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  1. #1
    Respected Member allyn's Avatar
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    my dad died last tuesday

    i got a call from my mom last tuesday saying that my dad died..
    (theres already a big whole in his lungs and his diabetes make it worse)
    it hurt me more that anything in this world...

    just a couple of weeks ago my dad is complaining about that not able to breath properly and my sister have to borrow nebulizer from neighbor,,,i told my mom ill buy him nebulizer so he can have it anytime he need it...but that same day that im goin to send that stuff is desame day i got a call from my mom about my dad..

    the moment i heard it i was so shock that i fell down from where im standing and just started crying,,,my manager saw me broke down so she took the phone and talk to my mom,,,she just gave me back the phone when i was able to talk...but im still crying,,,
    i wanted to run to the nearest airport and just fly back to the philippines but reality hit me...
    i cant,,,we just paid our monthly expenses and i have not much enough savings in my account to get a very expensive flight (because its Easter holiday, flights is so expensive)
    i gave my hubby a call when i got home and my hubby went back to our home as soon as he can,,,he hug me and kiss me when he saw me crying in the sofa...he said he is goin to do something to get me a flight but i know to do so he have to get a loan somewhere else, wich is not a good option, because i dont want him to get into debt ,,,and if he get it, both of us will suffer for it when i get back....so i told him not to get any loan
    i told my mom my situation and she said my dad will understand us,,,and they understand me...
    but even tho deep inside i feel like i should have done some thing more...
    coz last month i didnt accept partime housekeeping job at week end in the hotel to get some rest...i have work 7 months without week end off just to save up money to get my mom here for a vacation,,,so i though ill take a rest for a month in my week end partme job...and so i did,,,but this horrible news came about my dad,,and it cought me unguarded,,,i wish i didnt take that whole month, week end job off...
    all i did is cry the whole day,,,but i tried to put on my brave face and go to work the next day because i dont want to stay in our flat and just cry,,,
    All the staff in the office was so supportive and so is the nurses,,they offer a mass for my dad and tried to comfort me...
    i got a friend from here who i was able to call to and talk to ,,,she gave me an advice and she also tried to comfort me ...
    i didnt get much any emotional support from my inlaw...it does hurt me,,,but i just tried to ignore them,,,
    my husband is been very supportive to me,,,he always hug me and tried to take care of me in this dark moment...

    even tho im so desperate to see my dad for the last time,,,i cant...i wish its that easy,,,,,i just wish...

    sorry for long story,,,
    just sharing my thoughts
    I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it...


  2. #2
    Respected Member Eljohno's Avatar
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    You have nothing to feel guilty about as you have tried your best...

    Your husband will be a great support to you as long as you let him.


  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by allyn View Post
    i got a call from my mom last tuesday saying that my dad died..
    (theres already a big whole in his lungs and his diabetes make it worse)
    it hurt me more that anything in this world...

    just a couple of weeks ago my dad is complaining about that not able to breath properly and my sister have to borrow nebulizer from neighbor,,,i told my mom ill buy him nebulizer so he can have it anytime he need it...but that same day that im goin to send that stuff is desame day i got a call from my mom about my dad..

    the moment i heard it i was so shock that i fell down from where im standing and just started crying,,,my manager saw me broke down so she took the phone and talk to my mom,,,she just gave me back the phone when i was able to talk...but im still crying,,,
    i wanted to run to the nearest airport and just fly back to the philippines but reality hit me...
    i cant,,,we just paid our monthly expenses and i have not much enough savings in my account to get a very expensive flight (because its Easter holiday, flights is so expensive)
    i gave my hubby a call when i got home and my hubby went back to our home as soon as he can,,,he hug me and kiss me when he saw me crying in the sofa...he said he is goin to do something to get me a flight but i know to do so he have to get a loan somewhere else, wich is not a good option, because i dont want him to get into debt ,,,and if he get it, both of us will suffer for it when i get back....so i told him not to get any loan
    i told my mom my situation and she said my dad will understand us,,,and they understand me...
    but even tho deep inside i feel like i should have done some thing more...
    coz last month i didnt accept partime housekeeping job at week end in the hotel to get some rest...i have work 7 months without week end off just to save up money to get my mom here for a vacation,,,so i though ill take a rest for a month in my week end partme job...and so i did,,,but this horrible news came about my dad,,and it cought me unguarded,,,i wish i didnt take that whole month, week end job off...
    all i did is cry the whole day,,,but i tried to put on my brave face and go to work the next day because i dont want to stay in our flat and just cry,,,
    All the staff in the office was so supportive and so is the nurses,,they offer a mass for my dad and tried to comfort me...
    i got a friend from here who i was able to call to and talk to ,,,she gave me an advice and she also tried to comfort me ...
    i didnt get much any emotional support from my inlaw...it does hurt me,,,but i just tried to ignore them,,,
    my husband is been very supportive to me,,,he always hug me and tried to take care of me in this dark moment...

    even tho im so desperate to see my dad for the last time,,,i cant...i wish its that easy,,,,,i just wish...

    sorry for long story,,,
    just sharing my thoughts
    My condolences to you allyn and i'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my dad too long time ago and it was devastating. So i know how terrible the pain you must be feeling right now and what's more devastating is not being able to go home to say goodbye and to see him for the last time. I hope things will work out for you though and hopefully you can still be able to go home, to make it to your dad's funeral.


  4. #4
    Respected Member irobot's Avatar
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    Irobot..." Sunny... Different From The Rest..."

    Hi allyn, My condolences for your sad loss.... I do hope everything works out for you... Phil...
    ...A wild bird should never be caged as it breaks it`s spirit...The cage door is always open...


  5. #5
    Respected Member empott's Avatar
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    My deepest condolences to you and your family, Allyn. May you have the strength and comfort that you need in this trying time. My prayers are with you.
    Faith makes all things possible.
    makes them easy.


  6. #6
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    My deepest sympathy goes with you Allyn and to your family back home. I know how sad to depart to our love ones. I really hurts. Anyways, my prayer will be with you. God bless.


  7. #7
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    Condolence to you allyn.
    i know how you feel as my wife had gone the same thing. when she arrive here after a month her dad passed away. they were chatting the day before it happened and on that day she woke up with a phone call informing her about the sad news. all she can do is cry so i have to be strong for her and comfort her. she asked her brother in philippines to have the wake in their house then she can see him so they set up the pc and have the cam on.

    Just be strong. Life is really meant to end but nobody knows when. Just think he rest in peace and no more pain.


  8. #8
    Respected Member LEAHnew's Avatar
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    I can't avoid to be emotional Sis I feel for you, my prayers and condolence for you and your whole family.

    Leah(a.k.a kukurokuk)
    Don't make promises when you are in JOY. Don't reply when you are SAD.
    Don't take decisions when you are ANGRY. Think twice, Act wise. BE happy.


  9. #9
    Respected Member quickwillow's Avatar
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    My heart goes out to you Allayn, please don't feel guilty I'm sure you father would understand you if your not there

    May god's gentle love
    Heal your sorrow
    May our prayers ease your pain
    May you have a brighter tomorrow

    Take care


  10. #10
    Respected Member Piamed's Avatar
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    Dear Allyn

    I'm genuinely sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you feel. I'm happy you getting a lot of support from your hubby and pray for His divine comfort to shower you and your family.
    Be responsible with little so that you can be trusted with much!!
    _____________________


  11. #11
    Respected Member tiger@tigress's Avatar
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    My condolences
    tiger tigress

    ♥♥♥♥Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage♥♥♥♥.


  12. #12
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    My condolence and prayers for your family Allyn.
    My advise for you is get a cheaper flight. There's cheap flights offered by KLM. It cost 447£ for a period of 1 month. (Edinburgh/Glasgow/NewC- Manila). PIK-UK is offering 460£ Return.
    I think if you will make a loan of 700£, it may not be a big burden to you. At least you can pay last respect to your dad and see the whole family.
    I know how you have been supported your ill dad before, and this is the last thing you can do for him. But the choice is yours Allyn.
    Be strong! miss you


  13. #13
    Respected Member acs's Avatar
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    My condolences to you Allyn, may God ease your pain as well as the pain your family back home in the philippines must be feeling right now too.


  14. #14
    Respected Member allyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pennybarry View Post
    My condolence and prayers for your family Allyn.
    My advise for you is get a cheaper flight. There's cheap flights offered by KLM. It cost 447£ for a period of 1 month. (Edinburgh/Glasgow/NewC- Manila). PIK-UK is offering 460£ Return.
    I think if you will make a loan of 700£, it may not be a big burden to you. At least you can pay last respect to your dad and see the whole family.
    I know how you have been supported your ill dad before, and this is the last thing you can do for him. But the choice is yours Allyn.
    Be strong! miss you
    thanks penny for the message...
    we tried to get that flight,£447 but i think it was for a specific date,,not really sure,,,last tues, wed, thurs we tried to get the flight that i need but still end up much more expensive than 447..they sad its last minute flight and its easter holiday so its expensive...
    but last friday, all the ticket went down to around 500, i was goin to get it but when i called my mom she said that all my dad brothers and sisters and including my mom already talked about bringing my dad to his final resting place on saturday morning, they wanted to wait for me up to sunday or monday, but they cant, because its Fiesta in batangas (where my dad province is and where his final resting place will be) and in the next day, monday they will go back in their work. so if ill get flight on friday night, ill still miss my dads funeral..
    so my mom just ask me to offer a mass for my dad....
    so complicated,,,
    I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it...


  15. #15
    Respected Member allyn's Avatar
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    Thank you every one for all your message and Prayer
    I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it...


  16. #16
    Moderator joebloggs's Avatar
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    like penny said, if you feel you need to go, if it was my wife, i would worry about paying for the ticket later..

    you might/will regret not going later, life is too short to have regrets ..


  17. #17
    Respected Member allyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    like penny said, if you feel you need to go, if it was my wife, i would worry about paying for the ticket later..

    you might/will regret not going later, life is too short to have regrets ..
    thank you for the message,,,
    we tried to get that flight,£447 but i think it was for a specific date,,not really sure,,,last tues, wed, thurs we tried to get the flight that i need but still end up much more expensive than 447..they sad its last minute flight and its easter holiday so its expensive...
    but last friday, all the ticket went down to around 500, i was goin to get it but when i called my mom she said that all my dad brothers and sisters and including my mom already talked about bringing my dad to his final resting place on saturday morning, they wanted to wait for me up to sunday or monday, but they cant, because its Fiesta in batangas (where my dad province is and where his final resting place will be) and in the next day, monday they will go back in their work. so if ill get flight on friday night, ill still miss my dads funeral..
    so my mom just ask me to offer a mass for my dad....
    so complicated,,,
    I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it...


  18. #18
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joebloggs View Post
    like penny said, if you feel you need to go, if it was my wife, i would worry about paying for the ticket later..

    you might/will regret not going later, life is too short to have regrets ..


    Dear Allyn,

    I pray you & your family will be comforted at this very time...

    With regards to flying back home, Joebloggs & other members here are right.

    I lost my dad last year July08. He had a colon cancer and other medical complications. He died on a Thursday and my husband bought me flight return tickets on the same day (using lastminute.com). Flew to Philippines on a Friday. I was so hesitant to going back home as flights were too expensive, end up paying £900+. He was buried on a Sunday. I spent 2 weeks there with my mom & my family. I never regreted I went home.

    I pray you will be enlightened. But prayers are still the answer...

    Take care.


  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by allyn View Post
    thanks penny for the message...
    we tried to get that flight,£447 but i think it was for a specific date,,not really sure,,,last tues, wed, thurs we tried to get the flight that i need but still end up much more expensive than 447..they sad its last minute flight and its easter holiday so its expensive...
    but last friday, all the ticket went down to around 500, i was goin to get it but when i called my mom she said that all my dad brothers and sisters and including my mom already talked about bringing my dad to his final resting place on saturday morning, they wanted to wait for me up to sunday or monday, but they cant, because its Fiesta in batangas (where my dad province is and where his final resting place will be) and in the next day, monday they will go back in their work. so if ill get flight on friday night, ill still miss my dads funeral..
    so my mom just ask me to offer a mass for my dad....
    so complicated,,,
    OK, I hope everything will be fine and good.
    I feel what you feel and I hate thinking so much, that's why I advised you to fly.


  20. #20
    Respected Member kimmi's Avatar
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    My deepest sympathy with u Allyn and ur whole family..I am sorry for u loss..

    My thoughts and prayers are with u..


  21. #21
    Respected Member Tiggers0608's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear that and condolence to you and your family


  22. #22
    Respected Member misscarie's Avatar
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    Deepest Sympathy te allyn ur dad and ur family will understand your situation.
    Be strong and all our prayers are with you.

    Simon & Elena


    "You don't have to be a certain age to fall in love;
    although you've maybe been told you're to young.
    For those who tell you that,
    that don't know what is.
    "


  23. #23
    Respected Member DianaKevy's Avatar
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    My deepest sympathy to you and your family allyn.Be strong always. we are here for you.


  24. #24
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Sincerest condolences, Allyn. May you and your family be greatly comforted by the prayers of others.


  25. #25
    Respected Member mavid's Avatar
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    Our Deepest Condolence Allyn.


  26. #26
    Respected Member Ann07's Avatar
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    Hi Beauty

    Im glad that you post it here. Sharing is the best way to get on with everything beauty and im so grateful you phoned me that day. I know how you feel just be strong and i believe you are.Our prayers and condolonce are with you and your family.

    Keep me posted Beauty im always here u know that

    xxx
    Ann
    LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL


  27. #27
    Respected Member allyn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ann07 View Post
    Hi Beauty

    Im glad that you post it here. Sharing is the best way to get on with everything beauty and im so grateful you phoned me that day. I know how you feel just be strong and i believe you are.Our prayers and condolonce are with you and your family.

    Keep me posted Beauty im always here u know that

    xxx
    Ann
    thanks Tin for the message and the prayers

    and also thanks anne!!!! #
    for the emotional support and for talking to me on that day...
    and most of all for understanding my situation
    thank you
    I know it seems hard sometimes, but remember one thing, through every dark night, there's a bright day after that. So no matter how hard it gets, keep your chest out, keep your head up and handle it...


  28. #28
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    I am really sorry for ur loss Allyn, and accept my my deepest condolences..

    My prayers will be with u and ur family, just be strong..

    tiN and Paul
    It's good to have money and the things that money can buy, but it's good to check up once in a while to make sure you haven't lost the things that money can't buy.


  29. #29
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    Do u know that you let my tears come out with your post sorry cant help it,babaw luha ko eh, sorry to hear your loss,my condolence to u and to your family,as what TOm said,good and bad happens in daily life

    and kaya mo yan,im so glad your hubby was there with you ,we can always rely to them (husband)


  30. #30
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    Hi allyn,

    So sorry to read your bad news.
    It is never easy to lose someone in our family, and we can feel so helpless when we are thousands of miles away in another country.

    Try not to beat yourself up too much, you are trying your best in life.


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