A few days ago while I was on YM with my girlfriend she brutally asked me what I expected over my visit in September and she clearly asked if I expected to be “intimate” with her. I had little time to elaborate and later on sent her an e-mail which I am partly reproducing below:

“I have searched on the Internet to know the Filipinas better and visited discussion forums and also when on FH discussed with Pinays who had already received the visit of a foreign boyfriend and it is my understanding that in a number of cases the western suitor considers that because he has undertaken a long and costly journey he has the right to demand favours or compensations and this is a problem for Pinays, especially those who are still virgins.

I am not that type of man and have never been. I am not just bragging or trying to impress you and show how perfect I am but this is just the plain truth. I have been married and have had relations before and never forced or pressured anyone for sex. I am rather shy and I know my limits and I am careful never to put a woman in an embarrassing situation.

Still I have been thinking about that issue too and since you said that you would start to prepare my visit for mid-July I wanted to advise you that when we both go together to Samal island it would be better that I book two rooms so we both have privacy and considering what we have been discussing I am sure you understand me.

Being intimate is not something we can plan in advance especially when we haven’t seen each other for real yet. We may have different reactions when face to face and another factor that requires consideration is that we both have been deprived of sex for a long time....

I hope I have made my point clear, I am not a sexual predator and even with no chaperone behind you have absolutely nothing to fear from me. I am willing to build a long term relationship and do not want to spoil it by being brutal and demanding. I know you have dignity and self-respect and I will always make sure you are not ashamed of me.”

My girlfriend, whom I have already introduced here under the thread about “age gap” is a wonderful woman and I do not want to mess up a relation which we both want for a lifetime. She liked my letter and said we just needed to follow our inspiration when I would be there. I was just wondering if there was something more I needed to do (or refrain to do..) to make our first encounter a great success. She is a bit conservative and I am not the forward type (yes, a few Frenchmen are like that )...

Thanks for your input! Since my last thread I have had the opportunity to discover her and she is just fantastic!