i got a call from my mom last tuesday saying that my dad died..
(theres already a big whole in his lungs and his diabetes make it worse)
it hurt me more that anything in this world...
just a couple of weeks ago my dad is complaining about that not able to breath properly and my sister have to borrow nebulizer from neighbor,,,i told my mom ill buy him nebulizer so he can have it anytime he need it...but that same day that im goin to send that stuff is desame day i got a call from my mom about my dad..
the moment i heard it i was so shock that i fell down from where im standing and just started crying,,,my manager saw me broke down so she took the phone and talk to my mom,,,she just gave me back the phone when i was able to talk...but im still crying,,,
i wanted to run to the nearest airport and just fly back to the philippines but reality hit me...
i cant,,,we just paid our monthly expenses and i have not much enough savings in my account to get a very expensive flight (because its Easter holiday, flights is so expensive)
i gave my hubby a call when i got home and my hubby went back to our home as soon as he can,,,he hug me and kiss me when he saw me crying in the sofa...he said he is goin to do something to get me a flight but i know to do so he have to get a loan somewhere else, wich is not a good option, because i dont want him to get into debt ,,,and if he get it, both of us will suffer for it when i get back....so i told him not to get any loan
i told my mom my situation and she said my dad will understand us,,,and they understand me...
but even tho deep inside i feel like i should have done some thing more...
coz last month i didnt accept partime housekeeping job at week end in the hotel to get some rest...i have work 7 months without week end off just to save up money to get my mom here for a vacation,,,so i though ill take a rest for a month in my week end partme job...and so i did,,,but this horrible news came about my dad,,and it cought me unguarded,,,i wish i didnt take that whole month, week end job off...
all i did is cry the whole day,,,but i tried to put on my brave face and go to work the next day because i dont want to stay in our flat and just cry,,,
All the staff in the office was so supportive and so is the nurses,,they offer a mass for my dad and tried to comfort me...
i got a friend from here who i was able to call to and talk to ,,,she gave me an advice and she also tried to comfort me ...
i didnt get much any emotional support from my inlaw...it does hurt me,,,but i just tried to ignore them,,,
my husband is been very supportive to me,,,he always hug me and tried to take care of me in this dark moment...
even tho im so desperate to see my dad for the last time,,,i cant...i wish its that easy,,,,,i just wish...
sorry for long story,,,
just sharing my thoughts