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Thread: Awful Swine Flu jokes Here please...

  1. #1
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    Awful Swine Flu jokes Here please...

    Put your awful swine flu jokes here, if you can give us the most awful, corny, groan worthy joke, you'll win a bacon sandwich!

    Here's my awful swine flu joke:

    The government have created a product to help cure swine flu...it's an oinkment!

    Do I win?

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  2. #2
    Respected Member somebody's Avatar
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    Email warning

    If you get an email from department of environment health about swine flu, advising not to eat tinned pork,







    ignore it... it's spam.
    Oh lord why did you make so many clothes and shoe shops


  3. #3
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    [QUOTE=nigel;135717
    The government have created a product to help cure swine flu...it's an oinkment![/QUOTE]

    Quote Originally Posted by somebody View Post
    Email warning

    If you get an email from department of environment health about swine flu, advising not to eat tinned pork,
    ignore it... it's spam.
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  4. #4
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    If you are worried about how to treat Swine flu if you catch it, no need to
    worry, there's a new product on the shelves...
    Attached Images Attached Images


  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    If you are worried about how to treat Swine flu if you catch it, no need to
    worry, there's a new product on the shelves...
    NICE ONE ZOBEL
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  6. #6
    Respected Member Bluebirdjones's Avatar
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    Swine Flu

    Pooh.doc

    Can't figger out how to just attach a photo/pic, so you've got the doc !
    No man is an island, but Barry is


  7. #7
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdjones View Post
    Pooh.doc

    Can't figger out how to just attach a photo/pic, so you've got the doc !
    This is ace... hehe


  8. #8
    Respected Member Eljohno's Avatar
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    The big bad wolf said to the 3 little piggies " i will huff & i will puff & i will blow your house down"

    The 3 little Piggies said " Go away or we will sneeze on you"

    Some of the Filipinos might not know this kids story!!


  9. #9
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eljohno View Post
    The big bad wolf said to the 3 little piggies " i will huff & i will puff & i will blow your house down"

    The 3 little Piggies said " Go away or we will sneeze on you"

    Some of the Filipinos might not know this kids story!!

    3 little pigs haha.. nice


  10. #10
    Respected Member jimeve's Avatar
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    this little piggy went to the market,this little piggy stayed at home, coz it vomited and pooed in bed. now its dead:


  11. #11
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    This was posted by bluebirdjones, click to enlarge it...

    Winnie The swine Flu.jpg


    Gosh it's way too small though! Eeeeek!

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  12. #12
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    I've beenphonihg the nhs swine flu help line
    can't get through all I seem to get is--
    CRACKLING.

    I think the wifes got swine flu




    she keeps coming out in RASHERS




    LAST AWFULL SWINE FLU JOKE------


    My wife rang me and sez I've run out fo petrol & I'm scared to fill up because of swine flu.

    You silly cow I sed it's in Mexico not TEXACO


  13. #13
    Respected Member Alan's Avatar
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    Smile

    This little piggy went to market,
    This little piggy stayed at home,
    This little piggy had roast beef,
    This little piggy had none.
    And this little piggy had influenza A virus subtype hemagglutinin protein 1 neuraminidase protein 1.

    Al.
    Pressed rat and warthog closed down their shop!


  14. #14
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    Someone said that if a black man ever became President of the USA, pigs would fly!

    Guess what, first came Obama.

    And then, Swine Flue.


  15. #15
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    I know I said there would be a prize but your jokes are so awful I feel you should be punished instead!

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  16. #16
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    You may have seen this already but just in case ...

    While the Government debates the impact of the swine flu pandemic, instances of hysteria and discrimination are reportedly on the rise:
    Attached Images Attached Images


  17. #17
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    LOL.... no one has won the prize yet?


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    A man goes to see his doctor as he thinks he has swine flu.

    The doctor takes one look at him and tells him to go to the window and stick his tongue out, which he does. "Does sticking my tongue out to the light tell you if I have swine flu?" say's the man.

    "No" say's the doctor, "I just don't like that nosy old woman accross the road!"



  19. #19
    Respected Member GaryFifer's Avatar
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    First fatality to famous frog, and we all KNOW WHO DID IT RIGHT?

    It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.


  20. #20
    Respected Member GaryFifer's Avatar
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    If you are a man

    It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm all out of gum.


  21. #21
    Respected Member jimeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gary2jessica View Post
    First fatality to famous frog, and we all KNOW WHO DID IT RIGHT?

    So, thats what happened to Kermit.


  22. #22
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimeve View Post
    So, thats what happened to Kermit.
    Hehehe I didn't get it at first either to be honest...remember kermits love interest Miss Piggy?

    ****And Kermit thought she would "Save his bacon..!"****

    Now I've made that one up (sort of) therefore I win the prize!

    Is that fair?

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  23. #23
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Northerner View Post
    A man goes to see his doctor as he thinks he has swine flu.

    The doctor takes one look at him and tells him to go to the window and stick his tongue out, which he does. "Does sticking my tongue out to the light tell you if I have swine flu?" say's the man.

    "No" say's the doctor, "I just don't like that nosy old woman accross the road!"

    hehe reminds me of my Zachry disease joke! hehe

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  24. #24
    Respected Member LadyJ's Avatar
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    You are all funny!

    Check this one..

    swine-flu-joke.jpg
    Not an expert, I only try to help.


  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay&Zobel View Post
    While the Government debates the impact of the swine flu pandemic, instances of hysteria and discrimination are reportedly on the rise:
    Oh poor piglet, lol, being discriminated by winnie and friends, lol
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


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