M,that just happens to be mine sadly

[hobbit2009]

Hey Nora,ima newbie here to but if you have any doubts you should drop him. Bit harsh but sounds like he's hiding something an that could be bad if you came over here. Imnew to all this myself and i have a girlfriend with 2 kids in Cebu, weve been chatting/dating for quite awhile now but i realised very quickly how hard it is financially for people over there. My gf works but she gets short changed every week an even though im not rich i always managed to send her some each month, even few english pounds can go a long way over there. So he would know all that by now. Anyway thats my personal opinion for what its worth.

[eagles]

Hello aryM, first of all, big thanks for listing me on the visa waitlist. Count me in in this "argument". Like you & Firelady, i'm also one of the few pinays who pays for my needs. Ive been living independently for many years now meaning I am responsible for everything in my life (house rent, cellphone bills & everything). But the sweet thing is, my boyfriend provided me with a laptop & an internet connection which I didnt ask. It was his surprise gift

lucky ladies

[KeithD]

Methinks someone is still stuck in the 1930's!!!

It must be a hard life when wifey is doing the housework, and the poor man has to go out risking his life to hunt down extinct Mammoths

[Margarita]

Hi Nora,

i believe that you and your fiancee must have a serious discussion of what is on your mind while there are still chances to sort them out....Tell him what and how you feel of the situation as he may not aware....Open up everything to him as you have been engaged for a year now, right? so i believe you can only settle all the questions in your mind if you tell him all of them.....

Good luck Nora and wish both of you the best... and opps, PRAYING HARD helps alot.....leave everything to God's hand while you are also doing your part....and you will see, He will guide you to your steps.....and decisions in life.....

Good luck and see you around....God bless you too....

[Seer]

Well this is the second thread I read here, the 1st after joining, love is for the rich only it seems.. We will have barcoded souls next...

[grahamw48]

Long distance love certainly needs a bit in the bank to bring to fruition, that is true.

Sort of 'feathering one's nest ?

Better than the taxpayer funding the results of all the home-grown easy come easy go failures.

[Seer]

Hmm I was actually pondering that angle whilst making a coffee after posting that. Was thinking there are costs involved with UK dating and marriage, I guess maybe we just don't think about it let alone produce an itemised bill when its a homegrown romance.