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Thread: farting!

  1. #31
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Didnt there used to be an urban myth of an old lady who farted so much,one winters night she closed her bedroom window,the methane level in her bedroom built up to such a degree she died overnight of methane narcosis



    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  2. #32
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bornatbirth View Post
    i always think of the ozone layer,i keep the window open!
    I've sorted that by storing it in plastic bottle - then I'm using it to fire up my BBQ in the garden, or for lighting
    Jiri & Maricel


  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ji&Ma View Post
    I've sorted that by storing it in plastic bottle - then I'm using it to fire up my BBQ in the garden, or for lighting
    LOL, does it add to the flavor?
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  4. #34
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    LOL, does it add to the flavor?
    try it and let us know?
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  5. #35
    Respected Member Ji&Ma's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    LOL, does it add to the flavor?
    Actually not too much - as it is just pure natural gas
    Jiri & Maricel


  6. #36
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    There was once an urban myth in pinas too about a guy in the MRT who's been wanting to fart so bad as he probably ate something bad that day.....
    But he cannot just fart in public where he is sorrounded by people as he is in a train,
    so he came up with a strategy, since there was a music on the background,
    he figured he will go and fart in time when the music is at it's peak and loudest which is the chorus part, so his fart won't be heard...
    So he did, he finally relieved himself and thinking he got away with it unnoticed,
    bu then he saw everyone looking at him in a very bad and disgusting way.....
    that's when he realized he was on his ipod with his headset on his ears...
    and thats where the music came from......
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  7. #37
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tawi2 View Post
    You might produce more methane as you get older?Dogs utots are the worst ...
    I once knew someone who, whenever her husband let off a 'real rifter', almost invariably had a tendency to meekly inquire: ... "Has the dog farted, Harry?... sniff, sniff ... "

    Poor mutt ... lying docile on the fireside rug ... HE always got the blame!


  8. #38
    Respected Member Tawi2's Avatar
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    Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again. But life goes on.
    The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the passion that she shows to the outside world.


  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    I once knew someone who, whenever her husband let off a 'real rifter', almost invariably had a tendency to meekly inquire: ... "Has the dog farted, Harry?... sniff, sniff ... "

    Poor mutt ... lying docile on the fireside rug ... HE always got the blame!
    Although I use 1 icon that doesnt mean I smile or laugh just simple, you made me laugh out loud


  10. #40
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ji&Ma View Post
    I've sorted that by storing it in plastic bottle
    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    LOL, does it add to the flavor?

    It certainly helps to "ripen" it!


  11. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    It certainly helps to "ripen" it!
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  12. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    It certainly helps to "ripen" it!
    Nice thread, At least we are still in the subject "Fart" even though the thread owner leave it up on us
    I am sure Keith wouldnt mind all this chat, yuhoooo pssttt dont forget your donation alright even just 50p will help loads of people


  13. #43
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    ... you made me laugh out loud
    And did THAT, in turn, cause you to FART even LOUDER... ?


  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    And did THAT, in turn, cause you to FART even LOUDER... ?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    We make it secretly(no sound) as we can, especially in bed (during sleeping time), as you know filipina demure or polite conservative, etc...etc...blah- blah
    No . .:lol2:


  15. #45
    Respected Member nigel's Avatar
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    My farts are silent, but VIOLENT!

    (Quick poem)

    Beans, beans, make you fart!
    Custard powder, makes it louder!
    Have some jelly, makes it smelly!

    I think I missed a line?

    There are 7 Planes Of Existance:

    7 — Material Plane: The earth, where you are right now.
    6 — Plane of Forces
    5 — Astral Plane
    4 — Mental Plane
    3 — Too mysterious to describe.
    2 — Too mysterious to describe.
    1 — Too mysterious to describe.




  16. #46
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    NEVER EVER FART IN PUBLIC PLACES!!!!

    you'll never know what will come out...

    YOu might want to see this video!!!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PF9EJZ6QIQ0


  17. #47
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    I once knew someone who, whenever her husband let off a 'real rifter', almost invariably had a tendency to meekly inquire: ... "Has the dog farted, Harry?... sniff, sniff ... "

    Poor mutt ... lying docile on the fireside rug ... HE always got the blame!
    when i was younger we had a dog who was old and would get sick so we would take him to the vets and he would get a stack of pills to keep him going! he would lie there and you could here the air release from his butt and then the old doggy fart would hit you

    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    There was once an urban myth in pinas too about a guy in the MRT who's been wanting to fart so bad as he probably ate something bad that day.....
    But he cannot just fart in public where he is sorrounded by people as he is in a train,
    so he came up with a strategy, since there was a music on the background,
    he figured he will go and fart as much as he can in time when the music is at it's peak and loudest which is mostly the chorus part.....
    So he did, he finally relieved himself and thinking he got away with it unnoticed,
    bu then he saw everyone looking at him in a very bad and disgusting way.....
    that's when he realized he was on his ipod with his headset on his ears...
    and thats where the music came from......
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  18. #48
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs.JMajor View Post
    Nice thread, At least we are still in the subject "Fart"
    Yeah, amazing! Just imagine, it's had more respones than the one on 'Father's Day'. Perhaps June 24 can henceforth be designated "Farters' Day"! ... . Shall we mark the Calendar?


  19. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by nigel View Post
    My farts are silent, but VIOLENT!
    Oh, so you got one of those "silent but deadly" fart.......
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  20. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    Yeah, amazing! Just imagine, it's had more respones than the one on 'Father's Day'. Perhaps June 24 can henceforth be designated "Farters' Day" ... . Shall we mark the Calendar?
    Don't you think BAB deserves a rep for coming up with a thread that successfuly took off unexpectedly and got a lot of amazing response here?
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  21. #51
    Respected Member scott&ligaya's Avatar
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    FARTING TODAY AND VIBRATORS YESTERDAY. help our lovely Pinay partners are becoming British ladettes!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Live your life for a reason and don't worry be happy

    if you don't know where you are going then any road will do!!


  22. #52
    Respected Member Jay&Zobel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scott&ligaya View Post
    FARTING TODAY AND VIBRATORS YESTERDAY. help our lovely Pinay partners are becoming British ladettes!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I know!!! scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  23. #53
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arthur Little View Post
    Poor mutt ... lying docile on the fireside rug ... HE always got the blame! ...
    Quote Originally Posted by bornatbirth View Post
    ... he would lie there and you could here the air release from his butt and then the old doggy fart would hit you
    Mmmm ... delicious aroma! ... almost as fragrant as the odour wafting from beneath the bedclothes when *one "lets-off" [as it's termed in polite circles] and ... immediately pulls them up around one's head - perchance to savour the moment ...

    *With apologies to the incumbent of 'Buck House' ... none other than our esteemed Monarch - alias "One" - of the British *Empire (if *such still exists!)


  24. #54
    Respected Member bornatbirth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scott&ligaya View Post
    FARTING TODAY AND VIBRATORS YESTERDAY. help our lovely Pinay partners are becoming British ladettes!!!!!!!!!!!!
    yep its seems our filipinas are very good adapting to the uk culture
    i have learnt to do what my wife says!


  25. #55
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sophie View Post
    Don't you think BAB deserves a rep for coming up with a thread that successfuly took off unexpectedly and got a lot of amazing response here?
    Indeed I DO, Sophie ... most definitely! "For HE'S a jolly good fellow ... and so say ALL of us ... "


  26. #56
    Administrator KeithD's Avatar
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    When they shouted "Gas Gas Gas" in WW1.....is that when they wanted to warn the enemy a Filipina was in the area?
    Keith - Administrator


  27. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Win2Win View Post
    When they shouted "Gas Gas Gas" in WW1.....is that when they wanted to warn the enemy a Filipina was in the area?
    "10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% is decided by how you react"
    "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost"


  28. #58
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    In the words of the renowned Scottish National Bard [ no, NOT Alex Salmond (though I believe he's probably good at it as well)] the much-celebrated Rabbie Burns: "Where'er ye be ... let yer ain wind blaw free ... !"

    N.B. Translations into Anglo-Filipino availble on request ... but don't all rush at once!


  29. #59
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    I believe I might've recounted this TRUE [honest!] tale somewhere on here before. Anyhow, I make no apologies for telling it again in the PRESENT context:

    As a youngster in the pre-Qualifying Class at Elementary School [circa mid-1950s] I recollect being required to learn, and recite, certain poetic works. I cannot seem to remember now, the name of the poem - nor to whom it was attributed. I DO, however, vividly recall one particular LINE ... which read thus:-

    " ... But listen, listen, listen ...
    And you shall hear afar ...

    Some bright spark had pencilled in the letter 't' to make the last word of the second line ... 'afar' ... appear as 'afar[t]!

    Out of the mouths of babes & sucklings, right enough.


  30. #60
    Moderator Arthur Little's Avatar
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    P.S. IMpurely out of curiosity ... anyone here tried adding a "new" dimension to the old custom of "blowing bubbles" by farting in the BATHTUB?

    I DO realise Filipin(os)/as might well encounter certain difficulties in perfecting this particular "art" on account of their penchant for using the TABO?

    Would I be correct in my assumption?


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